I fell right between the lines, so you could leave me for dead.You didn't sever it, so you could keep your options open. Allowing myself to be one of your options was my mistake. And as you carry on watching pole dancers and conversations sliding into your illuminated view, I'll continue fuming for allowing this to happen. Learn from DatesandCakes, you're NOT an option, you're the solution-- hell, you may well be the purpose. You're the fire and the fight that makes it all worth it. You're to be pursued and wooed. You're the warmth that is otherwise unattainable. You are valued, cherished, treasured, and damn well are enough.
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I'm the kind of girl that loves a story, particularly one that I am the protagonist. Thrilled by it all, the initial invitation into my life, the alleged unique connection, and the tension. I tiptoe on coals as to not burn the entirety of my sole. The touch is inevitable and intentional... But never quite sensual. Maybe for a moment, but it fades like paint on a front door. The compliments are currency and my time scenes expendable. Investing in the wrong interests and compliments. Even the radio blurts this message:"Am I only a lab rat? Something you can test things out?" ~Dissolve I've found myself in unbee-lievable situations where it's no wonder I end up bruised and left with only their stinger protruding from my freckled skin. It's not that I needed to feel someone to feel something... Or maybe it was. Reconnecting with an old Flame with his knowledge of everything that's going on is still more than a mutual swipe after closing time. I'm drawn to connections that don't require a tower signal or battery to illuminate the topics discussed. I long to be selected-- for someone to say, "I NEED to know more about that ____." And eventually formulate the conclusion that he also needs that spunky person in their life. He didn't need liquid courage to approach me, or the pressure to "lock someone down" by last call. Even the hope of starting a story at a bar became bleak when pandemic lock-downs were mandated. The simplicity, but possibilities a night out offers seemed so distant from March to June across the country.A dark desperation spread across the single world of inconsistent daters and many of us grasped pens and the hope left to write a dating story. Not one for love, and God knows not one forever, but a story; a connection with someone when it wasn't permitted naturally for the unforeseeable future.My standards became flexible and I attributed it to "open-mindedness." I entertained:
Refusal to be left behind. Refusal to not be capable of my full potential. Reusual for final submission — admitting defeat to spontinuity. This writer is going places alone and for those that refunded their ticket, they'll quickly learn, this companion will be hard extremely hard to replace. Open-Minded Watermelon Cake
https://howtocakeit.com/blogs/recipes/watermelon-cake A sharp connection, a stylus in a groove
Rhythm and words quite familiar A melodic explanation of a mood Track 8 presumes her a filler Then an anthem not for sharing Lyrics establish loyal pursuit One-and-only self-preparing Steel trust now accessible loot A flash of light with notification His active dating app chorus Revealing wilting patience B flat taunts: there was no "us" Flashbacks of a similar cadence Side two seals it with kiss Force his memory into just a dance Unfinished record, inevitable dis Sure showed the record player Leveling up the harp and heart string Casting her skies shades grayer Farewell to another shoal fling I'm having trouble with a common discrepancy with my online encounters. The expectations seem to be skewed and I've got to get this off my chest... Which is covered in my pictures yet, guys still make comments inquiring of my cup size. 8oz is my whitty response. I feel like the standard is not the same. I've had copious messages inquiring of how recent my pictures on my profile were. I've learned that four months is an acceptable amount of time for female pictures but, there's no such rule for male counterparts. The full-body picture is not an expectation for men, so a string bean may look like a pear... Which is fine if you're trying to make a cobbler, but if you're in dire need of a healthy companion, you're out of stalk. Bluntly, online dating is shopping for features and characteristics that may match your appetite. Dad bod with a wild side, holding an acoustic guitar maybe last months flavor, but the shipment of free-spirited sarcastic elder who's good with his hands entices the pallet... at least until next season. Mr. Wire Hanger was not completely my tight, but one or two of us pictures was pretty cute, so I engaged in nerdy conversation. While conversation went smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy, I requested a picture on Snap to save with our chat. When I say my phone fell out of my hand, I wish I was exaggerating. All I can say is thank God for my LifeProof case. Does it protect from spills, concrete cracks, and clumsiness? Sure, but does it protects from catfishing? NOWWWWW we're talking. He looked as similar to his dating profile pictures as I do to Demi Moore. What-- having the same color hair doesn't count for anything? What a hairy situation.... His hair and beard were so wiry and unkempt that they resembled Uncle Sid from the Duck Commander TV show. I'm sure he's somebody's type, but definitely not for me. Hey, we are all entitled to people that you find attractive.... God knows there's plenty of people that have blatantly alerted me that I would not be their type if I was the last woman on Earth. I get it... But don't come at me and call me shallow you're the one doing the misleading. Do I have cast pictures where I have all the right junk in all the right places and less than lines on my face? I have proof in the pudding... But is that going to get me anywhere for people that are trying to meet me