"God doesn't bless where you don't belong"I'm a SUCKER for the story. Another guy I met in real life.
Flirty banter, per usual. But looking back on the convo, it was really little effort on his part...He used one of MY messages as a segway to set-up a date. Hmm... Humorous part is I was leaving a date when he inquired if I was still out. I informed him of my double the next day and asked, "who said I wanted you to crash my party?" He assured me it would be adding to the party. "Shhhyeah, but it is crashing the party if it's a date. For all you know, it could have been." #guilty He used THAT as his opportunity to ask me out!!! "Maybe Friday evening we can't do that?" I had to ask for clarity and he indeed asked me out. Sure, I'm not an innocent party here but then again, I was honest... he just didn't believe me. *shrugs* He picked a place for us to meet. Didn't even offer to pick me up. CLUES? So how does a lady respond to that? Well she get's her best friend to drop her off and she pregames, of course! 3 shots of vodka in on an empty stomach and I strut up the alley. Bowling alley that is. He said I looked beautiful and put our name on the bowling list. We made our way to the bar for MORE drinks. It was 8pm because he had just gotten off work so I know he didn't have time to eat. After our second drink at the bar I asked, "are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Well I'm gonna have to eat soon with drinking. I had a couple shots before I got here," I confessed. He laughed. "Cause I took so long? Yeah, we can eat after this." If this "clue" wasn't enough, he didn't wait for a romantic moment or comment, he just leaned over and kissed me. Drunk me kissed him back and lingered. *facepalm* After sweeping the lane and striking my 6'2 date out.... errrr sparing some time to show him how to bowl. I asked where we were getting nourishment and if he could give me a ride home. He said he didn't mind the place we picked was 3 minutes in the opposing direction of my house and then we got a booth. More kissing commenced and he revealed his 10 year relationship that ended 3 years ago. Things still seemed to be moving along. Hand holding, he didn't get my door, but I was still into it. Also, I was still inebriated. 8 shots of vodka, whiskey, and vodka redbull will do that to ya ;) Outside my house was where my puzzler got sore. He..... hope there's not sensitive ears here. He bent me over his car and pressed against me like a thumb to a stamp on the corner of an envelope. One large hand tugged at my hair while the other lightly gripped my neck. His tongue found my neck and just when my breathing quickened he backed up. Gasping for air I turned my whole head, staring at him blankly. "I have to work tomorrow at 6am." "Wow, you're a tease." He smirked before I could say, "wow, that's what this feels like." I scoffed and turned toward the gate outside my house. I muttered a wish of safe travels and luck for his shift tomorrow and I punched my number into the gate while he backed up. I don't even think he checked to see I made it into the house before peeling onto the road. Texted me two hours later "I'm home" when he only lives 40ish minutes away. From there, the conversation was about the business he had ahead and friend he was picking up from the airport. I can't be jealous if it was a girl but that was when our convo ended. ^^Even his mailbox has a red flag! I guess all do but... I liked him :(( I asked God if this boy was just going to hurt me, to remove him from my life."And he did." Not gonna correct the grammar or point out that a text message takes all of 58 seconds; I'm just going to take Blue's clues and God's answer to my prayer. 2 cups blanched almond flour
1 cup creamy almond butter ½ cup maple syrup 1 tsp. vanilla extract ½ tsp. cinnamon freeze-dried blueberries sprinkles
https://www.nickelodeonparents.com/these-blues-clues-you-cookies-are-all-bark-no-bake/
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Season: Winter 2022 Location: Arlington, TX Mr. Trucking to Bucking was quick-witted and flirty and direct. All qualities that peaked my interest but inevitably lead to his downfall. Our first date, after weeks of phone calls and humorous story ping-ponging, took place in his town a couple minutes from his favorite watering hole. Okay, I drink like a fish so not a problem yet.... his approach to the whole date is probably what hammered the nail for him. "We're gonna have a good time obviously so you can spend the night and if you'd prefer, you can sleep on the couch." Unsure if I should react to him offering to put me on his couch IF I preferred or to him thinking that on the first date I was going to spend the night. Mama didn't raise no: fool, pansy, introvert, or lightweight. I popped back like a rubber band being stretched to its limit. Not to mention I was slightly frustrated in his assumption that I couldn't hold my liquor. I don't put myself in the situation where I lose ability in my cognitive functions, ESPECIALLY when:
