Sorry for the hold up- WOAH THERE! I was busy dodging the bouquet at my beautiful cousin's wedding in Austin this weekend. No, for cereal though. There's pictures of my sister and I waiting until the flower bundle whizzed through the air until we "backed it up now y'all." I actually took some of the advice and heeded warning from the 60 responses I gathered from this poll series to avoid picking up a bad boy on my trip.... mission accomplished... this time. I'm a super visual person *moves hands in expression* and felt like this stellar bad boys series needs a conclusion with colors and Excel. #nerd #herecomethecharts #heheSNORThehe Obviously, this song defeats the purpose of this 4-part series but, I found it mildly appropriate and partially catchy.I've learned so much about the people that allowed me to interrupt their world to answer my little questions. They may not know it yet, but it has effected me in a big way. Thanks y'all.... from the bottom of my heart <3 And thanks for the new fans... if you're still there ;)) As for the day-ones.... We've been through a lotttttt of recipes and even more guys. Wish I could send you a care package of the greatest hits.... Hits to my self-esteem and waistline of course ;)) We've learned a bit in 360 posts!! EEEEEEE here's to 360 more! (It goes without saying that I have a drink handy for toasting ;) Now, compare this to the male perspective. I found this incredibly fascinating because guys were much quicker to respond and more of them offered responses. Was your quote one of the leading responses? Has your perception been altered? I still stand by mine... or rather, lounge by mine on the beach, doused in sunscreen and sand.Also, let the record show that while doing this poll, I received two comments confirming that these guys were indeed bad guys and a picture of a guy with a hard-on in his boxers. Don't worry, I'm going to spare you the visual. I wish I could spare myself! Another sent me a selfie of him shirtless and his bed saying that he was bored. People are unbelievable.
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A continuation of why girls, the really great girls, fall for bad boys....Are we imprisoned by their edgy look and questionable ambition.... or is it something deeper?"Bad boys are genetically more fun. Who wants to follow the rules? There's just something so much more appealing to me. They dress better, they have a sleeve of tattoos, and if you're lucky, a motorcycle. My mom and sister said they too would love states for my current bad boy. Bad boys are naturally players and of your psyche, your ID is narcissistic, so these boys feed that sense of self. If you get the bad boy, you feel like the girl next door. " "I was heartbroken and he gave me enough attention and kind of made me feel like I was needed. Even though on you, deep down. It wouldn't go anywhere. I was in a place where he fit the bill. The one time I didn't want something long-term." Your standards aren't even there and you were needing somebody and they were there." " I was much younger than I am now and much less experience than I am now when these bad boys made their way into my life. I was such a good girl and a good girl wants a bad boy. I was 16 and he was a bad boy and all his friends were and I just felt safe and secure around him. They are kind of a forbidden fruit that you have to have. He was such a douche and I never really got it got what I wanted, but I kept going after it anyway. He was a nice guy but his lifestyle made him bad." I LOVED how genuine these responses were from the dozens of girls I polled. Some of their perspectives really hit me in the gut. It made me realize... there's another vantage point completely neglected....It's a man's world (still...don't get me started. I'll sit down...for now), so let's get a man's perspective on why the grandest of girls go for the baddest of boys."Honestly I think because they don’t know what it’s like to be treated by a guy that has good intentions." "Either she really really cares and loves him no matter or doesn't believe anyone that he is a bad guy at all.... and I couldn't tell you why girls like that stuff. " "Bc good guys are boring and having something to fix is easy to confuse with someone to build." "Girls like danger. A guy with an edge to him will always get the girl over a guy who is perceived to be boring." "I would say it stems from insecurities." "It’s an ego thing, people want what they can’t have. They try and Change people. I feel like a lot has to deal with perception and how we were raised.Love languages are important and I feel like personality traits play a part also." "Usually it's because at first they make them feel secure and loved and over time the guy tends to forget that he still needs to show love and stops and sees the girl is still with him even though he's a dick . He gets a taste of that and has no reason to change . The girl stays with him because she thinks deep down inside he will change." "Good guys are boring." "Eventually yes, they go for the “bad” guy. Whether that means he’s a jerk or just a style or how he treats her or just not Mr. RightIn my personal experiences no one is ever really ready to find what they are actually looking forSo when they do they sabotage it and more often then not rebound or run back to what’s comfortable or safe, and even though on paper the nice guy seems like the safe choice relative to the bad boy, the nice guy is actually far more scary because he’s something to lose, he can hurt the girl worse than any bad boy ever couldI spent the last 2 years in an on and off relationship with my absolute soul mate. Over the course of the 2 years she ran 3 times. The first time she told me she loved me. When we started living together. And after she asked me to go ring shopping and we picked out a ring and put money down on it.Each time lead to a panic attack, freak out, anxiety whateverShe’ll always come back to me cuz she knows I’m the guy for her, but when she gets everything she’s ever wanted she loses control, has something to lose, is vulnerableSo more often then not in our swipe first, fuck second, feelings later society when people find the right one (guys or girls) they find a way to sabotage itAnd then it compounds because everyone gets sick of being the one getting hurt. I went and did the rebound thing after the last time we split up and I’m sure I hurt some feelings in the process (even though I was 100% transparent).A nice guy isn’t gonna give you a reason to leave, he’s gonna treat you right and what if you get scared? What if you’re not ready for forever? Then what?" "In my opinion I’d have to say it’s some sort of thrill. Possibly connected to some