I've been submerged into a state of numbness but it's much deeper than that.
Google Dictionary defines it as: Nirvana (n)- a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. Speaking of Cobain brings me to the villainous Bane. "We are all prisoners of our own device" and can call be teetering the line of heroism and corruption. I know this sounds slightly dramatic but think of it in the most simplest of terms. To allow yourself to slip into darkness is to familiarize yourself with uncharted depths. New parts of yourself resting in complete oblivion.Allowing myself to be defined by the shallowest of men has pushed me to the basement of my self-worth. I am not defined by the male attention I receive or the number of kisses planted yet, I need to remind myself of that constantly.
So this isn't a post grasping for sympathy or straws for my Jack and Sprite. This is a post of acknowledgement and possibly defeat. It WILL catch up to you.. but this is the beauty of free will. It certainly caught up to me when I let someone in. That sounds monumental, right? Wrong. When you're not ready for it, it's not something that can be forced. I tried; it kept me up at night. And yet there was still some sort of block-- inability to do this. To allow this. To pursue it. It almost tempts you to stay home, "take cold showers every night and dream my life away." At least I can bare a smile with a super villain, rock band legend, and musical number all in one post. Now, for some very necessary therapy baking.Dark Side Chocolate Cake
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I know that a gyms' financial stability is contingent on broken New Year's resolutions, but I feel like they're too much of a letdown. It reminds me of the idea of Valentine's Day. You should show people you love gestures and affirmations of your for love them every day of the year, not just on one designated day. So, why would you just make goals for betterment and self-growth one sole day of the year? Is it because everyone else is doing it? It just puts a really bad taste in my mouth. This isn't to slight people that believe in it and actually work to achieve them... It's just not my cup of tea. Last year, from the turn of 2017 into 18, I had hoped for a midnight kiss. My best friend, the blonde in my mini-series, aspired for the same thing. We were at an all-inclusive bar with mid-grade liquor and unlimited hors d'oeuvres. It was quite the setup because, although it was $100 a person, we certainly got our fill. And, our clever selves set up sleeping bags at my office, which was across the street. In a drunken cloud after the night, we would be able to avoid surging Uber prices and nestle our way to my office carpet until the new year daybreak. Well, that is how it ended, but to rewind to the rest of the night: Freezing my cheeks (both) off in my cocktail dress with a new pair of pumps, the server I had my eye on for the New Year's kiss had his eye on someone else. Which is fine, it's New Years! What did I think? To find my soulmate on New Year's night? It's not like the person you kiss is the person you'll kiss through the entirety of the year. Even I knew that. But, when he decided to kiss my best friend-- oh, it made me a little resentful. But, like all things, it passed. Not to mention, I had two other takers approaching me near the countdown, but it was less than eventful...well, one of them. The other one of them: He sheepishly approached me and couldn't keep eye contact. I made a joke to break the ice, "so, how much was the bet." The amount of guilt that consumed his face, forced out a laugh from my ruby-stained lips. Cowardly, he's slugged away. So, not only did I lose my desired kiss for New Year's to my best friend, but my only other taker was part of a bet and I called him out on it? Yay 2018 LOL most people, usually the ones that follow New Year's resolutions, believe that meant my romance category was tainted for the duration of this new year. But I couldn't be bothered with such superstitious rubbish. And so I returned to the popcorn shrimp stand and jammed to Tom Petty as the cover band played 3 of his songs ;)) Night made. Everything in life is what you make it and I don't believe you need a ball dropping, sparklers, balloon dropping (with cash nestled inside), or a midnight's kiss to start off the year with a bang! Well, I guess some people's midnight kiss may end in a bang (ba-dap-chhh!)Well, one thing that certainly doesn't drop the ball is a Salted Caramel Chocolate Cake. Oh, and it's zero calories in case your resolution (if you're about that life) is to lose weight in any capacity ;)))For the Cake
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Whatever you adore or seek most in life is something you should constantly be in pursuit of. -datesandcakes Forget "raindrops on roses" and "brown paper packages tied up with string," frolicking past familiar lines (state, map, country) is one of my favorite things. It is quite possibly my favorite! So why, might I ask, would I jeopardize that for a possible romantic interest? Would I really let a guy hinder that? Or is a date with an opportune companion something I could pursue while exploring new cities?
