A DatesandCakes on how-to: |
So, it was just another day moping about a connection casualty when I was asked by a new friend what my favorite place to travel was for food. That was the moment I forgot who I was upset about. |  |
So, this Dates and Cakes' post will pick up the fork in the road and visit the places that plated the best love affairs.
Food is an art that draws me in with the aroma, colors, and presentation. The first place that came to mind when thinking of food I fell in love with was actually the food in the Salt Lake City... I just returned from a solo trip there (yes, even during new spikes in our Carona-induced world.... Dos Equis gets no love). I know this sounds like a crazy confession, but they had Venezuelan food, true Mexican mole, and great sour beers that they made in house! What more could you ask for in a mountain town? Well... it's near a mountain (or two).
Since I started in the states, it's only fair to mention the C'est si bon food that IS New Orleans; they probably have the best food in the country. How can I make such bold claims? Simple, I'm Cajun. San Francisco had great sourdough bread and baguettes. While we're here, I'll throw two more your way: Charleston has some great southern food and have revolutionized brunch. Then, Hillcountry and the metroplex in Texas has great BBQ, tacos, Tex-Mex, Mexican, and burgers.... "Put some south in your mouth" as the wise ones say...
Food is an art that draws me in with the aroma, colors, and presentation. The first place that came to mind when thinking of food I fell in love with was actually the food in the Salt Lake City... I just returned from a solo trip there (yes, even during new spikes in our Carona-induced world.... Dos Equis gets no love). I know this sounds like a crazy confession, but they had Venezuelan food, true Mexican mole, and great sour beers that they made in house! What more could you ask for in a mountain town? Well... it's near a mountain (or two).
Since I started in the states, it's only fair to mention the C'est si bon food that IS New Orleans; they probably have the best food in the country. How can I make such bold claims? Simple, I'm Cajun. San Francisco had great sourdough bread and baguettes. While we're here, I'll throw two more your way: Charleston has some great southern food and have revolutionized brunch. Then, Hillcountry and the metroplex in Texas has great BBQ, tacos, Tex-Mex, Mexican, and burgers.... "Put some south in your mouth" as the wise ones say...
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But how elementary of my palate to stay in the states for good eats? My heart fluttered with the flavors the central of Belize provided me. I loved the food in Belize because it's a humble country, so all the citizens I encountered were friendly and welcoming. Their food is phenomenal and they cook it right in front of you out on big pits. Sizzling meat Greece also had a really good food because they fry their cheese oh gosh!
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Belgium has good food too! When I was in Brussels and Brugges, I just ate my way through those cities. This pastry was something we stumbled upon while exploring Brussels by foot. It was a cream cheese tart with middle eastern influence (we were in an Arabian neighborhood/district kilometres outside city center).
And obviously Rome has really really really really really good pasta. Like the homemade tortellini I could have eaten without the sauce but then he put hand-grinded pesto sauce and I seriously thought I was going to go into a food coma.
Prague did not disappoint with their fairy tale cottages of sweets. Unfortunately, their staff's customer service was no fairy tale.
Prague did not disappoint with their fairy tale cottages of sweets. Unfortunately, their staff's customer service was no fairy tale.
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Madrid has GREAT tapas and Bordeaux has incredible bread. Even from their grocery store like one croissant was like equivalent to $0.85 and I almost wept, it melted in my mouth.
Two words: STREET MEAT. Where? Budapest and Brussels
Two words: STREET MEAT. Where? Budapest and Brussels
 | Culture is another delectable part of visiting an unfamiliar city. One of my favorite places is Toledo, Spain. It was inhabited by the Romans and then taken over by Iberians and then captured by The Spanish. You can see all the different influences across the city and heavily in the architecture. Toledo, Spain is actually where the phrase "holy Toledo" came from because it's considered one of the holiest cities in Europe. It symbolizes Roman Catholicism, Muslim, and Judaism. |
"Put a fork in me, I'm done!"
I'm going to continue to write and travel but fork dating for the rest of 2020~
Remember the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?" Well.... DatesandCakes has her own real approach on it!
"Bullshit!"
Guess I'll have to continue to play the cards I've been dealt.
Featured in the vlog as the young navy guy that wants to date me and respected my "giving up dating for lent."
Although he respected that and asked me on the first conversation we engaged in if I would come visit him on the west coast, his actions didn't measure up to his talk.