now? Appreciating honesty when given me, I told this boy what was up after slowly phasing out our conversation and adding ridiculous response times to each message. "Hey... I'm sorry but you're really not my type." "Then why did you swipe on me," he inquired. "Well... you just look different than your pictures." "Yeah," he admitted. "Those are about 2 years ago." I absolutely lost it like a blind woman loses her car in the parking lot of Tuesday morning. "How?" I sputtered. "How is it acceptable for a guy to do that yet I'm expected to have full body pictures and then be recent to the point where they have to be in the last few months?" "Well, girls take a lot more pictures..." I refused to have this conversation with him. He tried to carry on about how standards are skewed and it really shouldn't be all about physical features, yet he was certainly content with mine. Remember the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?" Well.... DatesandCakes has her own real approach on it!Guess I'll have to continue to play the cards I've been dealt.All I ask is that you don't hurt me. But it's perfectly okay for you to break my heart within the first 24 hours of a trip you bought me to spend quality time with you.You're one my gut warned me about
When I was deterred about your approach Your promises casting self-doubt Noble steed pulling a coach Yet another to fantasize Meet your needs; tailored Clawed me as your cute prize Past loneliness, now cured My painted heart you raided With a true face masked The memories-- won't save it Masquerades: a thing of the past Catfishing is when someone posts an attractive picture of themselves that is no longer an accurate portrayal of them, current day. Sometimes, they even go to the extent of using someone else's picture! For the first time in Dates and Cakes history, this happened to me. I was minding my business, baking as usual when a new add from snapchat flashed on my phone. I glanced at the screenname to ensure it wasn't something like grinder4lyfe or puffNpussy and then the bitmoji icon and accepted the request. For those less than obsessed with Snapchat, you can create your own avatar on Snapchat to resemble you.... mind you, this is typically how that person sees themselves and isn't always an accurate portrayal. Why would you prose such a statement, Stephanie? Could you be foreshadowing something? After conversation commenced from the add, I had a feeling I should ask for a picture. He stated that we JUST had matched on Tinder so there were 4 pictures for me to look at. I toggled to Tinder in the time it took me to rip open a bag of sweetish fish, when I saw a slightly nerdy, but fairly attractive man with blonde hair and a neat beard. I returned to the conversation. His nerd side was exemplified when he geeked out about Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones (I have seen neither). I know, I know. GOT is on "my list" to watch but, I don't really sit still long enough to get wrapped into a show and I fell asleep in the theater for Lord of the Rings. I actually enjoy seeing someone nerd out on something that is important to them since I do the same with classic Disney, all things Joker, and Harry Potter (think I'm a Griffinpuff). The words exchanged between him and I mixed like melted butter and melting marshmallows. As I continued to multitask, I received another snap message, which took my focus off Mr. Bottom Feeder for a few seconds. When my eyes returned to the list of screen names, It took me at least 30 seconds to figure out which one he was (sorry not sorry? plenty of fish in my sea ;) When I finally found which one was him, I asked for a picture to save in the chat. He sent one already loaded on his Tinder. This is where my suspicion rose. "I like your beard," I commented politely, "but can you send me a current one?" The picture he sent "live" was HARDLY even the same picture as the ones on Tinder. There was at least an 80lb weight difference and an unruly mane on his round face. My knee-jerk reaction was to abstain from being shallow and then I thought, WHAT THE FISH?! Not only are there plenty more in the sea, but if I were to have put a picture later than 3 months ago, then I would've been written off or scolded. Confrontation for the FIN! He tried to blame society and the shallow focus and I was having NONE of that. I said, "Look, if guys are able to swipe left or leave a date with a girl that is not his preferable circumference, then I can certainly do the same. This was dishonest and I have nothing left to say on the matter." I left in a splash. Dessert should be something fishy.... lol maybe with Swedish fish or imitating? Ingredients
Spring 2020Anyone that has underestimated Steph or DatesandCakes is gravely mistaken-- including Steph herself. This girl is gonna have the force, even though I had NO clue "gravely mistaken" was a phrase from Star Wars.... I was really just emphasizing to any of my past flings or anyone else that seems to have their opinion of me in a bunch, that I'm worthy of the love I seek. That message is to me too <3 I've been back and forth with blogging and vlogging due to insecurities rooted in other's words but perpetuated by my own weakness. Well, thanks to my new blog friend, I'm taking a stand and publishing it! This datesandcakes recipe is for me! GASP I didn’t think you are sleeping w all these guys. Don’t worry about what others think, it is none of their business, and everyone has their own lenses for the world. You are making the best decisions for you and your life. I wonder what dessert that would be, one for you, a big heart for loving yourself so well and not settling out of fear, boredom, or hormones! I've been running this race of life in a unique pair of shoes that have more than "soul." I've prided myself on not checking (or climbing inside) the boxes society has built: |
AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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