If you're experiencing mediocre dates and subpar conversations, then your most valuable non-renewable resource is slipping through your fingers like sand in an hourglass. Stop wasting your time, spending it with people that don't deserve it... Even if that's just the man upstairs or a good friend on the other line of a phone. I'm speaking from personal experience for allowing boneheads to consume my time like lust leeches. So, I sought out better. I wasn't afraid of conversation with guys from the windy city, the big apple, or the big d (city not actually.... I mean, is that really something to fear? Come on now;)Dates are intended to present a comfortable and enjoyable (hopefully, gosh!) platform to absorb rays of a person's personality. Thus providing you data to review and determine if they are a person you wish to pursue and continue engaging with. If you are undecided, like I was the first two years of college, you may take a leap of faith or walk away, never looking back. If you are intrigued, well, hopefully you'll find even more engaging activities to partake together. This person you're trying to learn from the ground level should have a similar desire to learn you. Hold up, Stephanie! I'm on Tinder.. I really should be lucky to have a guy not have a weird fetish or have a girl that doesn't unleash her crazy on the first date.... A travel date is much too much of a skyscraper standard. Why though? Would you spend time with friends that ONLY ever wanted to do what peaked their interest? Would you waste rolls of quarters on ski-ball if you couldn't care less if the ball hit 100 or the girl with the bad extensions behind you? You should never feel that something that will bring you utter happiness is unattainable. Realism must be acknowledged, but that's why honesty and hobbies are something to express prior to even agreeing to a first date. You may save yourself some heartache or guys, some money, if there's opposing views colder than the polar (bears, santa's workshop, bi). So, it's a mystery to uncover if they believe you're worth getting to know. Then, it will be natural to try to engage in activities you like, because they'll value doing things with you to make you smile. Don't settle for Netflix and chill. Both teams deserve someone that cares about their interest in about where they're going in life. I've been to the magical world of Disney, San Antonio River Walk, Miami Beach, Fredericksburg German Town, and Myrtle Beach for dates. Not to mention the projected Maine trip for my best friend and I, Disney Park-Hopper date, and a spontaneous trip to one of the great lakes. These seem farfetched but, each one of these guys learned that my values lie in adventures and not diamonds, roses, or manicures. If I can find people that take the time, anyone can. I found the recipe most suiting is the copycat recipe of the poster child cookie of traveling! ....or hotels at least.DoubleTree Cookie Recipe
Of all the dates that have come and gone and the seldom few that have been promoted to boyfriend, the common denominator for the fights have been... well, me. Gloves high, sure, I can take a hit but boy-oh-boy can I throw one. Most of the ones impacting those I date are intentional and mild, but the ones from the inside- the dirty shots, are the ones from me to me. And I have a nasty right hook... Self-doubt BAM Self-esteem POW Insecurities WAP Sabotage SLAM Fear of Falling DING DING 'Call It!' I get so caught up in the now and excitement of the ring, that if I would've stopped to review the logistics, I probably wouldn't have entered the ropes. So now, I'm mid-ring with an opponent with mutual attraction and I'm ill-prepared for what's to come. My blog has captured, or at least tried to, the different ventures out of singleness, but each road, path, or dim-lit track has brought me back here. It's like I've maxed 647 horsepower, only to catch a glimpse of a mustard "dead end" sign. I'm rearing to go, gaining speed with the wind in my hair and then I take a detour, they change the street light, or we both exit the vehicle while it's on cruise. I've become accustomed to the ride and singleness has almost become an identity, which until recently, I've been oblivious the comfort it provides. Then, out of the wood-works comes this boy, whom by looking at me makes me feel home. With no plan and no real knowledge of my opponent, I get into the ring with this fairy tale idea that a traveling buddy is all I've needed. He cuddles you, is bound to be loyal, and smiles at you, while calling you his and then... the inevitable. These caramel pumpkin muffins are really a knockout.... and, are actually a recipe I concocted ;))1 can of pumpkin
1 box of white cake mix 1 c chocolate chips A handful of caramel (melted and swirled in) mix. Pour. 350. 20mins. TKout It's a fine line when you're playing the game of holding multiple hearts. Keeping track of their interests, family history, Insiders, humor type dr. It goes on. Then keeping track of their texting styles, Tendencies to call you when they're drunk or high, level of jealousy... It all has to be taken into account before adding them to your roster. And to maintain them on your roster. It is thrilling because you'll never know if you're going to get caught or if their jealousy will flare . There's no argument that you're wanted because there's three trying for the same end goal . You have one that labels himself unattainable so he teases about other dates. You tease back with total validity cheer teasing. Oh, well I guess I'll just go to his house tomorrow. The reality of the matter is just that. Two beds in the same day but nothing too scandalous. Certain levels of physical contact crate and attraction and Sparks and infatuation. Can't have a roster if you're attached to one . Since I'm obviously capable of doing this, I assume the fact that anyone is. I'm the least expecting of them all . That's why it works. Mischievous and dangerous this is how I've been tracking the dating field got it. Until the players start to become individualized and you begin picturing yourself what's 1 as the MVP without question . One that you're in your mind has already won and it was supposed to be a team sport. Then you're left in the position of reducing your roster. That's when you pull out the data boys and better luck next time. This is dating not baseball so you can certainly cry and you certainly have to find different lingo than that. The boy I removed from the roster is someone I probably had no business dating- as long as I did anyway... But he was a mixture of characters from recent posts. You might be familiar with puppy love and Mister spontaneity. He is wanting the same. Allegedly the tender thing was a hacking and allegedly I didn't mind. We spent laughs and jokes and evenings and phone calls. We made Insiders and spent Thanksgiving together. He knew I was to Gypsy for his taste and bluntly conveyed I was not ready to settle down. Such a statement appalled me to the point where I almost ran right then and there. Settle down. That sounded like a death sentence. I'm too young. I don't know what number has to do with any of it, but I feel my energy and my bucket list, seeming to be hitting a growth spurt in its peak of puberty, prevents me I'm even thinking a forever. Short-term is something we agreed on and so, when I broke the news, he inhaled and smiled. Why are you looking