We all know immediately following a second chance, that person is on their catholic school's BEST behavior. Mr. Hook was minding his P's Q's LMNO's ...the whole alphabet soup.Plainly, I'm too exasberated to recall the "good things" Mr. Hook did and feelings he evoked. Hook yourself a bag of popcorn and sink down into a beanbag chair for this spin of events. He "made it up" to me (still not sure if that is all he made up) by recreating our skype movie date complete with date attire and an energy drink in hand (since he works nights, he wanted to ensure he was engaged and alert in our afternoon date). Things continued as they were before the first date disappointment and possibly were even better. What makes me say that? As illustrated by Dates N. Cakes: Laughing I said, "yeah when he was my man." "I wish you would let me be your man." "Pshh, you said you wanted to wait until we meet in person." "I mean... I thought that's what you wanted. I was trying to read you; I know what I want." {nothing sexier than when a man knows what he wants.... okay I could think of a handful of things ;))} "Well...." I smiled. "There's only one way to find out..." "Stephanie?" "Hook?" "Stephanie?" "Yes?" "Will you... be my girlfriend?" Could barely keep a smile from my thin lips when they formed the word "Yes." We continued in a long-distance relationship for 3 daysThe Tuesday [before it went down], we had a LONNNGGGGGG talk in which he stated he was in this for the long-term. He even called ME OUT when I questioned his intentions claiming I was deflecting. I agreed. Hey! I appreciate when people call a spade a spade. Not to mention, it's kind of a turn-on when guys do it to me... ;) As the 6 hour conversation into the night continued, he mentioned the word "marriage." Like 96.821% of females, that word stops us in our tracks. Even though, presently, I'm not even sure if I want that anymore, I pushed it aside nervously. Remembering how pivotal honest intentions and trust is to Mr. Hook, I revealed a secret about myself that I wasn't quite ready for. Upon hearing this news, he uttered, "I have to marry ya now." He said a variation of this phrase again and then we engaged in certain relations... ;) It played out like this after I called him 3 times in a drunken daze missing my "babe." He answered in a groggy phase, even though on the REGULAR, I stayed up with him until 6 or 7 am my time, talking and enjoying every moment...which I must have mistaken as mutual. I told him I missed him, naturally since I assumed it is a safe space when you're official with someone. I was officially wrong. He said he was stressed about his failing grade in school and an upcoming exam on Tuesday. So, I suggested we chill until then and he snapped with, "Well, I'll have another after that. I'll continue with them until June." "But June is when you leave California..." My voice trailed as I could feel the distance in his voice. He said nothing. "What are we gonna do?" I whispered as I rolled over in the full sized bed, 2 time-zones away from his. I don't remember his tone, I just remember that I pressed on. "What do you--- I thought you wanted this." "I wanted this, but I want my career more." The past tense in his weak word choice triggered tears. "But you knew this before you started this..." "I really have to get my grade up and pass these and between school and my friends I just..." Sobbing was all I could release. His end of the phone was silent. I think what hurt the most was how little he cared in this moment, but had no problem ordering handcuffs for us to use, conveniently pinning the "m word" (marriage, marry, m'nms) on me as a manipulative trick I've now experienced 7 times (from 7 different dudes that obviously didn't step to back up their little words), and dismissed anything we were or exchanged before. "I don't think it would be fair to you..." he said halfheartedly. How do I convey the rage building? The betrayal and abandonment AGAIN? Genie, take it away:
"I guess so," he said. "Can I call you tomorrow or something?" "I don't get the point." I said in deep devastation.
Have I learned NOTHING in my datesandcakes history? Guh, you bet your sweet pippy that there is gonna be an explosive vlog about this.... stay tuned ;)
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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