His response was a car alarm at the flea market. "GOD. I was even hesitant if I should say that. No, I don't think you're kinda girl. Damn, so dramatic." I said something to the effect of standing up for myself.... chivalry... blah blah... feminism.... blah blah there's girls everywhere that spread like frosting but it ain't me. I have a feeling that's what he heard. I'm not sure if he couldn't find a replacement date in time or really liked the challenge to see if I could still be lulled to his original plan, but we still had the date. I'm sure you've got your gavel ready to judge lil ole datesandcakes over here but.... well, you would be right. Nothing really came of the date. SURE, I enjoyed the Korean BBQ, sake bombs, bar banter, and he even gave me a Harry Potter magazine he picked up in a truck stop off Highway 66 but.... guess he didn't find it magical because I declined his offer 3x for more shots. I had four and kept my ground. Then, ironically, didn't keep my eyes on the ground because I fell in a hole. LITERALLY. With my left sprained ankle. Dropped me off at my car with a hug and crickets. Oh gosh not real ones. That's a literal nightmare of mine. He messaged me two days later asking if my ankle was alright and I said no and then never heard from him again. Been reel. Better drop a new line. Would love to call this dump truck cookies but we didn't get to the stage where dumping could even happen. |
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There's been SO manyyyyyyy examples of this in my "dating." The current shut-down status of the world begged for the quotation marks because it seems globally we are shutting people out since life as we know it has shut down and rerouted our day-to-day existence. I cannot tell you the last time I actually felt like I "dated" someone. Seems lonely, but is only at times I'm not pushing myself for better.
Actually, datesandcakes' science of attraction and downfall of all the connections I've had in the last year (let's not bite off more than we can chew ;) could really be summed up to one painful truth. It's a personal problem. As arithmetic taught me, I'm the common denominator!
So, here's to working on me and maybe my next hypothesis will be have some ground to stand on.
You hear the man! And what better pair of flavors that exude the "laws of attraction" than.... (drum roll please)
Don't be peanut butter and jealous... as always, I share the recipe. I will say, that picture was for comedy purposes and this is the one DatesandCakes will be making:
- Cake:
- 1/2 cup salted butter, softened
- 1/2 cup peanut butter
- 1 cup light brown sugar
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup whole milk
- Frosting:
- 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened
- 1/2 teaspoon unsweetened grape Kool-Aid mix
- 3 Tablespoons grape jelly
- 3 1/3 cups powdered sugar
- 3 teaspoons warm water
- Additional peanut butter and jelly for garnish, if desired
- Purple food coloring
- Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour 3 (8 inch) round cake pans and set aside. Alternately, you can make 2 thicker cakes.
- In a medium bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Set aside.
- In the bowl of your mixer, beat butter, peanut butter and both sugars on medium speed for 2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each. Beat in vanilla extract.
- With the mixer on medium low, beat in flour and milk alternately, starting and ending with the flour mixture. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and give the batter a good stir from the bottom with a rubber spatula.
- Spread batter evenly in prepared pans and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until top springs back when lightly touched in the center. Remove from oven and let cool in the pans for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.
- Prepare frosting:
- In the bowl you your mixer, beat butter, Kool-Aid mix, and grape jelly until smooth. With the mixer on low, slowly add powdered sugar, a little bit at a time, until just mixed in. Add warm water food coloring and slowly increase mixer speed to high. Beat for one minute, until smooth and fluffy.
- Stack and frost cake. If desired, chill after frosting, until firm, then top with peanut butter and jelly for garnish.
When they didn't seem to savor their first slice.
I thought some of these connection casualties would have left me empty, like a "shell" of a person.... Turns out, they were just shell-fish and now are new additions to "crusty" remains of relationships that could have been. You know what the ball of painful puns means....
Time for the KRUST
- 2 and 1/2 cups (315g) all-purpose flour (spoon & leveled)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 6 Tablespoons (90g) unsalted butter, chilled and cubed
- 3/4 cup (148g) vegetable shortening, chilled
- 1/2 cup (120ml) ice water
Instructions
- Mix the flour and salt together in a large bowl. Add the butter and shortening.
- Using a pastry cutter (the one I own) or two forks, cut the butter and shortening into the mixture until it resembles coarse meal (pea-sized bits with a few larger bits of fat is OK). A pastry cutter makes this step very easy and quick.
