It's almost like the lights flashed and the fog on the dance floor was just for us. My best friend and I, exited the dance floor like we were exiting a limo with tipsy grace and pizzazz. That's right I just said pizzazz. Naturally, we made our way over to the bar. Trying to cut through the smog of people, we pinpointed a spot next to a short blonde haired guy, no older than 28, but no younger than 25. He sent a drunk and smile our way and asked if we wanted a shot. Our pockets (or boob cleavage, the only constant pocket in woman's wardrobe) were as bare as our Wells Fargo accounts (wild west, south-- you name it). As we were in no position to turn that down, we started to answer when he upped the wager with shouting, "yuh, it's a fruit loop shot." Colorful flashbacks to groggy mornings wearing a Reptar shirt, no pants, and a hairdo only "cool" when Lady Gaga rocks it, fumbling my way down the winding stairs to the breakfast table. Never quite creating the perfect ratio of electric artificially-flavored loops with skim milk, I'd try to eat the blue ones first. Usually my hunger would trump my artsy efforts, but the effort was there. Being tapped by my beautiful blonde friend beside me, I returned to 2018 with fruit loops in the night life fashion-- drunk and on a mission. Starring at us with the shots lined up behind him, he bellowed, "reaaaady?" And then laughed a smokers kind of laugh, raspy and slightly comparable to Kutcher's laugh in "Dude Where's My Car." Enticed more by the name than his gesture, we grabbed the short glasses on the bars wooden counter and were amused that there really were fruit loops floating in the drink. Recieving a shove from thirsty customers behind us, I managed to keep my drink from spilling but knew I couldn't marvel at it another moment. The three of us threw it back. The punch of rubbing alcohol lingered in my nostrils; guhh, rotgut liquor, I thought but my face remained unchanged. I looked up and my best friend held the same, slate facial expression while the shot the blonde haired dude-bro's eyes winced little bit. He swallowed hard and then he started with introductions. The music was so loud and we were both not exactly sober, so I imagine the conversation kind of petered out. A few good songs came on and we broke out dancing right there at the bar... Yes, we were those annoying people that create gridlock traffic by the bar when you just want a bloody drink. "There's a dance floor for a reason" I could feel eyes of strangers shout; but we didn't care. We weren't causing a rucus by dancing on the bar that's a different bar: Coyote Ugly. Been there done that... That's a whoooole different story. But, at this, less than famous bar in a suburb of Charleston, we danced near the blonde-headed frat boy whom apparently was not pleased with the result of his fruit loop investments. He looked at me and said, "Well, you know what? I don't want to fuck you OR your friend." My sarcasm could not be tamed. "Oh no, really? Oh oh oh. Whatever shall we do?" Obviously a response to this volume of sarcasm only fueled his fire. Lucky for me, he wasn't a violent man and he just walked away. Looking over my shoulder, I saw my best friend's was talking to another guy, possibly to get another shot. I just snickered at the punishment the guy just awarded us after buying us a fruit loops shot. It's hilarious that he believed that one rotgut liquor shot disguised by a children's cereal was supposed to get both of us to go home with him. Actually, from what I can tell, he might of been the "get it in the alley after a smoke break kind of guy." I have to admit, buying my own shots isn't this entertaining, so thanks for the laugh, Mr. Fruitiest of all the Loops. Oh, not to mention, one of the bartenders overheard his "punishment" and my sarcastic reaction and he said it made his night. Not a bad Friday, indeed. BRING ON SATURDAY! The one we had was 90% cream and undoubtedly used Taaka vodka, but here is a more delightful version for your elementary reminisce.
THE FRUIT LOOP 1 oz. (30ml) Fruit Loop Vodka 2 oz. (60ml) Blue Curaçao 1 oz. (30ml) Half & Half Garnish: Froot Loops PREPARATION: 1. Combine ingredients in a shaker with ice and shake well. 2. Strain mix into glass with ice and top with fruit loops. https://tipsybartender.com/recipe/the-fruit-loop/
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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