like that? We need this was supposed to end in January anyway. I just lost three weeks. But I really have enjoyed spending time with you. The reaction I never thought I would get left me speechless. Completely dumbfounded did someone who spent so much time, energy, and money on me, much less all the compliments (one of which being that I had a perfect ass. I do not take that one lightly. Holla LOL). He was so kind and so understanding. He even bought our second round of drinks. He offered be friends and joke about how different are features are going to be anyway. I was at ease and guilt had subsided. I said my thank-you text on the way home. No Emoji, no explanation. Just thank you. There really are good guys in the world and people really can do what they say. I gave me a little hope even though I was quite frankly the one that deserved slightly Brash reaction. I was the one dating multiple people while he was spending any of his free time messaging and taking me out. One of our last dates was to a formal event for his work. Even though he didn't hold it against me. Maybe have broken my track record of dating manipulative men. Or maybe not... Tomorrow is another day. Regardless, he helped me keep the peace and for that, I thank him and could not think of a better dessert than World Peace cookies. Peace of chocolatey goodness with the piece of my heart he'll always have. I have no bitterness about that and know he'll take care of it. He said he wish me the well and I really think he does. This one's to you!
SIX STIR-FRIES TO KEEP SUMMER ALIVE — SPONSOR CONTENT ALL-CLAD COOKWARE —RECIPE PREPARATION
No other way to be a runaway like runaway mountain....,There was a boy that was intrigued by me and I by him. We stretched our wings in Charleston and engaged in activities built for fools. Dates beyond measure and conversation to match. He asked me deep questions, like a therapist would and laughed at my little quirks instead of running like the others. He was never needy and never asked for much except my time. He never pushed anything sexually or really engaged with me in that way too much at all. There's been a couple blog posts about him, he is the one referred to as Mr. Hard to Read. He left in anger one Saturday night the last date we ever had, and I left a voicemail for closure. Weeks later, he stumbled upon not one, but two blog posts about him. He commented and then called. He displayed it as a misunderstanding and wish me the best. I could have salvaged it. I could have tried to get back in. But I didn't. I let it fall. I used it as my escape route. Running away instead of discussing things as an adult was much more preferable. In the dating world, I'm always ready to cut ties. Scissors in hand, I look for ties to be cut. On the Rocks, Nothing on Paper, Scissors, BYE! I'm actually surprised how many ties have actually been been made. You would think after going on 200 different dates with different people, confidence wouldn't be an issue... but I was still perplexed with how I've not only confirmed date times and locations, but many of them have asked for seconds. And then many of them have turned out like this one where is a casual fling stretching upon months. I guess I feel each is stamped with a time mark. An expiration date, if you will, and if I don't beat that expiration date or ultimate freshness, they'll be left to spoil. I'll be left in the turmoil, spinning in some garbage disposal somewhere occasionally being doused with Febreze. So, my protection from that is to rip off the packaging and enjoy the item before that date. Don't get me wrong, they enjoy me too... and God knows many have enjoyed me way before the expiration date and they have been the one to cut ties. So every time you look at a twisty tie, just think, that's awfully similar to some girl with a dating blog soaking up the freshness of a new connection until it's shelf life. So so many have done that to me before and that's the game that musician sing about, athletes engage in their social life, tabloids exploit the best of them from movie stars to TV posers. It's as simple as just running away. You always have to have rational:
Maybe like an extra large Snicker bar. A little nutty a ribbon a sweetness that sticks to you covered in a packaging that isn't the prettiest on the shelf but may capture one or two hungry eyes. The XL is not because it's a fat joke.. Not yet LOL but because people can take as much or as little of me as they want. And they do. Especially in the dating realm. They take what parts of me they want to see or they feel matches theirs and leave the rest unwrapped, unsealed. Reiterating not to the consumer is another way of saying or just being: a runaway. I tell them the God's honest truth that they only see the part of me I allowed them to see or that they put a blinders to the things they can't handle and they still pursue me and eventually devour me. It's like the moms that see an item is gluten free but they fail to realize how many added sugars are in the item. Under the impression there's some healthy component, they accidentally mislead their children and whoever else they choose to share that with. But I won't do that. Here I am and here we go sweet connoisseur Homemade Snickers BarsYields 24 bars
This guy gives puppy love a new name. This isn't just the kind of guy that has his dogs in the bed with you... that would be mild and pretty much considered normal. This particular dog dad allowed the dogs free rein on the bed and one, of which is very attached to him, and he visibly favors, jumped on our cuddled up bodies and started licking our faces while we we were kissing. At one point, I swear I thought her tongue was going to intervene into our make out session. What the hell! I've never tried a threesome, but this is not what they have in mind. Then, he like barely scolded her just like to push her off, very nonchalant. He laughed it off and later she kept trying to wedge herself between the two of us. Okay... I just laid there thinking... So is this what my future would look, competing for his attention with a dog? As the days went by, my phone filled with selfies of him and his dog. My best friend and I take a lot of selfies when we go out, but I think his ass beat our selfies with his dog. Then to ensure this stays on the crazy train tracks, he actually said in writing, I have the text, that if that dog was a person, I wouldn't exist in his world. What? Dude, that's weird... I would like to say he was kidding, but these four pictures are just a fraction of the ones I have. And, anytime I hug him or anything, she barks or tries to jump on me. I've had to compete for a guy before, but this is ruff and I don't think I want to expose myself to this anymore, doggone it! This calls for snoop d-o-double-g |
Dating critiques have much to say about Millennial and our shallow dating encounters. They could fill encyclopedias with impatience for "the real thing" and our playing the field instead of investing in one romantic find. They'll pile high our dependency on technology and our fear of being alone yet, are we the only ones that have engaged in a little dating around? |
Yes, you read that correctly. I saw the white ass of virtually my first boss ever while driving. I'm surprised that's not an offence: indecency while driving, distracting and reckless , moonlighting.... the ideas may never "end."