- Measure 1/2 cup (120ml) of water in a cup. Add ice. Stir it around. From that, measure 1/2 cup (120ml) of water– since the ice has melted a bit. Drizzle the cold water in, 1 Tablespoon (15ml) at a time, and stir with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon after every Tablespoon (15ml) added. Do not add any more water than you need to. Stop adding water when the dough begins to form large clumps. I always use about 1/2 cup (120ml) of water and a little more in dry winter months (up to 3/4 cup).
- Transfer the pie dough to a floured work surface. The dough should come together easily and should not feel overly sticky. Using floured hands, fold the dough into itself until the flour is fully incorporated into the fats. Form it into a ball. Divide dough in half. Flatten each half into 1-inch thick discs using your hands.
- Wrap each tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
- Roll out one disc with a pin (preferably not bowling). Start from the center of the disc and work your way out in all directions, turning the dough with your hands as you go.
- Lay it down to sleep in a 8" pie dish and pierce center with fork multiple times (like these dates and cakes features did with your heart)
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1/4 cup cornstarch
- 2 cups half-and-half
- 4 egg yolks
- 3 tablespoons butter
- 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
- 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract, divided
- 2 cups whipping cream
- 1/3 cup sugar
- Garnish: toasted coconut
Step 2
Stir in butter, 1 cup coconut, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Place plastic wrap directly on pan to cover and let stand for 30 minutes. Spoon custard mixture into crust, cover and chill 30 minutes or until set.
Step 3Using an electric mixer, beat whipping cream at high speed until foamy; gradually add 1/3 cup sugar and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla, beating until soft peaks form. Pipe or spread whipped cream over pie filling. Garnish with toasted coconut if desired.
https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/coconut-cream-pie
Although my favorite Disney princess has always been a 3-way tie between Pochahontas, Mulan, and Belle, I have always wanted to be referred to as "Belle with her nose in a book." Even if someone somewhere just said it once.
I used to spend hours in the Mount Pleasant library, 4 minutes from my house, collecting travel books, cookbooks, and devotionals for rent. There was one time when I even felt the eyes from the security guard on me; not because he thought I slipped a book in my bag without checking it out, but with interest of some sort. Then again, it could have very well been in my head. ;)
Fast Forward to my library adventures in Texas post-heart expenditure: November 2020.
Heart Expenditure (noun): The state in which one's heart has let too many "potentials" in, only to be underwhelmed. In this datesandcakes definition specifically, it was allowing 4 guys into my heart space in the span of 7 months. If you're thinking the math doesn't add up, you'll be happy to learn that insecurity was my common denominator. All of them retreated and I was left with the wreckage of myself and my own undoing in November 2020.
Instead of living out the definition of insanity, I tried a new hobby to distract me from dating and breaking down. If you've ever sat in a room with me, you'd know within seconds that I do not. sit. still. So, reading novels has always been a struggle, even in school with AP classes that required summer reading. But, here I was, looking, hoping for something new.
- That's SUCH a compliment that you pegged me for a reader and a deliberate reader at that
- There's a reason I grabbed fiction murder mystery versus relationship/self-help reads... I want to know how it feels to see the protagonist continually put themselves in poor decisions and yet make it out alive; I know my mom and KC have both wondered that after reading or hearing about a handful of my craziest dates.
- Am I easily distracted? guilty. Am I a hopeless romantic? guilty. Have I self-sabotaged some of the good ones? guilty. Do I flee from comittment because I fear it could feel like a life sentence? also guilty. So.... what was that about me being innocent? ;) Wouldn't make for an interesting read or viewing (if tuning into the vlog) if I wasn't truthful even if it makes me look bad.... haha you should see me hungover!
- If you choose to ever pick up these INCREDIBLE reads, you will learn each woman has her secrets and stains that no amount of bleach could wash. I am not above this.
These books actually helped me realize how many of the guys I've dated are and will always be, strangers. I knew more about these characters and how they face fear, mortality, morals, integrity, and greed than the four from the pandemic.
