Ever run into a Team Ron VS. Team Harry situation in real life? Both cut from a different cloth One steamed milk, the other froth One a dreamer with a shadow past The other, a marriage failed to last One currently has month to month lease The other owns a two-story piece Traveling weekly for rodeo videography Other manages house-building geography One comes recommended from a friend Other connected once clicking send One possesses qualities impossible to find The other's eyes and lips breathe "you're fine" The other has established his place in my books In pursuit of my heart, is possibly one of the crooks He's in the process of stealing it with no fight From the girl in dusk still possessing light Both their eyes convey sheer attraction And evoke quite a unique reaction The two described are contenders For my attention and affection tender Both speak sweet and hold me just right But one possesses a danger element plight Although the contest has hardly begun, My heart already selected "one." Regardless of the winner,
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Dating critiques have much to say about Millennial and our shallow dating encounters. They could fill encyclopedias with impatience for "the real thing" and our playing the field instead of investing in one romantic find. They'll pile high our dependency on technology and our fear of being alone yet, are we the only ones that have engaged in a little dating around? |
Yes, you read that correctly. I saw the white ass of virtually my first boss ever while driving. I'm surprised that's not an offence: indecency while driving, distracting and reckless , moonlighting.... the ideas may never "end."
Needless to say, I was one of the lucky favorites. Everyone has one...and typically if you don't believe that, you're not necessarily the favorite. ... just saying from cold experience. Well, another one of the favorites also happens to be a character you've been introduced to in the "Best Friend Nano Series." Tiffany was another favorite at our first job, where we met 14 years ago. I think I have a tear in my eye.
Aside from receiving a biweekly paycheck at a whopping $5.25 an hour, Tiffany and I being practically adopted into our boss' family. Another thing, less scaring, but just as impressionable than the mooning, was her dating history she shared briefly with us.
I remember it like it was yesterday....
God help me if that was true! I don't know what I wore, how many people I called on the phone, or if I had breakfast yesterday. #68yearoldina28yearoldsbody
She said, "Before I met my husband, [bobo hobo], I used to go out with ALLLL KINDSSSS OF BOYS. I would kiss 'em and then dump 'em. People at school started calling me the dump truck."
I actually haven't thought of that story until now, because I was reflecting on my endless lists of dates and flavors of the week that have come and gone last night in the shower. That's where I get a lot of my thinking and American Idol singing done-- the acoustics are quite suitable for my vocal cords-- and the lighting and free fog with no machine needed.
I remembered that a sweet, silly, successful woman was in a similar position I am in her 20's and sometimes, that's okay. Not that I needed reassurance because anyone that knows me, knows I do what I want BUT, it was kind of nice reminisce about a woman whom I forgot affected my life at 16 and have her affect my life again at 28.
It's easy to let the past be overshadowed by the future, especially if you have big plans (which I pray you do). But, I think the past is upmost significant because it built and bridged you to "here." And "here" is always temporary, so I want to savor it. I must remember to, as should you.
Here and now, I can relate to my boss, the mooner and the artist formerly known as pr-- I mean, "dump truck." My next here, I may be relating to my successful, licensed best friend back home whom saves children every day or even my grandmother whom always believed "someone had it worse" and refused to let complaints taint her little peach lips.
Here in singleness, I'll continue to cultivate sweetness- Dig. In.
Dirt Dessert is the most grounding sweet finish
for any "dump truck"
Sometimes your suitor is crazy and all together villainous, pudding. Grab yourself a box of Oreo or chocolate instant pudding. You'll need cold milk to follow the directions like a good psycho.
Like love's layers, this dessert is arranged as such: pudding, oreos, then worms. Hope you dig it.
On pins and needles, nails and nails.....
The conversation went like any other that I had a noticeable spark with. Flirting, smiling, laughter to follow. He wasn't necessarily my type, but the more guys I date, the more I wonder if I even have one. He was tall and thin with buzzed hair and a military past. It's hard to avoid those in such a port city with three different branches housed there.
Upon scheduling our first date, I decided a trip to Myrtle Beach was a two for one. A way to be a tourist in a nearby city, while enjoying the new flavor of the week's company and doing tourist things together. He was pleased that I was making the effort and we scheduled a date.
Upon discussing my upcoming day trip with Tiffany (my local best friend), glancing at his picture, she said she knew him. I shouldn't be surprised with a pretty girl on practically every dating site for 100 miles of our current home, that we would have some of the same guys in common.. But I can't say it didn't bother me. I asked her the result and she said she couldn't remember, but she ended up blocking him. That was my bat signal in the sky, my Joker card, Penguin's umbrella spinning... But did I listen? Of course not.
Maybe I liked the villain side, or maybe it was something I couldn't quite put my finger on, like denial. What of course not! Absolutely not! How could you say that! Haha.
I asked him about it and he was very casual. Stated something along the lines of, she stopped talking to him and just faded away. A
And I said, she doesn't usually block people that phase themselves out.
He suavely changed the subject and eventually, our calendar date arrived.
