Sorry for the hold up- WOAH THERE! I was busy dodging the bouquet at my beautiful cousin's wedding in Austin this weekend. No, for cereal though. There's pictures of my sister and I waiting until the flower bundle whizzed through the air until we "backed it up now y'all." I actually took some of the advice and heeded warning from the 60 responses I gathered from this poll series to avoid picking up a bad boy on my trip.... mission accomplished... this time. I'm a super visual person *moves hands in expression* and felt like this stellar bad boys series needs a conclusion with colors and Excel. #nerd #herecomethecharts #heheSNORThehe Obviously, this song defeats the purpose of this 4-part series but, I found it mildly appropriate and partially catchy.I've learned so much about the people that allowed me to interrupt their world to answer my little questions. They may not know it yet, but it has effected me in a big way. Thanks y'all.... from the bottom of my heart <3 And thanks for the new fans... if you're still there ;)) As for the day-ones.... We've been through a lotttttt of recipes and even more guys. Wish I could send you a care package of the greatest hits.... Hits to my self-esteem and waistline of course ;)) We've learned a bit in 360 posts!! EEEEEEE here's to 360 more! (It goes without saying that I have a drink handy for toasting ;) Now, compare this to the male perspective. I found this incredibly fascinating because guys were much quicker to respond and more of them offered responses. Was your quote one of the leading responses? Has your perception been altered? I still stand by mine... or rather, lounge by mine on the beach, doused in sunscreen and sand.Also, let the record show that while doing this poll, I received two comments confirming that these guys were indeed bad guys and a picture of a guy with a hard-on in his boxers. Don't worry, I'm going to spare you the visual. I wish I could spare myself! Another sent me a selfie of him shirtless and his bed saying that he was bored. People are unbelievable.
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In continuation of the boy's view... I had to set the soundtrack to the tune of this peanut butter and JAM from back in the day! #youtubeitnowThis project with polling friends, strangers, crushes, ex-flings, ex-wanna-be-flings, guys I've never met, and people I've only met once and there was a high probability we were intoxicated has really opened up the avenue for expression. Some of these responses were 10X longer than the quote submitted.Some responses were "off the record" while others lasted deep into the night. The benefit from the raw responses is obscene, for me at least. I hope you've found some sort of enjoyment in them--- maybe even a tilt in perception?"Girls like excitement and different things excite them at different phases of their life. At some point for some people its hittin the club or jumpin on and off a jet. If they see someone that can facilitate what excites them it attracts them. Nice guys are mostly shy and respectful. Most of their moves are calculated and I'm assuming they're also focused on a goal or something passion related. This is not always exciting because it might mean not going out all the time, telling the girl at the bar you think she's gorgeous, or doing other whimsical things." "Maybe just cuz the girls are dumb 😂" "I started to portray bad guy tendencies because I was always the good guy. I think there is a balance. Just have to figure out what works." "Two possibilities spring to mind here. The first is that the women in question are just incredibly immature to the point that they still crave excitement over stability. The other option is that there is an inherent desire to build something with your partner. If the guy you’re dating doesn’t own anything other than the motorcycle he picks you up on and the clothes on his back you’ve got a blank slate if the guy you’re dating owns a house has a good full-time job and a great credit score you have to make your life fit into his." "Simple. Bad is fun, or it seems that way. The highs seem higher because the lows are so much lower... who doesn’t love adrenaline?" "Most girls tend to date assholes bc they want that tough guy. If a guy is too nice, they think, he's not tough- he can't protect me." "because bad boys trigger attraction in a woman subconsciously. they display certain qualities or the illusion of. a “good” guy doesn’t trigger attraction; things like being a leader of men, protector of loved ones,they also give masculine energy and embody it. Whereas, a good guy in this day and age is more in tune with feminine energy in a world where men are raised by women, it's not really shocking. A bad boy will take a pic of girl in lingerie. A good boy will ask before taking the pic. By asking, the women lose attraction immediately on such a deeper subconscious level." "I don't know, Steph. I asked myself that question all the time." "One thought is that original sin came from Eve...so naturally women gravitate toward the “badder” of the bad guys. But that would be only if I wanted to start an argument. 