Sequel to "Sex Sells..."So, why I decided to set up a second date after all that makes me wanna pound myself! Is it "just a little crush" or am I delusional and bored? For The Cake
Date 2 was brunch and I had no hunch he was gonna ghost ME!This date he was less sexual and more focused on how his friends used him .... Doesn't quite seem like his preppy color or style but the lyrics sure fit. Well, apparently I was "counseling him" at the first bar and then at the second one, I had more conversation with the bartender than him. He just wasn't feeling it and I was quite frankly okay with it. My midrift top attracted attention from an older guy at the bar probably because he doesn't feel his beer belly could make the same impact. You know what older guy at the bar on a Sunday afternoon? It's your body and it's significant because it belongs to you! ....not that he's reading this but.... just putting that positive body juju out there. After the date, the rain rushed us into his pristine Jeep and he drove me home. This time I reached for his hand but the connected had fizzled. I'm quite familiar with this part of dating. The fun and newness had already worn off and this is probably the last time I'd hear from him. Well, I at least I wasn't the one to do the breaking... Nearly a month AND A HALF later, I received a text:
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_ | Mister Nice Guy with a knack for spilling tea, Shy sapphire eyes with complexity Pierced from the past and imprinted with studs Dazzling with wit, not accrediting above Declares himself timid and toxic Intimate, but his heart, he locks it. Infidelity observer and others' habits Aspires for more than fucking like rabbits Intricate path wired a short fuse Between racing and friends: rather not choose Unique sense of style, options "shoed" Possibility potential not yet pursued Curious of his next cup to spill Content or another shallow thrill? Anticipating boiling tap water He'd be different if he caught her |
Attachment, there's no place.
Curiosity always curved
Sympathy seekers curbed.
Lingering until latched,
Genuine intention stashed.
Liberally lining their pockets,
Energy greater than sockets.
Unplug upon satisfaction.
Ignore embittered reaction.
Sultry scan for a souvenir,
Hardly the parasite pioneer.
Dates and Cakes here addressing the fact that my posts have been sparse but not necessarily apologizing because, well, I've been distance dating. I've newly defined this word as:
Distance Dating (v): The act of not actively dating but lapping up the attention from any potential suitor within reason. In order to engage in this act, you must meet the person organically or digitally without the use of a matchmaker ie: married friend set up, dating site, classifies ad, ect. Also, the person must not be convenient in literal distance from your residence, engages in drastically different extra curriculars, or is how do you say... "out of your lane" in terms of "leagues:
- It physically makes me ill to rehash the details of him? hims? them?
- I've been trying to job hunt, soul search, and take up reading
- I've been recording many of them for the vlog (subscribe on youtube: datesandcakes)
But what we do know.... is I definitely have not met my future ex-boyfriend.
Today's post though is for the connection casualties that caused damage. Unfortunately, since this happens to be my type, this new Carly Pearce song is dedicated to.... well at LEAST 5 guys that come to mind. I didn't love any of them, but a girl can dream... and my dreaming is astronomical. Hell-- I just got back yesterday from a solo trip to Cabo! AND I'm already kicking around plans for the next adventure.
I like to think I'm getting better at this temporary thing. Sure, we live in a throw-away society but, never in my wildest dreams could I have placed myself in the same room as disposable. Middle school and college should have prepared me for that with some of the friendships that came to pass and quite frankly broke my heart. Alas, I continued to throw parts of my heart into things and encounters probably in 2018.
2017 was my first year dating around EVER. Single, cute, no kids, no divorce, and a listener? The possibilities were endless. The chase was riveting and my attention span matched the longevity of each encounter. It wasn't until I got tired of sharing my story (which had been spark-noted with a dose of mysterious) and wanted to be my quirky, loud self with one of the guys I was dating that I started to lean toward boy friend boulevard.
I'd like to say the forgetting is easier, because the goodbye certainly is. I'd like to say "next time is gonna-- I'm not gonna..."