Conversation flowed just like it did through phone lines and enjoyment was ours. From there, we walked to Margaritaville and tanked a few frozen concoctions. We talked sports with the bartender and talked about our perspective futures. He was kind of dry for my taste, but the activities we were doing were at enticing enough so we continued. We continued on to feed fish under the Boardwalk as they feasted like Thanksgiving families.
Then, we made our way to Wonderworks fun house. In previous trips to Myrtle, I was informed that this place was for children, but he reassured me and we walked inside. I disagree with the rumor that it's just for kids... Then again, you're talking to a girl who was raised 10 minutes from Disney World and 15 from Universal Studios. You're also talking to a girl that has her room decor Buzz Lightyear and the gang, along with the darker side of the Joker. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself.
We did puzzles, blew bubbles, read posters, dominated at laser tag, peddled Topsy-Turvy bicycles, and even harnessed up for a ropes course, that by far, was my favorite. At new heights with my date, it was revealed to me that the reason Tiffany blocked him, was because he got mad that she stopped talking to him. I inquired what kind of retaliation he had to that fact and I was less than pleased.
Actually, I do recall one other time that was quite humorous why she blocked a guy... It was because she was hella hung over and sent me a video of her saying something about how crazy the night prior was and instead of sending it to me, she sent that video of her looking less-than-dazzling, to this hot guy on her Snapchat. She blocked him immediately, because she felt she had doomed herself. We still snicker and milkyway about that.
While I was tempted to push him off the ropes course, I remembered the harness would have kept him and the whole hostility gesture would have been moot. We left the Adventure Park or museum for children or whatever you want to call it, and walked back to our cars. He went in for a hug and just a hug, which I could not have thanked my lucky stars more. And we split paths.
I returned to Charleston, he returned to sending dick pics to girls that found him annoying or lost interest. I guess my day playing tourist was mostly worth it. The moral of the story is: you can't trust the system, man. Also I'm an adult, and I don't need to be dating a child. In case you haven't had enough Lonely Island:
I totally forgot about this story until season discussions of Thanksgiving today earlier this week with my coworkers. I went home-home, to New Orleans last year to celebrate Thanksgiving with both sides of my family: the Irish Channel Westbankers and the Bucktown Eastbankers (of the Mississippi, of course). After eating enough to feed all the section 8 housing in the NOLA projects, I wobbled my way over to the airport to return to reality. On the flight home, we had a FOUR HOUR delay, so a minor inconvenience. Which caused more than half of the passengers to miss our connecting flights. The airline offered meal vouchers in the airport and free drinks on the flight. Well you KNOW my ears perked up like Dumbo learning they're making a live action film about him. All the passengers were a little bit antsy, since we had a four hour delay on the last night of a long weekend. Sunday at approximately 11 p.m. is when our flight finally took off. I was seated next to a middle-aged gentleman who was dressed to the nines. Suit and all, he smiled politely and we started our flight in silence. I can't quite remember who initiated the conversation first, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was me. We began talking about our careers and his ex-wife's that was similar to mine. We talked about the delay and our Thanksgiving holiday and music we fancied. Then the drink cart graced our presence. I would have preferred the snack trolley on Hogwarts Express but, these Muggles don't understand magical treats. Our flight attendant apologized for the extreme inconvenience of the delay and the fact that we would have to stay overnight in Charlotte. Offering us any drink on her cart, immediately there was one song that came to mind. |
Politely declining his offer, I was apparently too nice, because then he requested my phone number. Luckily, the plane touched down (6 points) and the passengers eagerly exited the plane.
We made our way to the hotel shuttles, which ensured he sat next to me. Continued casual conversation and then arrange the Wake Up Call with the driver at 5 a.m. sharp. He made one more attempt to hang out, but I dismissed it simply saying,
"see you in a couple hours."
The next morning, or should I say 2 hours and 45 minutes later, I arrived at the shuttle with two other passengers, one of which not being this gentleman. Boarded my flight, made it to the connector, and was 3 hours late to work. To this day I still don't know if he ever made it home. Poor little chap. But hey, I got drunk on a plane.
Here's his "plane" cake
2 cups granulated sugar, divided
4 extra-large eggs, at room temperature
3 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon kosher salt
3/4 cup buttermilk, at room temperature
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Directions
- Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Grease and flour 2 (8 1/2 by 4 1/2 by 2 1/2-inch) loaf pans. Line the bottoms with parchment paper.
- Cream the butter and granulated sugar in the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment for about 5 minutes, or until light and fluffy. With the mixer on medium speed, beat in the eggs, 1 at a time.
- In a large bowl, sift together the flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. In another bowl, combine the buttermilk and vanilla. Add the flour and buttermilk mixtures alternately to the batter, beginning and ending with the flour. Divide the batter evenly between the pans, smooth the tops, and bake for 45 minutes to 1 hour
Bet you didn't see that cumming ;)
https://www.betterthansexdesserts.com/menus/
Reservations anyone?
I'm all for problem-solving to keep your relationship exciting... especially in this "throw away society." When something is broken or has the opportunity To be upgraded, many individuals make a mad dash at the opportunity. Instead of adding to your endurance or stretching out your patients a bit with the gold you already have.
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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