Needless to say, I was one of the lucky favorites. Everyone has one...and typically if you don't believe that, you're not necessarily the favorite. ... just saying from cold experience. Well, another one of the favorites also happens to be a character you've been introduced to in the "Best Friend Nano Series." Tiffany was another favorite at our first job, where we met 14 years ago. I think I have a tear in my eye.
Aside from receiving a biweekly paycheck at a whopping $5.25 an hour, Tiffany and I being practically adopted into our boss' family. Another thing, less scaring, but just as impressionable than the mooning, was her dating history she shared briefly with us.
I remember it like it was yesterday....
God help me if that was true! I don't know what I wore, how many people I called on the phone, or if I had breakfast yesterday. #68yearoldina28yearoldsbody
She said, "Before I met my husband, [bobo hobo], I used to go out with ALLLL KINDSSSS OF BOYS. I would kiss 'em and then dump 'em. People at school started calling me the dump truck."
I actually haven't thought of that story until now, because I was reflecting on my endless lists of dates and flavors of the week that have come and gone last night in the shower. That's where I get a lot of my thinking and American Idol singing done-- the acoustics are quite suitable for my vocal cords-- and the lighting and free fog with no machine needed.
I remembered that a sweet, silly, successful woman was in a similar position I am in her 20's and sometimes, that's okay. Not that I needed reassurance because anyone that knows me, knows I do what I want BUT, it was kind of nice reminisce about a woman whom I forgot affected my life at 16 and have her affect my life again at 28.
It's easy to let the past be overshadowed by the future, especially if you have big plans (which I pray you do). But, I think the past is upmost significant because it built and bridged you to "here." And "here" is always temporary, so I want to savor it. I must remember to, as should you.
Here and now, I can relate to my boss, the mooner and the artist formerly known as pr-- I mean, "dump truck." My next here, I may be relating to my successful, licensed best friend back home whom saves children every day or even my grandmother whom always believed "someone had it worse" and refused to let complaints taint her little peach lips.
Here in singleness, I'll continue to cultivate sweetness- Dig. In.
Dirt Dessert is the most grounding sweet finish
for any "dump truck"
Sometimes your suitor is crazy and all together villainous, pudding. Grab yourself a box of Oreo or chocolate instant pudding. You'll need cold milk to follow the directions like a good psycho.
Like love's layers, this dessert is arranged as such: pudding, oreos, then worms. Hope you dig it.
Double dates must always equate to double trouble... I have a few more up my sleeve to share with the Dates&Cakes world.
I'm sure you're thinking, wait, isn't his best friend talking to her? Is not going to be a conflict of interest? Are they going to show up on an episode of Jerry and someone's going to hit the other one with a chair? No I only wish that's how the story ended.
The reality of the story is, the friend played my friend. Like a flute or fiddle... But I don't think he knew how to play either. The humorous thing is that he lived in a closet. And not in the Hollywood glamorous way like Harry Potter, more like in the pathetic I don't really know what I'm doing with my life; I'm kind of a hobo more than a gypsy kind of way. He lived in the closet of Mr. Headband. They are best friends, so he supports him... Which I'm not going to lie, I can relate to that because I definitely support my best friend in ways that a couple would support each other... But that's not the point here. She's not on the stand before a jury. This guy however, is.
He said all the right things and made All the Right Moves: brushed her blonde hair from her rosy cheeks, called her pretty and extremely beautiful, said he was going to prove to her his goal wasn't sex. They didn't sleep together... But still left her in a colossal mess. He ghosted her when he ventured on a work trip (which, I'm unsure his profession if he can only afford a closet). But, she was worried that something happened while on the trip or he needed help or.... But of course, these concerns were thoughts of hope masquerading the truth.