sort of childhood trauma if you will. But if someone believes that all of their partners are bad then they will constantly seek out bad partners to justify their thinking." "Well first off im 1 of the good ones 😂 but always wondered the same thing and why its always the really really good looking girls that seem to have it all that go for that type of guy. The girl i am currently seeing almost 2 months now yaaay go me 😂 u do chat about past relationships and things and she had been with ex's in the past shall we say none of them good... and she knew that going into those relationships and i asked why would any girl do that to herself if she knows the guy is no good will cheat, use, or abuse or whatever... she said she thinks girls like that that go for guys like that want that kind of a 'project' challenge whatever u wanna call it and be the girl to make that guy change for her... make of that what u may 🤔🤔🤔🙄🙄🙄 its a mystery that may never be solved... bad boys will always be popular and not going out of fashion anytime soon 😂" "I believe girls tend to fall for bad guys because they might feel like they have an exclusive ticket to being a part of the “bad guy’s” emotional and loving side. Everyone loves having access to something that is rare and I feel like it’s the same deal with girls and “bad guys”, they get to see their emotional side." "It goes back to prehistoric times then women choose on how big and strong as well as how many wives and children he has as the bigger the family the better the chance ofsuccess when hunting for food this attraction is still in women's DNA." " I guess it’s exciting maybe?" "Personally I think woman get bored; they want excitement. They always think of what could be more and never wanna settle for good. Good isn’t good enough they need change something different something dangerous something to excite them." "It's actually kind of simple; they think the good guys are boring. I mean if a good guy gets up goes to work at a good job where he can sustain a future he doesnt have time to devote every waking moment to someone and bad guys have made women so insecure and other women and their hoeish tendencies help create more insecurities that if he is 10 mins later than normal coming in from work because he stayed later she is going to wonder what he is doing or who he is with. Plus a bad guys will give a false sense of security every woman wants to feel safe and a good guy doesn't give them that because it goes back to they feel they are boring because they don't push the envelope or have friends they shouldn't hangout with because they know they can get in trouble and potentially mess up their career and goals. Good guys do end up getting a good girl in the end because a real woman falls for a good man while girls fall for the bad boy." There's a handful of lovely quotes still to be shared... catch ya on the flip side #sunnyside^This is Where It Gets Good... PART 3 I quote the "inspired by me" because, well, it was a quote-- but further more, I do so because I find it more than perplexing when these guys are inspired or enlightened or taken with me. This especially is the case when it occurs prior to date 3. I'm a pretty stellar person BUT, I'm not all that and a bag of potato chips. So, although this was a nice gesture, it freaked me out a bit.
Well, mama didn't raise a quitter and after all, his heart was in the right place even if he came on Arnold Schwarzenegger strong. He respected my body and hesitancies, so I proceeded with our fling. One thing I noted in post number 1 of this series was that he downloaded Snapchat for the sole reason that I thoroughly enjoyed it and frequently use it. This should have been a warning sign. The last guy that downloaded Snapchat for the exact same reason used it against me; the time and nature of my posts were instrumental in tracking my whereabouts and dispelling my excuses for "not being on my phone." A couple days after the wood gift he dropped off briefly after calling to see if he could drop by, I went out on another local's impromptu brewery tour and posted a few snaps portraying the cool places or beers. Ever since I visited Michigan to visit my long-term ex in 2015, I've been in LOVE with craft beers and breweries. While enjoying the drinks and snapping moments from this particular night in Pensacola, I didn't know I was opening the door for a drop-in visitor. Mr. Woodstock told me the very next morning that he almost came out to the breweries I was at, but decided he didn't want to intrude on my plans. WHAT!? Who does that? Drive-by-shootings aren't just hazardous in the hood! Then, we still had a whole night of a date we had established a week ago. I kind of finagled my best friend into our plans and we headed to the art fest, the three of us: the three amigos, the three musketeers-- more like the three blind mice! We continued the night with great conversation and proceeded to the piano bar. That's where he introduced me to one of his friends and implied I was his girlfriend... "Hi, nice to meet you! Is this your girlfriend?" His friend stated. Mr. Woodstock responded, "well ye--" "No," I said more curtly than I intended. This drunk girl, moments later broke into laughter and pulled my best friend and I aside after him and I shared a kiss. "Is that your first kiss? First date?" She blurted. My eyes met hers and I could only gather, "Umm.... No." My best friend rolled her eyes and the drunk girl had her answer. She cackled all the way home....err back to her boyfriend. ... I got sick later that night and he offered to come lay by me. I reminded him, my best friend and I were sharing a one bedroom, hence one bed. Then he offered to just sleep on the floor and play with my hair or pat my back to console me. Without hesitation, I declined. The next day, Easter morning, I went to brunch with my best friend and posted this on Snapchat. There's no time stamp or location stamp, but if you look closer, the drinks we're holding disclosed our location since they're very discernible glasses. Then, he showed up.Although it could totally be a coincidence he showed up at the same bar we were having brunch after admitting he almost showed up to my brewery tour, this was the last straw.Presently, I'm in an exit clause phase. There always has to be a visible exit-- an out. In this interaction, I no longer see that as a viable option. I'm currently in a sales position which has reasonable turnover rate, am in a month-to-month lease, and a mattress is my sole piece of furniture; I'm not looking to be contained. If need be, I can tetris what I can in my little, bitty Honda and drive off into the sunset. I'm not saying I will.... but the option is there.
