This guy certainly knew how to put on a show. We have been talking for months on and off and one day, after leaving flirty comments on my most recent selfies, invited me to the ballet downtown. He was amazed that I had never been and said he would have would be delighted to take me. Shows up at my house with a dozen pink and orange roses and opened my car door. Things were off to a great start. I'm not saying I was blown away by any means but I certainly had a smile on my face. Chivalry is something I think every girl deserves and something a man's actions portrays usually quickly. We arrive downtown and he treated me like a princess at the ballet. The seats were three rows from the front, center aisle. He didn't even try the cliche stretching arm around my shoulder, he just spoiled me at intermission with snacks and beer. He made a joke about how he bought me nearly every snack because it would make it harder for me to run away from him. Following the ballet, we walked to a jazz club where he knew the bouncer and the ticket-taker. We got in free and he left some money by the door for my best friend to exempt her from a cover. He got me a couple drinks AND my best friend a couple drinks. This went on for a couple different bars. Same pattern: he's schmooze it up with the bouncers then feed us drinks. His composure seemed to disintegrate with the drinks. The last bouncer he interacted with chipped away at his gentleman facade. They bumped fists and spoke as if they were alums of a new-age fraternity. Then found more frat brothers in the bar and I became invisible. He remained like that for at least 15 minutes. Thank God my best friend was with me because it appeared I was simply a girl he brought to the ballet. Oh, but the plot thickens. We wrapped up the night at a pizza place. I guess we were there for a slice and a show because immediately after retrieving our pepperoni triangles, a fight broke out. My date belligerently stumbled over to the fight and breaks it up with his two beefy arms slurring, "Get the fuck out of here." The girl from behind the pizza counter grabbed the wooden plaque used to remove pizzas from the stone and hopped over the counter. I swear, it was like something in a movie; I was waiting for her to bash someone over the head with it. Before the cinema magic could begin, in march the cops. They charged toward my date to grab him but once the baker of cheesy goodness explained that he was not in the fight, they let him go. Meanwhile, in the corner from my front row seat to the charade, there were two, seemingly intoxicated, 18 year olds with a glazed look in their eye consuming their pizza at a steady pace. They were completely unfazed by the altercation before their eyes. I envied them. My night consisted of a series of events revealing dating deceit at its finest. My guilt of all that he orchestrated (flowers, the ballet tickets, drinks, covers) convinced me to at the very least, finish the date. Looking back I know I shouldn't have got in the car with him but berating myself now won't alter the events that followed... In order to make it the 12 blocks to the car, he ordered a pedicab. Big surprise, my date knew him as well. I should have seen these signs much earlier in the night but I guess I was distracted by the colorful pointe shoes and eloquent spinning 3 hour show. His fraternity talk became more defined as he gloated about mushrooms and dropping acid with the driver. Oh Stephanie, you can pick them. We got into his car and the pedicab driver even asked, "Bro, you good to drive?" I held my breath as we went over the bridge to Narnia -- i mean, I'm not too far off since this date seems too bizarre to be true. It couldn't have been more than a 4 minute trek... We get to my house and he leaned in for a kiss. What part of the second half of this date did he think went well? So as I politely pulled back, he leaned closer and proceeded to grab the front of my neck. Not the side in a sexy or like gentle, caressing way-- the front of my neck, directly under my chin. I went to move my hands to his grip and it tightened. Slightly frightened, my body started to freeze. Shaking myself back to reality from the inside, I was able to gain control over my body and jerked my head back, then turning to the door. He was totally unfazed. He swiftly removed the keys from the ignition and followed me to my door. Oh shit.. What am I going to do? He follows me up my stairs and I bid him good night but I felt myself being pushed up against the wall of the manila stairs leading up to my apartment stairs. I managed to wiggle free, threw him a fake smile, and told him to text me once he gets home. I slipped up the stairs and into my door locking it faster than you could say deadbolt. After his "I'm home safe" text, I never heard from him again and honestly hope I never do. Since this Nutcracker experience was overall crummy, I'm making banana split pie. Combined a cup of graham cracker crumbs, 1/2 a cup of sugar, 1 tsp salt, and 1 stick of butter. Press down in pie and bake for 10 minutes on 300 degrees. Drain can of crushed pineapple and maraschino cherries. Cut 2 bananas and mix with fruit and 1 container of coolwhip. Assemble in pie crust and drizzle with chocolate. You can always pie a guy in the face too;)
This recipe is accredited to my cousin Coley.
2 Comments
Cay Diadiun
1/22/2018 10:41:01 pm
OMG! Girl, I can’t believe this dude. Glad you are safe. I know there has to be a good guy out there for you. Hang in there and be safe. Love you, Caycee
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Steph
1/28/2018 02:21:30 am
I knowwwwwww, Caycee! isn't that insane?! my luck is so not good on here LOL. You know who I think would love to hear my stories? Aunt Cindy ?
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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