On the day that ends lent, that calendars deem Easter, I went on another disappointing first date. It was not because:
- He hit on the bartender
- In chronological order, listed why I am single
- Took me to an AA meeting
- Dumped me before taking me to Disney
- Bored me outta my mind
- Made me drink 4 glasses of water at a bar with him so he could pass his breathalyzer
Although all those are true datesandcakes first dates, this one didn't take our date seriously and for the first time in years, I knew I deserved better.
He kept getting on his phone, his friends barged in for like 4 minutes of the movie, he almost left the date to go to the other side of the California base to help his friends sneak back on, he brought up a YOLO message that some girl put on his story, and then he said he's "got this in the bag" and assumed we were having a second date.
I made sure to make it clear that he didn't have to be sorry, but it was actually me that was sorry; I was the one that had unrealistic expectations because I took this seriously.
Naturally, he schmoozed me and talked me into a second movie with him. Oh, but don't get ahead of yourself. We didn't watch it.... he had to go talk to his buddies in a couple hours so cut it short before another movie was brought up a second time.
Naturally, he schmoozed me and talked me into a second movie with him. Oh, but don't get ahead of yourself. We didn't watch it.... he had to go talk to his buddies in a couple hours so cut it short before another movie was brought up a second time.
I was ASTONISHED that yet ANOTHER guy that claimed to care failed to follow through with actions. I felt foolish and lonely and quite frankly, desperate. If you've read even 2 DatesandCakes posts, you'd know that this is new concept or lesson to learn.
While I was fuming later that night, he asked for my address, to which I reluctantly released as to not seem "crazy."
These were the results......
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Yes, he listened for my favorite flower BUT, still owes me royalties for using my Stephanie Original that quotes Tony the Tiger...
Excuse me for still riding the high of National Woman's month... or don't. "Quite frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."
The atrocious "isms" are everywhere: racism, sexism, ageism, alcoholism, ableism, classism, prism... wait, that's just a shape-- I mean not JUST a shape. All shapes matter. This post is specific to the ism I have most expertise on... after all, I have been a woman my whole life.... I "have personally felt victimized by Regina Gorge." Okay, maybe not, but I have without a doubt felt utter disdain in my bones for guys that have even joked "make me a sandwich."
Oh, I'll show you the dark side... of my trunk....while you're wrapped in tarp. #earlhadtodieAs
IF a kitchen is or has been the only place a woman belongs in the past 80 years! Let that sink in. Longer than most of your grandparents have been alive.
IF a kitchen is or has been the only place a woman belongs in the past 80 years! Let that sink in. Longer than most of your grandparents have been alive.
So here is a beloved vlog about flipping the script. Unfortunately, I couldn't do so in the US of A, so here is a true story from Iceland just before this pandemic banned our travel :)
"She's got a ticket to ride and she don't care." Beatles bumping, spirit flapping, and mind buzzing, she does it again.
Vantage Point From Edinburgh Castle January 2020
I'm trapped. Strapped. Secluded. Isolated. I need out. Need something new. "I'm begging you to be my escape."
After watching relationships of ones I love, my heart bled for their misery. This was especially true when I inquired of the reason for starting the relationship. My level of astonishment couldn't be measured. This isn't a romantic comedy where the music shift foreshadows the revelation of the protagonist. This music was never turned up. They exchanged their dreams of "happily ever after" for 5 minute sex and a cigarette after or a sunset with nightmare laughter. They jumped out of singleness, painted gloomy into taken, shackled with diamonds. No one bothered to chip away at the paint, they just wanted a highway to happiness. I can't blame them--- certainly sounds like a highway I would set the cruise to 90 on. But, what the signs don't tell you is this is not "the" highway to happiness, there are always alternative modes of transportation to achieve this ultimate goal. The signs offer no warning that the road may take you to a similar fog from happiness you're currently enduring.
After watching relationships of ones I love, my heart bled for their misery. This was especially true when I inquired of the reason for starting the relationship. My level of astonishment couldn't be measured. This isn't a romantic comedy where the music shift foreshadows the revelation of the protagonist. This music was never turned up. They exchanged their dreams of "happily ever after" for 5 minute sex and a cigarette after or a sunset with nightmare laughter. They jumped out of singleness, painted gloomy into taken, shackled with diamonds. No one bothered to chip away at the paint, they just wanted a highway to happiness. I can't blame them--- certainly sounds like a highway I would set the cruise to 90 on. But, what the signs don't tell you is this is not "the" highway to happiness, there are always alternative modes of transportation to achieve this ultimate goal. The signs offer no warning that the road may take you to a similar fog from happiness you're currently enduring.