🤣" "I've tried to get girls to drop the bad boy type a few times." "So, for 6 years, I was the bad guy to a beautiful soul. It wasn’t so much that I was a “bad guy”, i just grew up super rough and it made me appreciate the fine things in life. Yeah, I was wild and crazy, but I loved that girl with everything that I had, and did everything I could to keep her happy. I was her first boyfriend, first kiss, first everything, and we worked. Not only would I have given up anything for her, I think the excitement of new things for her was an attraction. Our families never really got along, her family hated me for “ruining” their daughter, no matter how much we loved each other. It got to be way too stressful, so like an idiot, i broke things off." "I would have been considered a "bad guy" when i was a youngster. 19-24ish. Trying to speak in code here...i was living a fast paced life style with money and access to things. The allure of the unknown is what i would say is so intriguing to young people men and woman alike. Now that i am older the bad guy thing has an entirely diff meaning." "A beta male is insecure. He is always going to text you, going to tell you he loves you and are pretty with lines. An alpha male has a foundation and is always going to be there for you but not always remember to tell you he loves you. A bad boy is more like a betta that has no concern for anyone but himself. He doesn't care about your emotions or tailoring things to you and part of that is how are you were raised specifically in relation to your father's role. He'll only give you attention when he wants to, kind of like a cat. When the cat gives you attention, you're like oh my gosh this is so great let me pet you! But when you want to pet the cat, it's nowhere to be seen." “I’m guessing here... dating a ‘bad’ guy may represent higher social currency as bad guys are usually troubled or emotionally unavailable. Another theory may suggest people like projects and the idea of changing or helping a bad dude improve seems interesting." "Girls like a guy with an edge. "Bad" guys will get girls over a guy who is perceived as boring every time. Then girls wanna complain why they cant get a "good" guy." " I think women love the chase. I think everyone loves the chase. We all want what we can have. I think it starts off as maybe enjoying being around each other. I think also a lot of guys have got hurt and dont wanna deal with it again and they wont try. But they also wont communicate with you about it. We also live in a society where more is better. So why be monogamous when you can have a ton of bitches! Hahah. But those are my thoughts. Everyone is different and depends on the person." "Because people are inherently stupid?" "I'm gonna cop out and say I think it depends on the woman. The only "real" answer is that it gives them something they want. Maybe she's lonely, or doesn't like to be lonely so she just grabs the first guy who pays her real attention. Which is usually some "bad guy" who just wants to get laid steady. Or for the night lol. Sometimes they see "good guys" as boring and they want some excitement in their lives. The list is very very long because each woman is looking for a different thing, wether they realize it or not. I don't think a woman says "you know what, Melvin the Engineer is a boring guy, I'm going to go down to the club and find a jerk because at least there will be something of note in my life," but subconsciously they make decisions based on what benefits them/gives them whatever it is they're looking for." "Haha I am an ex-bad boy, I hung up my badness in 2013 I believe. I'm just old now haha. Most of the girls that dated me then was because i was unpredictable, adventurous, never dull and for a select few it was to piss off their parents basically. But those relationships are always short lived or they could be hardly classified as relationships. Mainly just summer flings. And most bad boys end up like me living a mundane existence and single lol unless they settle down early or continue to be fuckboys well into their 40s I'm that kinda middle ground I guess? " "That kinda brings up another topic. You can't control who you're attracted to, but you CAN control who you dwell on or invest time in. At what point does the "badness" outweigh that attractionIt could also be statistics, too. It sounds like there are a lot more bad boys out there than good guys, maybe the good/bad part is irrelevant and it's something unrelated that attracts someone. But since there are statistically more bad boys, there is a better chance of finding someone you're attracted to who happens to be a bad boy." "My theory is as follows: women are nurturers and have been since the beginning of time. When a "good girl" sees a "bad guy" they are attracted to them because it's not what they are used to...it's "exciting" I suppose. So as nurturers the "good girl" wants to tame the wild beast 😂 She wants to make him change his ways and show all the other females that she was the one to conquer the untamable. But the funny thing is people don't change unless they want to. So it usually ends up a big heartbreaky mess. So the moral of the story is you have to love someone for who they are, not what you want them to be." The sweet side of bad boys can be illustrated by a Snickers Drama Cheesecake. It will dance on your tatsebuds, never last as long as you want, and caters to your nutty side...A girl that can see what she's getting into and still indulge, truly is a degree of nuts (guilty as this chocolate covered sin). For the crust::
