On pins and needles, nails and nails..... He was looking for a wife and I was looking for a way out. He lived in a vacation destination, much like mine, and was barely over a hundred miles away. The conversation went like any other that I had a noticeable spark with. Flirting, smiling, laughter to follow. He wasn't necessarily my type, but the more guys I date, the more I wonder if I even have one. He was tall and thin with buzzed hair and a military past. It's hard to avoid those in such a port city with three different branches housed there. Upon scheduling our first date, I decided a trip to Myrtle Beach was a two for one. A way to be a tourist in a nearby city, while enjoying the new flavor of the week's company and doing tourist things together. He was pleased that I was making the effort and we scheduled a date. Upon discussing my upcoming day trip with Tiffany (my local best friend), glancing at his picture, she said she knew him. I shouldn't be surprised with a pretty girl on practically every dating site for 100 miles of our current home, that we would have some of the same guys in common.. But I can't say it didn't bother me. I asked her the result and she said she couldn't remember, but she ended up blocking him. That was my bat signal in the sky, my Joker card, Penguin's umbrella spinning... But did I listen? Of course not. Maybe I liked the villain side, or maybe it was something I couldn't quite put my finger on, like denial. What of course not! Absolutely not! How could you say that! Haha. I asked him about it and he was very casual. Stated something along the lines of, she stopped talking to him and just faded away. A And I said, she doesn't usually block people that phase themselves out. He suavely changed the subject and eventually, our calendar date arrived. I met him outside of Walburgers, the delicious burger place by the notorious Mark Wahlburger and family. I could tell by the way he looked at me, he wasn't impressed with my looks. Which was frustrating, because boy was not a 10 by any stretch of the imagination. He had that military edge (not to be mistaken with chiseled) and kind of a goofy grin. Which is fine... I just have never been the type of girl that "likes [or needs] a man in uniform." Conversation flowed just like it did through phone lines and enjoyment was ours. From there, we walked to Margaritaville and tanked a few frozen concoctions. We talked sports with the bartender and talked about our perspective futures. He was kind of dry for my taste, but the activities we were doing were at enticing enough so we continued. We continued on to feed fish under the Boardwalk as they feasted like Thanksgiving families. Then, we made our way to Wonderworks fun house. In previous trips to Myrtle, I was informed that this place was for children, but he reassured me and we walked inside. I disagree with the rumor that it's just for kids... Then again, you're talking to a girl who was raised 10 minutes from Disney World and 15 from Universal Studios. You're also talking to a girl that has her room decor Buzz Lightyear and the gang, along with the darker side of the Joker. Nonetheless, I enjoyed myself. We did puzzles, blew bubbles, read posters, dominated at laser tag, peddled Topsy-Turvy bicycles, and even harnessed up for a ropes course, that by far, was my favorite. At new heights with my date, it was revealed to me that the reason Tiffany blocked him, was because he got mad that she stopped talking to him. I inquired what kind of retaliation he had to that fact and I was less than pleased. It was his dick in a box. Okay okay, it wasn't in a box, but still. That was the inkling I had all along because, unless a guy overly annoys her or send her a dick pic, that's the only time she tends to block them. Actually, I do recall one other time that was quite humorous why she blocked a guy... It was because she was hella hung over and sent me a video of her saying something about how crazy the night prior was and instead of sending it to me, she sent that video of her looking less-than-dazzling, to this hot guy on her Snapchat. She blocked him immediately, because she felt she had doomed herself. We still snicker and milkyway about that. While I was tempted to push him off the ropes course, I remembered the harness would have kept him and the whole hostility gesture would have been moot. We left the Adventure Park or museum for children or whatever you want to call it, and walked back to our cars. He went in for a hug and just a hug, which I could not have thanked my lucky stars more. And we split paths. I returned to Charleston, he returned to sending dick pics to girls that found him annoying or lost interest. I guess my day playing tourist was mostly worth it. The moral of the story is: you can't trust the system, man. Also I'm an adult, and I don't need to be dating a child. In case you haven't had enough Lonely Island: This date dessert requires very little effort. I decided to light his lights course up. "Light em up up uppppp. He'll be on FiReEeeE!"
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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