Daylight and Sunlight are NOT the same thing!
I recently learned this difference in both Prague and Reykjavik.... but, I'm getting ahead of myself here.
Some people feel that they would have it all if they just had a significant other. That mentality leads to settling and agreeing to that person because of a delicate equation of
time spent+morals-patience/time left.
This isn't proven with mathematics or science, but just what I've noticed from women (and one man) that I respect and used to admire--- idolize their marriage.
Prior to this observation, I was venturing out into new states and opportunities, hoping to be rerouted with a "good find." For the right person, I was open to slowing up so we could prepare to launch somewhere together. My imagination scribbled plans of following his job and starting anew a build a network because he would already have our direction. It wasn't until the corruption of the marriages I adored loosened their bandages that I removed my gaze from cloud-framed imagination and I amped-up my hustle. Put in longer hours, said no dates (while spending no effort on excuses to suitors), and cut my spending in half. Put up signs for a garage sale and hit the library in the Non-Fiction section. After pouring over 10% of the geography books 3 branches in Fort Worth had to offer, I spread my wings to Dallas and received notice from a friend with a mutual obsession for travel.
A week later, it was official: I had my own ticket to ride.
.....Actually, I got 7 tickets to ride.
On Christmas Eve, I kissed my family, tradition, and a ham feast goodbye as I boarded a 787 Dreamliner to London. Nontraditional, not regrettable, and inevitably unforgettable.
For the next 19 days, Prague, Brussels, Bruges, Dublin, Howte, Glasgow, Edinburgh, and Reykjavik became my temporary home. I became my own ticket and took my imagination for a ride.
There is more that fuels you than a significant other; find it and pursue it passionately.
Some people feel that they would have it all if they just had a significant other. That mentality leads to settling and agreeing to that person because of a delicate equation of
time spent+morals-patience/time left.
This isn't proven with mathematics or science, but just what I've noticed from women (and one man) that I respect and used to admire--- idolize their marriage.
Prior to this observation, I was venturing out into new states and opportunities, hoping to be rerouted with a "good find." For the right person, I was open to slowing up so we could prepare to launch somewhere together. My imagination scribbled plans of following his job and starting anew a build a network because he would already have our direction. It wasn't until the corruption of the marriages I adored loosened their bandages that I removed my gaze from cloud-framed imagination and I amped-up my hustle. Put in longer hours, said no dates (while spending no effort on excuses to suitors), and cut my spending in half. Put up signs for a garage sale and hit the library in the Non-Fiction section. After pouring over 10% of the geography books 3 branches in Fort Worth had to offer, I spread my wings to Dallas and received notice from a friend with a mutual obsession for travel.
A week later, it was official: I had my own ticket to ride.
.....Actually, I got 7 tickets to ride.
On Christmas Eve, I kissed my family, tradition, and a ham feast goodbye as I boarded a 787 Dreamliner to London. Nontraditional, not regrettable, and inevitably unforgettable.
For the next 19 days, Prague, Brussels, Bruges, Dublin, Howte, Glasgow, Edinburgh, and Reykjavik became my temporary home. I became my own ticket and took my imagination for a ride.
There is more that fuels you than a significant other; find it and pursue it passionately.
Be Your Own Escape like the Blue Lagoon was to me in 32 degree weather in Iceland.
In the brink of cuffing season, it seems many of the failed connections I thought I friend-zoned found their match. So there is a happy ending.... right?
Here's certainly one way I've seen guys trying to combat the friend-zone:
It didn't work for either of us because he stopped being the sweet guy I knew and started treating me like an object.... so, like 96% of the other ones currently swiping through tinder. Knowledge of each other's existence ceased as we know it.
So, in a way, friend zoning someone is a relationship (not solely intimate) death sentence.... so "zone" wisely.
How do you react to rejection?
Do you wave your hands in the air (or wave them in the air, like you just don't care)? Do you breakdown like an '87 Oldsmobile with a self-esteem as busted as your radiator? Do you catch on fire like a Samsung Note 7 at 32,000 feet? Or do you suck it up like lemon seeds at the bottom of grandma's lemonade?
This guy was certainly not the latter....
This guy was certainly not the latter....
I've gotten to the point where rejection from guys is the least of my worries. Rejection from jobs of my dreams, rejection from buttoning my favorite Levi's, rejection from a sold out show, and rejection from the gate when boarding closes 15 minutes before takeoff when you thought it was 10 are FAR more of a travesty. It's all about frame of mind and honey, mine is now bedazzled!