He was just some boy being selfish that lead a hopeful girl astray.
While still licking her wounds from this guy that took her by surprise, his boisterous friend messaged her. She didn't deny that she had a glimmer of hope that maybe he was reaching out on behalf of his friend to explain some far-fetched story and how he thought about her the whole time... But that's just the hope-- the fairy tales we tell ourselves to get through the work week. The reality of this message was simple. Lust. He never dared to address me in this manner but, I suppose he felt like he had nothing to lose....
His message said verbatim, "hey, want to get naked? "
To keep from bursting into tears, she engaged in some playful banter only to block him after.
There's a gaping hole in their character..... I guess the phrase, "You are the company you keep" reins more true than one could believe. Who do you hang around with?
I found nothing better than a classic chocolate bundt cake for these two nincompoops with a hole in their logic and an obvious hole in their heart that they can't be filled with pride.
- 1 cup unsalted butter,
- 1/3 cup cocoa powder
- 1 teaspoon kosher salt
- 1 cup water
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 3/4 cups granulated sugar
- 1 1/2 teaspoons baking soda
- 2 large eggs
- 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
- 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
- 1 1/2 tablespoons corn syrup
- 1/2 cup heavy cream
- 1 1/2 tablespoons granulated sugar
DIRECTIONS:
- Preheat oven 350 degrees F. Butter and flour a 10 or 12-cup Bundt pan and set aside.
- In a small saucepan, combine the butter, cocoa powder, salt, and water and place over medium heat. Cook, stirring, just until melted and combined. Remove from the heat and set aside.
- In a large bowl, whisk together the flour, sugar, and baking soda. Add half of the melted butter mixture and whisk until completely blended. The mixture will be thick. Add the remaining butter mixture and whisk until combined. Add the eggs, one at a time, whisking until completely blended. Whisk in the sour cream (or Greek yogurt) and the vanilla extract. Whisk until smooth.
- Scrape the batter into the prepared pan and bake until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean, 40 to 45 minutes. Let the cake cool in the pan for 15 minutes and then invert onto a rack. Let cool completely before glazing.
- While the cake is cooling, make the chocolate glaze. Place the chopped chocolate and corn syrup (or agave) in a medium bowl and set aside. Combine the heavy cream and sugar in a small saucepan and put over medium heat. Stir until the cream is hot and the sugar is dissolved. Pour the hot cream over the chocolate and whisk until smooth.
- Generously drizzle the glaze over the cooled cake, allowing it to drip down the sides. Cut into pieces and serve.
ser·en·dip·i·ty
/ˌserənˈdipədē/
(noun) the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.
This spurt of serendipity was in the form of a date. It wasn't quite cookie cut to the definition of this exciting word; it was all coordinated online, like countless others, but came to be pleasantly unlike much of the others. Our conversations, cohesion, and most of all, laughter was what completely took me by surprise. It's not that my expectations for the date were basement level, but I certainly didn't expect this.
After the lights were turned off, we found it best to show ourselves to the door. Ha! Okay, it was more of the mop bucket that cued our exit to stage left. As we left the restaurant, he walked me to my car; our feet stopped, but the conversation didn't slow its pace.
I took a risk and asked if he wanted a drive the two streets over to his car. He smiled and got in my car.
Stephanie, what REAL risk is that?
Well, glad you asked... on three occasions imprinted in my mind, dates have attempted to push their intentions on me physically-- two of which were in or near my car. Thankfully, he didn't make it a third.
Our conversation carried past the bewitching hour, in which once we noticed, we had no choice but to part. Without imposing a kiss, he declared his enjoyment and longing for a second and third encounter. I responded with some sly remark and smiled as he stepped out of the Honda and into a Ford.
Just the invitation for the next date was something to smile about. He proposed he fry me fish he caught... couldn't conceal that I was impressed. His dogs attacked me with love, he let me season the squash-- so naturally, they were spicy, of the Cajun variety, and he kissed me softly and sweetly in the kitchen. What a recipe for affection.
After such a kiss, he even voiced his reaction: "wow."
His blues eyes locked into my green ones and the night drifted away. We stayed up talking until 12:45 in the morning, when we both thought it was 10. I wasn't prepared for this kind of connection and THAT is what made it my own kind of serendipity.
With this one, there is more to come....
Homemade Reese's Cups: Another Happy Accident
- Combine 1/2 cup peanut butter, confectioners' sugar, butter and salt until smooth.
- In a microwave, melt chocolate chips, candy bars and remaining peanut butter; stir until smooth.
- Drop teaspoonfuls of chocolate mixture into paper-lined miniature muffin cups.
Online dating gets such a bad rep, but I find it quite humorous at times. Everything in life is what you make it and I'm a huge believer of that. This conversation was puntastic and had to share. He gave me his number so, naturally, I began the banter...