Back in the states and back with a vengeancehere's nothing more satisfying than running into an ex fling and watching glimpses of regret on their face when they look at you. This beautiful reality boosted my confidence a few weeks ago when I stood in a wedding that an ex-fling also stood in. Our fling started and ended at the beginning of last year in which, he informed me that he was really busy but will definitely see me at the wedding. He broke this news to me that he would not see me before the wedding, a year and a month's time, before the wedding of our two friends. To add insult to injury, the setting of this conversation, was in a hotel shower off the property of Disney World. There's so many things wrong with that statement. In the shower? I feel like I'm being interrogated by Elle Woods Although I'm sure I should hold a lot of blame, since I saw the red flags, but followed them right to the happiest place on earth... but trust me, no one deserves to hear any kind of bad news in the shower. Your hamster dying, favorite series being canceled, or flavor of latte being discontinued can wait until your feet have hit the cold floor. I should've taken the soap with me wheni got out and drove off (since the were 1 whole day left on our trip). But, like Stephanie was reared to, I endured instead of enjoyed. So, I returned to Charleston and he returned to Fort Worth after our magical trip. He began the art of ghosting me, so I called him and demanded closure. I know, I know. How was alluding to the fact that he didn't want to see me for a year not enough? Idk. Im a female; I plead the 5th of whiskey. While pacing the floor, with his familiar voice on the other line, I was ill-prepared for what was to come. Not only did he make things clear, he took it a step further. He told me he knew I was going to contort this into some pathetic story for my blog and that I should just give up the writing thing because it's not like it's going to take me anywhere. The percentages of a female writer making it is that of a high school athlete making it to the pros. Oh. OH! YOU'RE GONNA HIT ME WITH PERCENTAGES NOW? YOU'RE A NUMBERS BOY! What gives anyone the right to attack someone's dreams? Dream Crusher. I may never know the answer to that question. But what I do know, is the way he looked at me at that wedding, when I was all dolled up and in a beautiful lace bridesmaid dress with my makeup and hair done for me like a diva. I looked like that and he looked like regret. Not because of the suit or anything of that nature, just his stance and eyes that only showed flashes of sadness. Obviously, I tried to avert my eyes at all cost. But there were a couple times my eyes looks that way and met his oh, ever so briefly. Since the bride was a friend of mine since the first day of high school, I was well acquainted with her parents, her cousins, and even a couple aunts and uncles. I was yukking it up with everyone and naturally made my way to the dance floor with the other bridesmaids and the cute little kids in their Sunday's best. And homeboy sat in the corner on his phone. Bobbing his head up every once in awhile to check my location on the Dance Floor. There was even a really cute guy in the buffet line that sparked up a conversation; I just looked up and he introduced himself and later told me it was meeting me. But, he left the wedding early so didn't amount to anything nor did it need to. It's not like I live in the state anyway, but it was not awkward and a slight boost to my confidence. Enjoying the night not catching the bouquet and possibly standing as "one that got away," I beamed into the night. This guy has earned at least 3 blog posts back in March or April, so... Mr. Red Velvet Cake has a recipe to be sauced up. He was the infamous Mr. Disney that took me to Magic Kingdom for our first date and earned the artificial dyed cake. This time, he deserves white chocolate chips falling short of chocolate.Quite frankly, they don't even deserve the name of chocolate since they're only made of cocoa butter, lard, and sugar.
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Return with a Vengeance and a Plot Twist.... Click on "Sequel" to see two of the prior posts he earned. All All caught up? Okay! This guy's timeline is absurd as far as our dating encounters are concerned.
Mind you, this is NOT the first bisexual guy I've talked to. This is no slight to those that identify as bisexual, but it's not really something I've ever been able to wrap my head around. If you like girls, then hunt for double d's, hourglass shame, hormonal woah-man. If you like dudes, hunt for chiseled or grizzly, deep voice or accented, and masculine men. If you like both... pick a team! Flip a coin if you're that indecisive, but I'll never understand swinging on both sides of the swing-set. I don't thing that's a saying but, how many sides do you swing on? Ha HA! I might be onto something, besides dick-loving dudes. Do not be deceived by its colorful form; this is an ordinary cheesecake. Regardless of how you swirl it, how you mix it, or how much artificial dye you add to the batter, two things will remain the same: |
AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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