This post could be robust with gratitude for the blessings I've encountered, but you've heard the lists and I'm sure have drafted one of your own. This is supposed to be a dating blog stuffed with humor and adventure, complimented by jaw-gaping reactions. So, for once, I'll give the people what they want.....Baha had to say that aloud. One thing I'm ever so thankful for is every day that passes without receiving an unsolicited dick pic. If you've been following DatesandCakes for awhile, you may recall the series on dick pics where I polled other women about their encounter with this sick fad and their reaction to them. My "favorite" (if you can select the best of the worst) dick pic (because I'm still in awe of his.... umm, creativity?) was the guy that decorated his dick with the drawing feature on snapchat and turned it into a turkey. You heard me--- err read me. Here's the story for extra laughs. This was Thanksgiving 2017, yet in 2019 I'm still dealing with the same issue, different volume. ;) This guy, Mr. South D, was nice and not too cute, so I thought I was safe. Safe from threats of getting hurt since he lived in another state, safe since he was a sports coach for adolescents, and safe since I have this facade that guys that don't look like Channing Tatum, nor are they striving to be of such man-candy stature, aren't going to be "skum between my toes." My reality OVER My expectationsWe My best friend has pointed out to me tirelessly that although she gets hurt too, at least the guys she dates "are more attractive. Steph, if the inevitable is heartbreak, at least it can be with a hottie that made you drool a little."
Well... can't quit cold turkey, but hopefully I won't have another Mr. South D. This guy seemed sweet, with a sprinkle of selfishness. We had a notorious Snapchat streak of pictures back and forth with silly pics for at least 40 consecutive days. Nothing sexual, nothing too boring-- just two flirty singles living day to day as 8 second pen-pals with 18 character messages. So, it was no stirring love story but, I didn't think it would end in an unsolicited dick video. Live and in action and something I thought this "sweet guy" wouldn't have just sprung on me OUT OF NO WHERE. My favorite part is that when I gave it to him (don't get excited, I mean screamed via text about what warranted that and how other recipients may have liked it, but I felt it was disrespectful) and he never denied sending it to other girls. THEN, to add to it, he BLOCKED ME. So, to exemplify my surprise, here's your surprise pieWith all that candy, it seems sweet, but the flavors may just be a little too much. INGREDIENTS
INSTRUCTIONS
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Let's pretend allowing you to take me to my favorite Disney movie in live action didn't mean everything; you found my "nerding out" adorable. Let's pretend I didn't want to climb all 6 foot 4 inches of you and drown in those damn turquoise eyes. Let's forget about your constant laughter at any wink of humor that spilled from my burgundy stained lips. Let's pretend I didn't see this coming when you disclosed your hometown is nestled "deep in the heart of Texas." [I have such a history from guys that took a toll: all but one or two originated from Texas] Let's pretend I wasn't the first girl to tell you no, and that's why you sprung for date #2. Let's pretend you weren't impressed with my internal music encyclopedia. Let's pretend I didn't catch on to your inconsistency in stories, priorities, and ex-fiance. Let's disregard your failure to mention you lived in another state. Let's pretend we never went to the beach that Sunday morning after coffee. Let's pretend I didn't notice where your eyes settled when you saw me in a swimsuit. Let's not revisit the shame your reaction had on my self image, self esteem, and well.... my...self. Let's not highlight the disgust you exhibited and how you refused to touch me. Let's pretend that although I had built up confidence in my internal attributes and sunshine smile, it wasn't built to weather this kind of disapproval. Let's pretend I wasn't raised on measuring up (or the lack their of). Let's pretend that I, like most the girls I know, didn't battle body dismorphia. Let's pretend I didn't watch the woman I idolized shrivel to bones and thin skin because of exterior circumstances spurred by internal ones. Let's pretend you were concerned with anything other than bringing me back home like a troubled youth you were stuck with for community service. Let's pretend I've thought of you TWICE since that Sunday.... oh, because I haven't. Whether you wanna splurge on a dessert without as many calories or you just happen to have the ingredients on hand, here is a "Skinny" Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bar Recipe.
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
April 2022
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