Oh man! Did I ever get excited just now to think I might have 15 pizzas coming to my door! No pizzas...just a girl yanking on my heart strings ☹️🥀
What else is new? LOL have you met the girls in this town😂 they're all looking for a slice🍕
Of course they looking for a pizza s'thing...What do ya expect from a bunch of meat lovers
At this point there's no topping them
They can be too saucy for my liking
The sausage is the one that's always packing the heat
I really don't have mushroom in my heart for em anymore
For real dough?
I think yer on a roll
I need to be baked in a flour
I can rise to the occasion
Knead* Parm! I would make it cheesy by making a spelling error
Some are just born & bread to be cheesy and others are like garlic and knot
I still believe a friend zone is a calzone you should share with your friends. Parmesan what I'm saying?
Zesty bestie. Pepper could ride shotgun if she wasn't such a flake.
Pepper is such a flake! Anytime her name comes up I'm just like "oh dear, oregano again!"
I'm alfredo we have a problem
So wine ought we talk about it
Once you uncork it it's magic, like pesto!
Olive it! 😍
I'm having mozz of fun
We're awesome..noone can tapas
Like the dough, that's a stretch
That joke like a pizza... You should prolly toss it
4 HOURS LATER
I would like to say I was sauced when I red your message ..
There's no subtle dessert to dish....
- Out of the Box Brownies (only a brand in my mind)
- chocolate peanut butter
- sprinkles
- M&Ms
- mini Milky Way bars
- marshmallow creme
Prepare brownie mix as directed on the back of the brownie mix box. Stir chocolate chips into brownie mix. Evenly, pour brownie mix into prepared pizza pan.
Bake for 25 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Let cool and top with chocolate peanut butter and sprinkle your favorite candy toppings atop. Use a pizza cutter to cut into 8-10 slices and enjoy!
https://deliciouslysprinkled.com/brownie-dessert-pizza/
Then, the first conversation that we talked about was how he was not going to date someone that lived in West Ashley because he lived in Mount Pleasant. For all of you out-of-staters, the equivalence in measurable units is approximately 7 miles... No grant it, that doesn't mean it's 7 minutes... It's more like 18 and sometimes more in traffic, but still.
He said that doesn't fit with his lifestyle and if he wants to get happy hour with someone, it would be impractical to live that far apart. Not to mention, the traffic debacle at 5. I kind of combated this with, but what if the person is so phenomenal that they are worth the headache of traffic? And his black and white answer was: I wouldn't let it get that far to have to deal with that up front.
Actual footage of the distance he wishes to be from his girl.
He said, "well, you live in Mount Pleasant, so we don't have a problem."
Actually, you being close-minded is kind of a problem...
Then again, not everyone has or ever will adopt the mind frame I have. I've done long-distance, more than once. I'm not thrilled about long-distance, but if the right opportunity presented itself and I felt like it was something that was aligned in God's path, then I would seriously consider it.
It sounds like distance is not even in his zip code.
Literally.
So, the remainder of the date seemed to go pretty smoothly, especially because he had so much experience traveling abroad. But, once he got his sixth Jack and Coke... It actually might have been 7th.... I'm not judging, I can put them away too but... He got to the point where he was slurring.
I had difficulty interpreting his comments, but that isn't even what what deterred me. He walked me to my car and was very gentlemanly with the expensive check, thank God because I could not afford 8 Jack and cokes, not to mention the 5 Margaritas I tanked BUT, once he brought me to my car, he did the awkward hug thing. Irked me, yet the best was yet to come.... He looked deep into my eyes and kissed me with his eyes open. The only reason I know that, is because I close them and then when I open them back up his were open. Eerie. Andddddd, I felt like I needed a raincoat.
The cherry on top was he drove home, slurred and all. Guess an uber was too inconvenient too.
This cake is called: Tell Your Neighbor Cake
*snickering quietly*
- 1(18 ounce) box chocolate cake mix
- 1(3 1/2 ounce) package chocolate instant pudding mix
- 1cup water
- 4eggs
DIRECTIONS
- Combine ingredients in large mixing bowl. Blend at low speed of mixer just to moisten.
- Then beat 8 minutes at medium speed or with wooden spoon.
- Line 10-inch tube pan on bottom with brown paper; do not grease pan. Pour batter into pan.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 50-60 minutes or until cake tester comes out clean.
- Cool right side up in pan 15 minutes; then remove from pan. Cool thoroughly on rack.
So, he picked me up, and we trekked that way. It was out in the country-country so-- at least a 45-minute drive there. Very friendly kind of encounter.. Quite technically it wasn't really a date. But, once we got through parking and I paid with my cash, he said he would pay for everything else. Naturally, I had no problem with that so, we walked the horse field with absolutely not a stitch of a hot air balloon in site.
Wait-- wait! We just drive 45 minutes to a Hot Air Balloon Fest to not see one hot air balloon? You got it! So we explored the land, collecting as many samples as possible, and then got food tickets to gobble up some royalty fried shrimp (that's the only logical explanation for their high price ticket).