For the cheesecake filling::
For the topping::
For the filling:
For the topping:
https://www.handletheheat.com/snickers-cheesecake/ A continuation of why girls, the really great girls, fall for bad boys....Are we imprisoned by their edgy look and questionable ambition.... or is it something deeper?"Bad boys are genetically more fun. Who wants to follow the rules? There's just something so much more appealing to me. They dress better, they have a sleeve of tattoos, and if you're lucky, a motorcycle. My mom and sister said they too would love states for my current bad boy. Bad boys are naturally players and of your psyche, your ID is narcissistic, so these boys feed that sense of self. If you get the bad boy, you feel like the girl next door. " "I was heartbroken and he gave me enough attention and kind of made me feel like I was needed. Even though on you, deep down. It wouldn't go anywhere. I was in a place where he fit the bill. The one time I didn't want something long-term." Your standards aren't even there and you were needing somebody and they were there." " I was much younger than I am now and much less experience than I am now when these bad boys made their way into my life. I was such a good girl and a good girl wants a bad boy. I was 16 and he was a bad boy and all his friends were and I just felt safe and secure around him. They are kind of a forbidden fruit that you have to have. He was such a douche and I never really got it got what I wanted, but I kept going after it anyway. He was a nice guy but his lifestyle made him bad." I LOVED how genuine these responses were from the dozens of girls I polled. Some of their perspectives really hit me in the gut. It made me realize... there's another vantage point completely neglected....It's a man's world (still...don't get me started. I'll sit down...for now), so let's get a man's perspective on why the grandest of girls go for the baddest of boys."Honestly I think because they don’t know what it’s like to be treated by a guy that has good intentions." "Either she really really cares and loves him no matter or doesn't believe anyone that he is a bad guy at all.... and I couldn't tell you why girls like that stuff. " "Bc good guys are boring and having something to fix is easy to confuse with someone to build." "Girls like danger. A guy with an edge to him will always get the girl over a guy who is perceived to be boring." "I would say it stems from insecurities." "It’s an ego thing, people want what they can’t have. They try and Change people. I feel like a lot has to deal with perception and how we were raised.Love languages are important and I feel like personality traits play a part also." "Usually it's because at first they make them feel secure and loved and over time the guy tends to forget that he still needs to show love and stops and sees the girl is still with him even though he's a dick . He gets a taste of that and has no reason to change . The girl stays with him because she thinks deep down inside he will change." "Good guys are boring." "Eventually yes, they go for the “bad” guy. Whether that means he’s a jerk or just a style or how he treats her or just not Mr. RightIn my personal experiences no one is ever really ready to find what they are actually looking forSo when they do they sabotage it and more often then not rebound or run back to what’s comfortable or safe, and even though on paper the nice guy seems like the safe choice relative to the bad boy, the nice guy is actually far more scary because he’s something to lose, he can hurt the girl worse than any bad boy ever couldI spent the last 2 years in an on and off relationship with my absolute soul mate. Over the course of the 2 years she ran 3 times. The first time she told me she loved me. When we started living together. And after she asked me to go ring shopping and we picked out a ring and put money down on it.Each time lead to a panic attack, freak out, anxiety whateverShe’ll always come back to me cuz she knows I’m the guy for her, but when she gets everything she’s ever wanted she loses control, has something to lose, is vulnerableSo more often then not in our swipe first, fuck second, feelings later society when people find the right one (guys or girls) they find a way to sabotage itAnd then it compounds because everyone gets sick of being the one getting hurt. I went and did the rebound thing after the last time we split up and I’m sure I hurt some feelings in the process (even though I was 100% transparent).A nice guy isn’t gonna give you a reason to leave, he’s gonna treat you right and what if you get scared? What if you’re not ready for