Reflecting over my past dating experiences of 2017 and absorbing the stories of friends and acquaintances that have also experienced swing-and-miss relationships, I've come to the conclusion that there's a different category of daters that isn't really talked about. Sure, we've heard of the ghosters, the haunters, the serial daters, and even the fuckboys but no one has ever talked about the in-towners. I've coined this term, so go with me here. In-towers are people that when you're physically with them on a date or hanging out, things are fantastic! Conversation is fluid, flirting is cute and engaging, and the kisses are perfect. That's when the person is quote-unquote in-town. Now when they are not around the person they are seeking, it all goes dark. You hardly hear from them, they take hours to respond your text messages, they seem less than intrigued by your humor, wit, or any other thing that used to captivate them. After a couple attempts, you're able to schedule another face-to-face and at that date, everything is the way it was before: laughing, kissing, overall enjoyment. You could see this as a real thing. The train isn't necessarily at relationship station, but it's making great time on the track to it. Alas, almost at the very moment that date ends, silence falls again. There's no good morning texts, no goodnight texts, but you wouldn't be too hard-pressed for a drunk text. Oh boy (hence sarcasm). You know the enjoyment at the date was not one-sided so you're left scratching your head of why and what to do now. The answer is simple but the execution is not. End it. Unless you're content with the popular "yolo" or "it is what it is" culture, you're going no where fast with this person. Let's face it— they're not going to end it nor do they exhibit enough interest to initiate anything aside from occasionally accepting your proposal. They're not engaged until they have to be ie. the face to face meeting, hangout, hookup, date, trip... whatever it is you want to do together. They are only with you when they're with you. They don't do this to hurt you; they don't care enough to hurt you because they're numb for some reason unknown to you. Break-up, unresolved grief, daddy issues, hung up on their ex, fighting an addiction, miserable in their social life... this list goes on but you'll never be on it nor will the list be revealed to you. How do I know this? Where did I even get such an idea that people could be this selfish? I have been guilty of this dating technique... probably as many times as it's happen to me. We're not going to do the math here (carry the one) but, just be weary this is a growing dating tend and protect what you need to when you stumble upon an in-towner. In-towers thrive on convenience. If it doesn't come naturally, they won't exert any unnecessary effort or energy.Warning signs you're dating or "talking to" an in-towner:
Granola bars are the appropriate choice of daring desserts since these daters are always on the go. Quick and satisfying (for now) is their primary goal. Sometimes they are so lackadaisical, they don't pay much mind to goals or plans.
In-Towners are comprised of:
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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