Next, we ventured to the Polo Field and sat down where the grass wasn't necessarily wet... but, I was in a pair of black shorts that I was terrified would gain grass stains in the amount of time we were sitting there. Anxious, I blurted this concern out loud.
Naturally, he volunteered to asses the damage. He kept checking and said it was pretty noticeable, but not horrible. He even suggested he could take a picture of it with his phone and show it to me. I didn't fall for that one.
I mean... it's not like I was rolling in the deep...
This is actual footage from Saturday.... no wonder he didn't suggest we hang again before he returned to his traveling job.
Well, I guess since he figured he drove and picked up the tab, he earned a little sneak at my ass.... the latter part of the day. I guess it is time for clever weather! And, I suppose the moral of the story is: squats really do save lives.
I know, I know. Our calendar's mark could not be more the opposite of a dessert of this theme but, isn't it eggciting to break the rules?
- 3/4 Cup butter softened
- 1 Cup Sugar
- 1/2 Teaspoon Vanilla Extract
- 2 eggs
- 2 1/2 Cups All-Purpose Flour
- 1 Teaspoon baking powder
- 1/2 Teaspoon Salt
- 1/2 Cup butter softened
- 1 Teaspoon vanilla
- 2 Cups powdered sugar
- 2-3 Teaspoons milk
- 36 Chocolate Eggs like Mini Cadbury Eggs (Finding these after Halloween is like finding a golden goose! Maybe they can direct you where to find them?)
- Cream the butter and sugar until fluffy.
- Mix in vanilla and eggs until it comes together (right now. over me).
- Add flour, baking powder, and salt. Mix well.
- Spray a mini muffin tin with non-stick spray.
- Scoop one tablespoon of cookie dough to each muffin cup.
- Bake at 350 degrees for 11-13 minutes.
- Make your mark by pressing the back of a teaspoon into each cookie, thus creating a cookie cup.
- Chill out in the tray and then transfer to a cooling rack or just out of the pan if you're not about rack city (rack rack city).
Green Vanilla Frosting
- As for the softened butter, whip it. whip it good.
- Mix in vanilla, powdered sugar, mixing between each addition.
- Add milk, one tablespoon at a time until the desired consistency is reached.
- Add one, two, three, four drops (everybody in your car, well come on let's drive!)
Cookie Cup Assembly
- Place the frosting into a piping bag or for the resourceful bakers, a baggie with a corner snipped off. pipe (squeeze, really) grass into the center of each cookie cup. Place a m'nms (or if you found the golden goose with Cadbury eggs) on top.
http://mommymouseclubhouse.com/recipe/easter-sugar-cookie-cups/
- humor really is the best medicine
- comedy flicks, kettle-corn, and chocolate really do save lives
- it's incredibly what two little hands can do: writing, plotting, notating, whisking, kneading, clicking, thumbing, gluing, collaborating, creating, inspiring, painting, and a pinch of dating.
- there's a whole world of knowledge just waiting to be explored
- although a companion or a guide would be nice, they're not a requirement
- thus ultimately making travel arrangements
- fighting my apartment complex through the construction debacle
- avoiding media (for the most part... I have a healthy snap addiction) and living in the moment
But, most of all..... The greatest defense on your heart is your best friend
She advocates for me with all of my dreams, even if they negatively affect her. EXAMPLE: Me pursuing my dream to live by the beach, she threw the most confetti even if that meant our weekly interactions of cackling next to each other until we fall asleep after making a drunken grilled cheese, would be reduced to screen-time. She supported me and could not be more encouraging to my growth and need for exploration.
She defends me and is constantly reminding me of my worth and not to settle. This is quite a challenge for me, so she certainly has her work cut out for her.
Even from 1,128 miles (damn, we're devout) away, she still has this effect when one of the guys in my mix is... well, questionable, for lack of a better word.
She is one of the only devoted readers of my blog and is respectful of my choices, even if she sees they are headed for disaster. She's along for the ride and grieves with me when the result is combustion. This is just ONE instance of her going to bat for me without mercy for anyone trying to throw stones in my direction:
Stephanie is one of the most independent people I’ve ever known and she didn’t NEED anyone or anything. She travels the country herself; She doesn’t need some man trying to do all of it for her.
This amazing woman works 3 jobs and she gave every ounce of herself that she could to [others, that usually isn't] enough. Stephanie will move past this [and anything]. She will grow from this experience and make sure to not let in manipulative, disgusting, lowlife men who attempt to take everything from her in a way to somehow compensate for their own downfalls and disappointments in life. The positive thing is, Stephanie can see right through bullshit and knows that she saved herself by ending [any] toxic, suffocating, and controlling relationship[s]. ❤️
Did I mention she's a licensed counselor?
Here is textbook proof of how invested she is in my heart and relationships I choose to engage in.
She is always something I can have a little s'more of, so I have dedicated Reese's Marshmallow layered rice crispy brownies to her. I'm cereal how much I appreciate this girl!