forever? Then what?" "In my opinion I’d have to say it’s some sort of thrill. Possibly connected to some sort of childhood trauma if you will. But if someone believes that all of their partners are bad then they will constantly seek out bad partners to justify their thinking." "Well first off im 1 of the good ones 😂 but always wondered the same thing and why its always the really really good looking girls that seem to have it all that go for that type of guy. The girl i am currently seeing almost 2 months now yaaay go me 😂 u do chat about past relationships and things and she had been with ex's in the past shall we say none of them good... and she knew that going into those relationships and i asked why would any girl do that to herself if she knows the guy is no good will cheat, use, or abuse or whatever... she said she thinks girls like that that go for guys like that want that kind of a 'project' challenge whatever u wanna call it and be the girl to make that guy change for her... make of that what u may 🤔🤔🤔🙄🙄🙄 its a mystery that may never be solved... bad boys will always be popular and not going out of fashion anytime soon 😂" "I believe girls tend to fall for bad guys because they might feel like they have an exclusive ticket to being a part of the “bad guy’s” emotional and loving side. Everyone loves having access to something that is rare and I feel like it’s the same deal with girls and “bad guys”, they get to see their emotional side." "It goes back to prehistoric times then women choose on how big and strong as well as how many wives and children he has as the bigger the family the better the chance ofsuccess when hunting for food this attraction is still in women's DNA." " I guess it’s exciting maybe?" "Personally I think woman get bored; they want excitement. They always think of what could be more and never wanna settle for good. Good isn’t good enough they need change something different something dangerous something to excite them." "It's actually kind of simple; they think the good guys are boring. I mean if a good guy gets up goes to work at a good job where he can sustain a future he doesnt have time to devote every waking moment to someone and bad guys have made women so insecure and other women and their hoeish tendencies help create more insecurities that if he is 10 mins later than normal coming in from work because he stayed later she is going to wonder what he is doing or who he is with. Plus a bad guys will give a false sense of security every woman wants to feel safe and a good guy doesn't give them that because it goes back to they feel they are boring because they don't push the envelope or have friends they shouldn't hangout with because they know they can get in trouble and potentially mess up their career and goals. Good guys do end up getting a good girl in the end because a real woman falls for a good man while girls fall for the bad boy." There's a handful of lovely quotes still to be shared... catch ya on the flip side #sunnyside^So, I've reached the point in my dating where I've said goodbye to WAY TOO MANY good guys. Guys most girls would kill for! Guys practically made for Disney princesses.... but.... I find excuses and exit clauses and I break it off, much faster than a kitkat (no, I didn't give them a break). Sure, I've got my sights on things much more significant for my future than a guy right now, sure I've said I haven't wanted to be tied down to anyone right now, but then BAM! I find myself chasing after guys with caution tape ALL over them:
Why great, established women indulge in relations with bad boysNice guys really finish last and I have proof. I polled 25 successful, beautiful, and charming women that, in my opinion HAVE IT ALL. The question: "Why did you give a bad guy the time of day when you know DAMN-WELL he's no good for you?""You want what you can't have. You know it's never gonna happen and it's satisfying." "Good at sex 10000% main reason" "I don't think I've dated bad guys. All the guys I can think of were pretty nice and good and I’m on good terms with a good chunk of them" "So the first time we ever hung out we drank a whole water bottle of tequila that he stole from his parents, all while we were driving around in a golf cart. We actually ended up dating for two-and-a-half years. He was hott, he was a grade above me, but there were so many red flags! At the time, I just thought it was a great freaking idea." "I was fresh out of a breakup and I met this guy at the State Fair. After clicking, he revealed that he had just been arrested and was on probation. I still pursued dating him. He had a nice car (even though he had no license), he was older, from out of town, and my favorite, was he was unlike anyone I've ever been attracted to. Then, after we broke up, I dated his friend. He was even older. Super cute, a firefighter in training, and was very hard to get. That was intriguing. I almost became obsessed with him even though I knew he would never be in a relationship with me." "This guy had his own apartment downtown and we only dated three weeks.... But three weeks was something. He