I was dating this guy for a few weeks that every time he talked, I wanted to punch him in the face. You know the kind of person I’m talking about; they just hop on your nerves and refuse to get off. Some of his combination of words were dripping with arrogance, while others were politically incorrect. Overall, he just talked too much. And if I am saying that, you know it’s a problem; I could talk to a brick wall… on the regular. So naturally, this combination of him talking excessively and was obviously not a fair combination. Problem with severing this dating interaction was: his birthday was coming up. What kind of monster ends things before someone’s birthday? The Grinch? Well my heart was not three sizes too small so I bit my tongue. How could I not? He even said, "all I want for my birthday is some kisses from you." Line or not, I felt inclined to go bar hopping with him and his roommate. I didn't know this prior to arriving at the bar but his roommate unreasonably attractive! Wewwww! I need a moment to gather myself. *fans self* Okay, back to the Birthday Bison. So, he has a TON of allergies so it was quite tedious making him a birthday dessert so I dolled up, ubered downtown, and delivered his birthday treat and his kiss. His reaction was the most ungrateful, nerve-grinding thing I've experienced (I'm sure there's a couple others that have ticked me off but man.... gurrr). I'm sure you're thinking, "What? He just didn't say thank you?" I wish. He opened it, smelled it, and went on and ON for 5 minutes (I timed it) why he "wasn't a big fan of that kind of dessert" and "I'm kinda nervous to eat this because of my allergies." BITCH, I just gave you a present, made from scratch, sure not to kill you, and you can't even say thank you? You have to complain? COMPLAIN when someone does something nice for you? He had no couth! Any decent human being would stuff their opinion and throw it away when I wasn't looking but not Mr. Birthday Bison. He's as subtle as a bison in a bar.... and I don't mean on a wall. The fact that he didn't trust that I was extremely cautious about his allergies was just the chocolate syrup drizzled on top. That is the recipe I chose to depict this one as. He doesn't deserve a whole recipe-- besides, whatever dessert he encounters, he drizzles his opinion, disregarding the effect it'll have on the other desserts. Key lime pie- no care, he douses it. Blackberry Cobbler- pours it on Jello mold- doesn't mind if he does Angel food cake- lays it on thick Buttermilk pie- covers the surface Sauce it up! As if my gesture wasn't sweet enough, he felt it necessary to provide me an enumeration of why my dessert choice was not his favorite and why he would most likely not be partaking. His hott roommate though, grabbed a piece of it and devoured it in front of both of us. He had rave reviews... so guess it was just syrup boy.
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/210084/chocolate-syrup/
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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