- 1 18 oz box brownie mix (plus ingredients needed to make brownies)
- 1 7 oz tub marshmallow creme
- 25 Reese's miniatures, halved
- 1 12 oz bag semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1 cup creamy peanut butter
- 3 cups crispy rice cereal
Instructions
- Prepare yourself for this salty world by preparing brownies according to package directions for 9x13 baking dish. Chill out, like a great best friend enables you to and move to the freezer for approximately 20 minutes
- Spread deep-rooted loyalty cream (marshmallow) on top of chilled brownies and return to the freezer for 10 minutes.
- Top with "sugar and spice, and everything nice" aka: Reese's miniatures.
- "Some people are worth melting for." Melt peanut butter and chocolate chips in a microwave safe-bowl on half power in 30 minute intervals.
- Stir in crispy rice cereal (she's the best- for cereal!). Layer the mix over the top of the Reese's.
- Return to refrigerator for another hour before slicing up a piece of this heaven.
This is a selfie of Lauren from last weekend.... isn't she a dream?
I don't scare that easily
you can't push me away that easily
I'm always up for a little competition.
I'm incredibly confident.
Noooooooo! You think so? I'd say that's incredibly confident. This boy has more confidence in his left pinky toe than I do in my entire body. I'm not fighting you for that, I'm actually impressed. Well, speaking of impressed...
He too, is a writer. Man I can pick them. Which I only discovered when he requested to talk on the phone and I politely declined him that time. After jokingly alluding to me going on another date, I reveal proudly that I needed the time to write.
That opened the door to gush about his years of lyrical writing and the different bands he's been a part of and so on. Great! A musician and a writer. Man do I have a type. For the last couple years, I've taunted my best friend about dating military, skinny, cocky guys because that's always the bill that they fit. But apparently, my bill is writing, instrument-playing, kind-hearted (at least 3/8 of them), guys.
After talking for a couple weeks, I stumbled upon a patch of pretty bad days. And one of those days, he felt inclined to cheer me up with an Edible Arrangement. I've never gotten one before and I have to confess, it was quite delightful. Also, seeing the van pull up and then then walking to your office, when you're the only one in there, is a pretty cool feeling.
Yes. You caught me. I bit into the bottom,
second from the right BEFORE the picture.
Patience is NOT one of my virtues.
Then, to follow his sweet gesture, we finally met. The day he drove to my part of town, was the day I became really awkward. But Stephanie, haven't you always been awkard?
Psh! guys-- let me tell the story!
Do you ever meet somebody and just know they're not for you? Maybe not. Maybe I am vain. Well... then that would imply that I have a lot of pomp in my personal appearance which is not true... I wouldn't go as far to say that I'm shallow; I mean, I live by the ocean that's as deep as they come. But we met and I could not move forward.
I just couldn't picture us together out in public. I just couldn't see introducing him to my friends or family. It just.... I don't know. But I knew instantly. Well, the guy has a doctorate in pharmacy so, needless to say, he picked up on that pretty fast.
Immediately he said, "you're a fraud! You said that looks aren't everything and you want to enjoy someone's company because that's was going to comfort you when you're 80."
I don't think I said that verbatim... I thought in my head but... boy was right. I couldn't help but think because of the 15 year age-gap that, when I'm 80, he'll be..... well old and decrepit. Not saying I'm going to be a spring chicken at 80. God help me if I live until 80. This world has enough grief to put me in a grave at 30.
Flirty and 30 and diving into the dirt
The dessert most suiting and quite unique is hot cocoa cherry bombs. It's chocolate covered strawberry flavored hot cocoa bombs. I figured chocolate covered strawberry recipe with far too simplistic for a guy like this. Like I said, he's still a great guy.
Strawberry-Flavored Nesquik
Marshmallows of the mini-me variety
Handful of white chocolate chips and a pocket-full of sunshine-- I mean sprinkles
A mug of warm milk (or as many mugs as participants)
- Melt bag of chips in microwave safe bowl in the microwave at half power in 30 second increments. I know this seems meticulous but it ensures you will prevent "burn baby burning" the chocolate.
- Once melted and delicious (tasting sometime necessary), coat a silicone (that weird, bendy, and usually colorful stuff) tray with a thick layer of chocolate, all the way around the circle (or what ever shape you selected: Harry Potter lightening scar, R2D2's face... your choice ;)
- Freeze until firm.
- Once removed from freezer, fill with 3-5 mini marshmallows and a teaspoon of strawberry-flavored Nesquik.
- Top with more semi-sweet melted chocolate and pop back in the freezer.
- Once hardened (possibly 10-15 minutes?), melt whit chocolate chips and get those sprinkles ready.
- Drizzle BOTH on top. Yes. You can drizzle sprinkles.
- Submerge in your warm milk and watch the beauty unfold before your eyes.
- Look! "A perfect cup of tea, no?!" I mean cocoa. COCOA, Mrs. Doubtfire!
Face the warm reality that not everyone is going to be your type...
if you do it right, there really only should be one.
But when they're NOT your type, honesty... really is the best policy.
AND hot cocoa bombs. Those are a great policy too.
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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