Dedicated to: [you know who you are]
I am my mother's daughter
I watched her with my father
I saw it all, the good and bad
Should've known better than that
You found me at the right time
I loved you from that first night
Bet everything on what we had
Should've known better than that
[Chorus]
I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste
You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame
Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known bеtter
Than to break what you couldn't fix
Boy, what a shame what you'rе gonna miss
Why'd you go and do what you can't take back?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that
[Verse 2]
You sold me on a fantasy
Damn it, it all felt real to me
Thought you were the man in the photograph
Should've known better than that
Oh, I should've known better than that
2
[Chorus]
I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste
You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame
Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better
Than to break what you couldn't fix
Boy, what a shame what you're gonna miss
Why'd you go and do what you can't take back?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that
[Instrumental Break]
[Bridge]
Still some nights, I'm crying on the floor
But I'm not sleeping in the bed you made, no more
[Chorus]
I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste
You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame
Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better
Than to break what you couldn't fix
Boy, what a shame what you're gonna miss
Why'd you go and do what you can't take back?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that
Standards to oblige-- bent
Anticipation of something built
Following bios and emotions spilled
Sheer intrigue wrapped like candy
Something shore leaves you sandy
Different dawn and dialect
This one too, I must forget
I'm attracted to accents, beards, height, humor, and unfulfilled potential. The last of these is the one that gets me into trouble.... and quite possibly earns me a fraction of these datesandcakes stories.
I lust over the story-- "our story" that we could tell others how we met. I live for the chase and impossible situation that only we together could make possible. I pretend that time-zone conversion will be a conversion of the soul. Okay... that one was too far.
- He's only talking to me
- He genuinely wants to get to know me
- He sees potential in me and maybe even excited about it
- He wants to get to know me on the inside and not just get there
- He couldn't possibly just be killing time
- He would pursue long-distance if he found someone worth it
- He is bound to belt the Hootie and the Blowfish song "I Only Wanna Be With You," even if it's just to himself about... well, your's truly
- He will not make me settle down
- His more reserved side will even us out as a couple
- He'll want to tell his friends about me
- He won't leave me on read intentionally
- He'll respect me
- He'll be as thoughtful as I am (to my inner circle -xoxo)
I figured a baker's dozen is a good place to stop ;))
You can't read between lines that aren't even drawn in the sand. Number 11 and 12 are probably the biggest jokes of all, at least lately....
It's like I didn't understand science or the scientific method AT ALL. Stephanie, your hypothesis is continuously wrong!
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There's been SO manyyyyyyy examples of this in my "dating." The current shut-down status of the world begged for the quotation marks because it seems globally we are shutting people out since life as we know it has shut down and rerouted our day-to-day existence. I cannot tell you the last time I actually felt like I "dated" someone. Seems lonely, but is only at times I'm not pushing myself for better.
Actually, datesandcakes' science of attraction and downfall of all the connections I've had in the last year (let's not bite off more than we can chew ;) could really be summed up to one painful truth. It's a personal problem. As arithmetic taught me, I'm the common denominator!
So, here's to working on me and maybe my next hypothesis will be have some ground to stand on.
You hear the man! And what better pair of flavors that exude the "laws of attraction" than.... (drum roll please)
Don't be peanut butter and jealous... as always, I share the recipe. I will say, that picture was for comedy purposes and this is the one DatesandCakes will be making:
- Cake:
- 1/2 cup salted butter, softened
- 1/2 cup peanut butter
- 1 cup light brown sugar
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup whole milk
- Frosting:
- 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened
- 1/2 teaspoon unsweetened grape Kool-Aid mix
- 3 Tablespoons grape jelly
- 3 1/3 cups powdered sugar
- 3 teaspoons warm water
- Additional peanut butter and jelly for garnish, if desired
- Purple food coloring
- Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour 3 (8 inch) round cake pans and set aside. Alternately, you can make 2 thicker cakes.
- In a medium bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Set aside.
- In the bowl of your mixer, beat butter, peanut butter and both sugars on medium speed for 2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each. Beat in vanilla extract.
- With the mixer on medium low, beat in flour and milk alternately, starting and ending with the flour mixture. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and give the batter a good stir from the bottom with a rubber spatula.
- Spread batter evenly in prepared pans and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until top springs back when lightly touched in the center. Remove from oven and let cool in the pans for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.
- Prepare frosting:
- In the bowl you your mixer, beat butter, Kool-Aid mix, and grape jelly until smooth. With the mixer on low, slowly add powdered sugar, a little bit at a time, until just mixed in. Add warm water food coloring and slowly increase mixer speed to high. Beat for one minute, until smooth and fluffy.
- Stack and frost cake. If desired, chill after frosting, until firm, then top with peanut butter and jelly for garnish.
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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