Gosh, I love this quote! My other favorite quote about arrows is something to the effect of:
You are an arrow; when life pulls you back, it's only to launch you into greatness.
Bacon Bourbon Brittle .... that you have to "break-down" as part of the recipe.
1 stick salted butter
1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup real maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup cooked, crumbled bacon (not bacon bit shit lol)
2 ounces bourbon (1 for mixing and 1 for shooting)
1 cup packed brown sugar
3/4 cup real maple syrup
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup cooked, crumbled bacon (not bacon bit shit lol)
2 ounces bourbon (1 for mixing and 1 for shooting)
- Add butter to a 2 quart, heavy bottomed pot over medium heat.
- Once the butter has melted, stir in the brown sugar and maple syrup.
- Bring this mixture to a boil, then let simmer for 10-15 minutes until a candy thermometer reads 300 degrees.
- Once mixture is at 300 degrees, turn the heat off and carefully add the baking soda and stir. The mixture will bubble up when you add the baking soda so stir quickly.
- Next add the bourbon and stir quickly again. This is a prime time to take your shot; cheers!
- Pour onto sprayed baking sheet and spread out into and even layer that’s about 1/4 inch thick.
- Add bacon bits to the top of the brittle while it’s still warm.
- Let the brittle cool for about an hour, then break it apart into pieces.
This guy made a vow but is now finding peace messaging someone else... that someone, being me, brings immense guilt.
Do you know how hard it was to tell my best friend of 14 years that she is on the verge of alcoholism? It was AS hard as breaking off an engagement, but I did it. If things are that trying in your relationship, you've got to set that other person free before hindering them further.
Yeah. I think things can sometimes deteriorate and change a perspective. Sometimes it comes down to when you feel you gave up on someone. That's exactly what I asked this wandering gentleman.
Do you know how hard it was to tell my best friend of 14 years that she is on the verge of alcoholism? It was AS hard as breaking off an engagement, but I did it. If things are that trying in your relationship, you've got to set that other person free before hindering them further.
Yeah. I think things can sometimes deteriorate and change a perspective. Sometimes it comes down to when you feel you gave up on someone. That's exactly what I asked this wandering gentleman.
Terk says it best, Dates and Cakes OFFICIALLY has a vlog! Not only do you continue to receive outlandish but non-fiction dating stories from the bubbly, punny, and gutsy gypsy, BUT you get to see her live and in color with all her hand gestures, eye rolls, and cackles (at her own jokes) free of charge!
You can't even get a scoop of sour cream free of charge! Do you know what Steph could do with a scoop of sour cream? Put it in a cheesecake, probably....
This Youtube thing is certainly a learn-as-you-go kind of thing because although my year of birth classifies me as a Millennial..... technology isn't my go to. Actually, this blog started out as scribbles in journals. Yes, red margin, black lined journals; bounded with potential for venting, humor and self-actualization. I know presently, it's a trendy thing to say you're "an old soul" but... I still write friends letters or thank you notes by hand and write 90% of my poetry with a swift pen to paper motion. Okay fine-- sometimes I use thin markers because I want to really capture imagery in a certain piece.... but you get my jest. And I think spending time away from a screen gives you zest you may have been missing from your life (as a text notification blinks like grandma's blinker she was unaware has been clicking for 3 intersections now).
So, you may have heard of "please excuse my dear aunt sally" in math for order of operations, but since I'm notorious for spicing or sugaring things up, I'm going to ask you to excuse your dear Steph for her poor editing skills. The videos may seem a little chop-suey.... because they are. I'm sure I'll get better if I just believe! But I'm striving to record each one as natural as possible so it enhances the genuine factor. This world is polluted with edited moments, faces, and perceptions, so I refuse to add to it. As always, these will continue to be about actual dates that happened to me or in the rare occasion, a friend shares a wild date.
So, you may have heard of "please excuse my dear aunt sally" in math for order of operations, but since I'm notorious for spicing or sugaring things up, I'm going to ask you to excuse your dear Steph for her poor editing skills. The videos may seem a little chop-suey.... because they are. I'm sure I'll get better if I just believe! But I'm striving to record each one as natural as possible so it enhances the genuine factor. This world is polluted with edited moments, faces, and perceptions, so I refuse to add to it. As always, these will continue to be about actual dates that happened to me or in the rare occasion, a friend shares a wild date.
I know what you're thinking, "Steph could never pull off being a blonde." WELL YOU KNOW WHAT!?! You're right.
So, here's the link (182) to check it out for yourself.
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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