took me to a movie that was about how to make a porno. It was really weird that he would do that with me being 16! I knew he was all wrong but, he was mysterious. He was outside of my school, so no one knew him. Part of me wanted to go through a bad phase. I liked him because he was different. Any bad boy I have encountered was because he was different." "Several bad boys! They weren't good people and didn't treat me well. Then again, they're not like me. You want them to be different and I was looking for different in the wrong places." "Well thats a loaded question. I think many girls want to push boundaries and get the rush that 'bad boys' give you. Those type of boys make you feel alive and you can be someone your not in all other aspects of your life. If all of your life has been safe it's fun to be with someone that's not 'safe.' It's kind of like knowing storms are dangerous, but you still like storms and even want to go out and play." "Wilson in high school was my irresistible bad boy, because he was so edgy and different and I wanted to shock my friends with an older man who went awol from the marines." "I think I always thought he would get better, like he would say sweet things and that meant he was capable of doing sweet things deep down. BOY WAS I WRONG." "I was into a guy that was arrested for drunk driving a car that didn't necessarily belong to him. But, I'd been single a long time and well... Needed to get laid. I feel like that's what bad boys come down to sometimes." "Bad guys play games. Like you really have to chase them. It's kind of like a competition with yourself if you can get him." "Hahha probably not a bad boy cause that's not my type but defffff someone who wasn't good for me. Ugh wanted it to work so bad even though I knew it was a bad idea" "I don't know how to answer. It just is an attraction..." "Bad boys were always interesting to girls who grew up with restricted households. We want that thrill and feel of "danger". But in the end, the quintessential "bad boy" was unreliable, most likey unemployed or constantly in between jobs, or had a disgusting living situation. After a while, they lose their wow factor and we move on. Or some of us don't because we think we can change them for the better." "This guy was homeless, lots of baggage, and had NO interest in any kind of a relationship. He stood me up at least once, yet was the best sex I've ever had and was soooo hott. I'm sure he still is hott..." "It just.... kinda happens." "Because you know it won’t last long term....So you let yourself indulge and get to experience it while you can. No one actually wants to settle down with the bad guy. They know he won’t last." "Ahh, that bad boy! They're aloof; they don't care about anything. His mom was having a party and said he guessed he could take me there at the spur of the moment. When they see you, they want you right there. No date, just instant." 4 more said they don't go for bad guys.... mhmm ;)) lol jk I've accounted for their absence of bad boys. So, I'd like to say that girls are completely innocent in bad boy rendezvous... but, we knew what we were getting into.Tip to 5***** Guys: Mr. Ringo in Winner's CircleIf there is a league for good guys, this one is in the Winner's Circle. He's lived a lot of life, which I like to remind him in referencing when he graduated high school and what he was doing while I graduated college ... he has two beautiful children that he would honestly get the world to and quite frankly tries to. He's from the beautiful city of New Orleans, but relocated to Pensacola to be closer to his kids. And then he met this girl that he desperately wanted to get used to. The way her curly hair smelled, the way she cakled and threw back her head when he made a joke, the way she hinted that she's not staying around for a long, just made me want her more. Even sent her listings of apartments and one bedrooms for lease when she had trouble with her roommate. When she was studying for her first of several Insurance exams in the stress out of her mind and not responding to my text messages, my threw together a care package of chocolate and sangria explicitly from Spain and cute reminders that she is special and to never forget it. The way she eats more than just salad and seems to always have an appetite for new things just really keeps my ticker going. Not that I'm old or have any problems with my ticker... Especially around her. I took her to breweries around town just to see her light up at the stout and sour options. We've been out late in the beach, have helped her move, and gone to Bucee's in Alabama. Whatever she wants to do, I'm with it. She even got stared down at this bar we discovered was a lesbian bar (pictured^)She's not open with her past but I find it seeping out from time to time and I love just listening. She prized about mine, which I don't blame her Add I didn't know it was going on in that busy little mind of hers. She seldom wears a bra when we go out and she's only caught me looking once. Well, she's only called me out when she caught me looking once. Can you blame a guy?
