When someone buys you a drink, apparently you owe them something.... This somewhat of a golden rule for liquor licensed establishments, smacked me in the face last night when my best friend’s date offered to buy my drink. I was surprised and chalked it up to him trying to schmooze the best friend for extra brownie points. Well, I do enjoy me a good brownie, so I accepted humbly and thankfully. As the night progressed, it turned into three and then four drinks. Every time, he also purchased my best friend one, so I was just thrilled that aside from the club’s cover, I didn’t have to spend a dime. Well, even in this case, the free drink clause applied. The first and second drinks were placed on the bar for us three amigos (her date standing between us). I was grateful, she teased, “you didn’t have to do that” and with a smile, she kissed him both times. The third drink was where my suspicion was aroused. Our position had changed to a different room of the bar creatively called “The Boom-Boom Room.” Foreshadowing? Gosh, I hope not. He returned to our huddle, adjacent to the dance floor and the stage with only two drinks. I shrugged to myself, well, it was fun while it lasted. He entrusted her with a midnight liquid over ice cubes and then moved towards the space behind me to make it to the left side of my shoulder. Now positioned almost directly behind me, he handed the lighter drink with floating lime slices to me with his left, while concurrently placing his right hand on my left butt-cheek. The cotton dress was a thin barrier between his long fingers and my ass. WOAH! Swatting his hand instantly, he nonchalantly returned it to my left hip, at the cusp of my waist. Looking to my best friend for help, I realized from her vantage point, she couldn’t see his guilty right hand. Smiling that he bought me another drink since, she more than most, is aware of my tight money situation, she was oblivious to my gaping jaw. Maybe he’s drunk and that was an accident? I’m not one for public scenes, so I tried to write it off as I scooped his hand off my hip and took two subtle shuffles to the left (almost in unison with Ludicrous song blaring). Smiling, I demanded we dance, as I grabbed the blonde’s hand across from me, rescuing myself from any rude looks I was bound to fire his way. "Dude, he just grabbed my ass." In a drunken snicker she slurred, “Shh, what? He didn’t — I’m su-sure it was an accident.” Dismissing me, she finished dancing the Ying Yang Twins song with me, and returned to her date. Dancing alone, I tanked my drink and tried to enjoy myself. Drink number four was being ordered at the bar when my best friend was able to inform me of their conversation addressing this “slip of his hand.” "We talked about it and he didn’t mean too.” "But--." "Ladies,” her date smiled, holding again the same two opposing color drinks. Feeling a little sheepish to accept this one, I looked up and I’ll be damned if he did not do it AGAIN. Same cheek. Same hand. Same attempt to just move it to my waist. Putting the drink down, I maneuvered other drunk blockades to the dance floor without as much of a sound to the handsy date or the friend that wouldn’t believe me. Furious that even after me being visibly uncomfortable the first time AND after his date addressed it, he still felt entitled to a little squeeze, I had to remove myself from the situation before I spit or screamed or flipped a table. I’ve actually never done any of those in a public place but HEY, as a third wheel being groped may be an ideal time to start. Agitated that: 1. Accepting drinks from a date that’s not mine still applies to the free drink clause 2. My best friend is dating a Dicksbury Dough Boy and discredited my claim after 13 years of friendship 3.Apparently, the price of touching my assets is 3 vodka sodas with flimsy limes 4.She still took him home Moral of the story is… The drink clause always applies.INGREDIENTS
1 tube chocolate chip cookie dough 1 c. semisweet chocolate chips 2 tbsp. coconut oil (or butter) 1 part Baileys Irish Cream 1 part milk
2 Comments
Nick
1/14/2019 09:34:37 am
Your best friend picked another asshole? I’m shocked...SHOCKED I tell you!
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Stephanie Sap-fire
2/4/2019 05:02:08 am
Well, some people can't resist their "type" I suppose. I can only advise her against it, but girls are gonna do what they wanna do. sigh lol
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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