This bartender didn’t give off the same skeezy vibe I’ve experienced with past guys in that profession so I gave him the “good ole college try.” He was polite and seemed to like me so I visited him at his bar. The smile that covered his face when I walked in was enough for me. Genuine, kind, and intrigued. He didn’t even show signs of jealousy when the guy next me kept hitting on me when my body language and my polite rejection were as disinterested as possible. Mr. Emotionally Inept just kept smiling at me from behind the bar and feeding me more shots. My wallet never left my purse. He even walked me to my car and kissed me when the clock struck 12. Hey— it was a work night, after all! Date number two was sushi, boy was on a roll! He picked me up, which is a seldom act of kindness offered by only the guys truly interested in locking something in: that may be just getting laid but at least they are determined and work for what they want. The other type of guys that offer to pick you up and are interested in locking something in are the guys genuinely into you and eager to see where this will go. He was the latter. He got my car door (more brownie points) and let me choose booth or table. Quite frankly, I would’ve interjected anyway… what I wouldn’t do for a booth! Okay… there’s actually quite a lot I wouldn’t do for a booth but it’s the principle of the matter. The conversation was a little strained but I thought maybe that was attributed to nerves. No, no. That indeed was not the case. The problem lied in his perspective of emotions. In conversation, he said, “ I don’t get why people let life get them so down sometimes.” I said a little of my piece because my last job I was a crisis counselor so emotions and empathy are two things I’m grossly in touch with. To my input, he inquired of my health status. Cocking an eyebrow, I though of my broken heart but then scanned my physical and reported a timid, “I guess…” Then the conversation shocked me like an electric current. “Do you have Cancer?” “Wh-wh- what?” “Do you have Cancer?” he persisted, leaning over the table closer to me . His facial expression made me strikingly uncomfortable. “N- nooo,” I stammered. Then he drove the conversation to the destination of suicide. I did NOT like where this was going… He boasted, ”as a war veteran, I’ve known dozens of guys that would’ve given anything to live and people that get sad just throw their life away.” I am still utterly appalled at his statement and shocked that I didn’t cause a scene. I said the following:
He tried to combat them with stories of his upbringing and how his parents never hugged him but, I was no longer engaged. We did NOT have a third date and it was quite surprising how hard he took it because I definitely wear my emotions on my sleeve and one would think if your opinion makes the other person visibly upset, it's likely they are not going to agree to a second date. For the hole that can't be filled, I baked a Butter Pecan Bundt Cake.
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2 Comments
Lauren
4/25/2018 09:14:56 pm
Comparing emotional pains never ends well and I hope he learned from this experience. :( I’m proud of you for standing up for what you believe in. ❤️❤️❤️
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Stephanie Sap-fire
4/25/2018 09:18:37 pm
thank you! gosh, I was appalled that's actually how he felt. I know I've never fought in war, but living with depression is facing a war every day. It's just a very different one. It's one you can't escape. You can't be honorably discharged. You can't finish your tour. You're trapped with a life sentence.
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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