I would date other girls if I had the interest, but with my limited time between this job that has me driving all over Florida and Alabama and the fact that I genuinely enjoy spending time with her, makes it pointless to seek other avenues or arms to be wrapped up in. I'm fine with her not being mine, because I know she's not the type to be strapped down. But I really would like to know what was going on in her head. Instead of her lame excuse that she was thinking of help how she didn't like the new deodorant she was wearing, or what kind of brownies she's going to make for her friend's birthday gift. She's quite a mystery and although I've tried to withhold some of my mystery, don't know how long it'll last. She always seems busy and I'll just be here- I hope she knows that.... It was time for Mr Woodstock to take me on a date. We were both unemployed, so it left our availability and date options wide open. I guess that's one of the perks of being unemployed, along with eating peanut butter sandwiches and leftovers from the neighbor's Cook-Out since a paycheck hasn't rolled in since January 11th. Peanut butter sandwiches are a perk- better than jelly sandwiches or a bowl of nails for breakfast. Without any milk Luckily, I just finished my first week of work so that's no longer the case. Then again, I miss all the free time that I still don't know quite what I did with. I guess hindsight is 24/7.... There's not a day that goes by of the seven we're given each week, that I don't think, "damn what did I even do yesterday or I should have called, accomplished, or demolished x y or l m n o p. Not to mention, I just got my first life insurance policy so needless to say, that is adulting at its finest. Will this 30 year old was sweet like syrup filling every compartment of your waffle. No I don't mean that pervertedly ... Way to go guys. Just kidding. He apps to meet any of your needs or at least address them. He was very transparent in his desires and ambitions and hurdles. He was raised a Boy Scout in which he recited the oath to me. "Wilderness explorer!" Or maybe that was Russell from "Up." If he were a Disney character, that's certainly who I would peg him as! He left the date idea to me by presenting three options. He had a bag in his car to accommodate each choice. I can't remember the other two choices but I selected the Fort Pickens option. After lubing up with my SPF 100, good luck sun, we embarked and joined the 1 o'clock tour. About 15 minutes in, we ditched the tourists and meandered to an area built for a view but the ladder rungs were blocked. That didn't stop either of us. After exercising a little parkour that neither of us knew we, we made it to the top from breathtaking views. This word remind me a lot of villains in Charleston. Obviously I know much different Wars but, still u.s. history. There were several spots along the fort where he kissed me; quite romantic. Then, because he falls in the category of men that actually listen, he brought me to the largest Irish Pub possibly in Florida. It was Bloody brilliant. Yes, Irish folk say that as well, it's not just Brits. Trust me I'm good friends with one. ;)) And he took me home and planned our next date. I was sure to make it clear, as always, that I was dating other people and he certainly made it clear he was only interested in dating me. It evoked a little bit of guilt I'm not really sure that it was intentional ... I'm such a guilt driven person . On our second date, he took us to the beach, which exhibited my classy side, sporting rolled up Soffe shorts as a swimsuit bottom. Having both sets to your swimsuit is not a luxury that a homeless girl can have. With my best friend and I continue to move from house to house until the one we were promised in Pensacola is ready. The latest update? August 2019. When was the original plan for completion ? November 27th 2017. Life Is Fun. Also, anyone that knows me, knows that my patience is that of a four-year-old. And my sweet tooth... which he actually entertained on this date. He brought me to get alcoholic milkshakes OHHHH YEAHHH. I found that most appropriate for the recipe today. I also want to try in good old Pensacola since that's where he was born and raised so today's dessert is a Bushwacker. Bushwacker
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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