Literally.I'm not sure making avocado brownies with Nesquick is exactly what Theodore had in mind... but, hey! Girl's gotta eat and make the most of a situation that allegedly included "room and board: 3 meals a day."Currently, with no guys on my brain, I am able to return focus to my "date yourself" facade. NOT. I'm working on survival. I go to bed hungry almost every night and am told constantly by the mother that "that is for the kids," "no, that is glutton-free," "that is dairy-free," "you cannot have," and my favorite, "this-- this is e-special. Stephanie no have special." These are actual quotes with an accent as thick as tar and a look, well, equally as thick. I ate airplane cookies in my closet last night and a pear I found in my purse over my bathroom sink. Don't judge... it was juicy. Yes... that is what she said. But Stephanie, if their portions are small and their menus are restrictive, why don't you just buy your own food? Simple:
So... this means, Stephanie has never related to Tommy Pickles so much in her life.Okay! Not this one! The famous: "A baby's gotta do, what a baby's gotta do!" And while we're at it, I'll throw in, "Hold onto your diapies, babies!"So, I got bold and cooked up some creativity in their kitchen breaking more rules than I could count all while the dad was upstairs working from home. Brilliant. The sweet freak whom created Dates and Cakes has been dessert deprived. I bought 4 giant bars of Spanish chocolate and am almost have way through them. I need something of a little substance that I can sneak into my room. Challenge accepted. I set out to make.... we'll call them half-ass, half-sneaky brownies. I would in no mindset (drunk, drowsy, depressed, dashingly dolled up, or daring) recommend you baking this recipe unless you are Desperate. YES Alliteration for the win. But seriously... I'm sharing this recipe so you can see what a day in the life of an aupair in Spain is like when you're living with an OCD, glutton-free, seemingly wealthy but very tight with their funds (especially food and hygiene products), and slightly entitled family. They have a drawer of avocados, so I found the ripest one and scooped it into a bowl and did the monster mash. Then, dumped-- DUMPED Nesquick powder into it. This does two things: serves as both my cocoa AND my sugar. A little more sugar that I would have used but hey, desperate times call for a chocolaty bunny on a yellow canister. Then, I added something called vanilla salt, which I clumsily spilled all over the floor. After scrubbing so OCD parents wouldn't find a trace, I added a pat of butter, an egg, a squeeze of chocolate syrup I believe is for ice cream? And then I chopped 3 squares of extremely dark chocolate (of the 4 bars I bought). In a glutton-free household, you're hard pressed to find flour. Shoot! I need something-- anything! I searched high and low and was unsuccessful at finding baking soda or any derogative. I remembered the corn flakes the mom stated is the only cereal (of a total of 6 types of cereal) I was permitted to eat. Wowwwww, thanks! So, I crunched a handful of them right into my half-ass, half-sneaky brownie batter. Then, I grabbed their hand blender and began the grind. Always. Again, against rule #17 (I think...maybe 71), I preheated the oven and found 2 mini-silicone containers. I scrubbed everything and returned it to its proper place once finished. Also, I toasted a piece of bread and a tray of garbanzo beans for other foods to stash. I'm sure you're thinking, COME ON, dinner can't leave you THAT hungry. Are you that much of an Americanized chub? Some of the dinners are as follows. Each bullet is a different night:
Alas, I give you, avocado brownies. They're sub-par, but compared to my list above..... they are bronze! (gold would be a burger or a real brownie)Surprisingly.... they're actually not that bad! And yes, the one on the right was demolished moments after capturing this picture.#survivalmode #SurviveSpain2019 #sneakysteph #secretsweets #saveme #iwouldkillforasteak #sendmeat
1 Comment
Lauren
2/9/2019 10:51:45 pm
Did you make these before you found the nanny cams?! 😱 I’m so proud of you for doing the best you can in such a rough situation. ❤️
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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