As far as slapping myself with a spoon or another less-than-sharp inanimate object to stay awake, I hit the trifecta with these guys. There's no doubt in my mind these guys are "good guys..." but their conversations were criminal! No, they didn't brag about going to big pen instead of an over-sized British clock but did make the clock fell like it stopped-- in the worst way possible. There were long gaps of silence in our conversation. But he was so sweet and genuinely excited to spend time with me. Anytime he could inch himself into my schedule, he would eagerly click his #2 mechanical and write his name in all caps. I had been accustomed to so many flakes, so naturally, I couldn't resist... At least for a month until I fell asleep on one of our dates. It's humorous, because my mom has had a similar experience with a guy. Whenever she told me that as a kid, the car filled with a shrill Elementary giggle. Now, 20 years later, I can relate to my mom more than I ever thought I would. The guy from Ohio or Indiana or I don't know-- some Midwestern State I can't even remember, would gloat about how the Midwest superior to the South. My response was simple and slightly sarcastic, "Bless your heart! Y'all don't know what y'all talking about." It got to the point that for his dates to be tolerable, we would have to have movie dates with a bucket of non-buttered popcorn. Then when his prideful conversation agitated me, I would just kiss him. That pacified him for a little bit, but then I realized: you can't spend all your time with someone making out... I mean you can but, there was no potential for future. So I left him to chase girls aligned with his Northwestern expectations I thought a psychiatrist would be fun with the perks of a free health assessment...Not really- okay maybe a little, but this only evoked an anxiety attack, while on our first date. Not to mention, his drone conversation drove me to drink. Of course literally... do I really have to explicitly state that? He dating history was obsolete, so if I would have pursued anything with him, I would have been his first everything....in which, I already was his first kiss, and it was awkward to say the very least two words: he moaned. See, finding a good guy (or good girl) is just entry level guidelines. Then you have to assess their:
I'd Rather Bake Fruit Than Attend One More Date With These Duds (no offense- I know, that doesn't refute the insult) Fall asleep to this healthy stuff stuffed into this healthy thing
2 peaches 1/2 cup oats, 1/8 cup olive oil; It's NEVER a good sign when a dessert calls for olive oil 1/8 cup I will never be his honey Pinches of cinnamon 1/4 cup of chopped pecans. In a small bowl, combine oats, oil, honey, cinnamon, and pecans. Slice peaches in half. These dates were the pits so remove them. Fill with oat mixture and bake at 400 F for 15 minutes. Dr. Pie Why? 2 apples (any kind, preferably from the talking trees in "The Wizard of Oz" #desperate4entertainment) 1/4 cup brown sugar Pinches of cinnamon 1/2 sheet of puff pastry; all puffed up about your lips... Awkward down to the very core-- core apples and slice in half. Paint the inside with brown sugar. Slice puff pastry into thin strips and create a lattice design over the apples. Thread interest into this dish (see, it's not hard) Sprinkle with more sugar and cinnamon (desperate to sweeten, spice, even zest it up). Bake at 400 F for 18 minutes until pastry is golden, unlike silence in this case. Tart Midwestern Boy: You Won't Wanna Kiss No More-No More This boy is getting minimal effort from me. 2 grapefruits and a "western-amount" of brown sugar. Slice grapefruits in half and remove excess pride and seeds. Make incisions in each division of the grapefruit. This allows for tact-- I mean, sugar to soak in. Sprinkle with sugar and bake at 400 F for 18 minutes. https://abeautifulmess.com/2012/10/bake-fruit-3-ways.html
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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