But being totally shallow here (because deep down, we all have been at one time or another), these two titles scream some of my insecurities that lead me to date these guys that were not fit for me. AT ALL. I wanted to be a pretty thing on his arm and gosh, did I want to be seen. But the more carona cases reported, with maps stretched as far as the screen can capture, the more people I realize are out there that could be that match. Maybe my pretty thing is in Morocco and I've been too distracted with the wrong corners of the compass.
I'm alone and could not be happier.
.... I don't know if that's gasp worthy or cliche but.... today, at this moment while clacking this blog out, pressed against a heating pad when I should very well be asleep, I'm at peace with saying that. :)) The cakes will still be baked, the vlogs will still be recorded, and God knows the attention will still be yearned for, but I'm hopefully going to approach it better. Here's for hoping and for new hobbies!
Single Ole Bird Left With Pieces
- 6 Tablespoons salted butter
- 8 cups mini marshmallows
- 12 cups Rice Krispies cereal
- Non-stick foil
- A light-weight cup (I used a red solo cup)
- Cooking spray
- White paper
- Clear tape
- Tooth picks
- Reese's Pieces or whatever "stuffing"you want
Instructions
- Cover the cup with foil and make sure the non-stick side is up on that as well. Spray it well with cooking spray.
- Lay out a large piece of foil with the non-stick side up next to the serving platter.
- Melt your butter over medium heat.
- Spray a mixing spoon with cooking spray and stir in the marshmallows until they've melted.
- Remove pan from heat and stir in your Rice Krispies until well combined.
- Pour this mixture onto the piece of non-stick foil and allow it to cool for a moment or two.
- Working fast, divide the Rice Krispie Treat mixture so that there's 2/3 of it to make the body and set 1/3 of it to the side to make the wings and drumsticks.
- Starting with the 2/3 portion of the Rice Krispie Treat mixture, take a small amount of it and create a base about an inch thick on the serving platter.
- Place the cup on it's side onto the base so that open part of the cup is slightly off of the base where the turkey's opening will be so the majority of the cup is laying on the base.
- Build the rest of Rice Krispie Treat mixture around the cup to create the turkey's carcass with the cup in it's cavity (once this is set you'll be able to pull the cup out and stuff it with candy). Make sure the mixture around the cavity isn't too thin. Be sure to press the mixture in well so that it's not too loose when it dries.
- Next, take the other 1/3 of the Rice Krispie Treat mixture and divide it into four parts.
- Use each part to mold two drumsticks and two wings and set them aside and make sure you press them into shape tightly. (I kept these on the a separate pan lined with non-stick foil- keep in mind that you'll want to shape the wings so that the thinner back parts of them go up in different directions since they will be on either side of the Turkey).
- Cover everything with the nonstick side of the foil and allow it to rest and set for at least 30 minutes in the refrigerator (overnight is preferable).
- To make the bone end of the drumsticks, take strips of white paper, and fold them in half length-wise.
- Cut half way up along the fold every half inch or s and wrap it around the ends of drumsticks and secure with a piece of clear tape.
- Use toothpicks to carefully secure your drums and wings to the turkey (this can be a bit tricky and you'll need to rig it up the right certain spots depending on your drumsticks and gravity).
- Stuff the turkey with candy and serve birrrrrr birrr birrrr birrr birrd bird bird is the word.
An excerpt from DatesandCakes in the early days:
The Connection?
Since I haven't posted much since the last ache, this story is recovery.
- I was obviously, painfully not looking for anything else
- I was ready to shake my ass with no restrictions
- I was ready to pump my body with liquid courage that I didn't need
- I was dolled up and smiling with the bestie near by
Wait... what? Gave ya something to chew on, huh? ;)
Lol anywhooooooooooo
My eyes trimmed in coal mascara skimmed the bar. They came to a screeching halt when I read a graphic t-shirt that read: pizza planet.
There's something about an accent so thicc, I can spread on toast...
haha I HAD TO with the zillenial spelling of the word thick ;))
Well, this gent and I got to talking about interests and he said he lays pie-puh for work.
I'm sorry, what?! Accent so thick, I could spread it on toast! It was sweeter than the green apple crown he got me. Then, ADHeffingD Stephanie tuned into the Shakira song that the dj delighted the honky tonk with. Without missing a beat, this country stranger from Oklahoma got to see first hand, Stephanie in her natural habitat.
Breaking it down on the dance floor like I was back in Spain with that strong Reggaeton beat, I was in my element. Not quite a spectacle, but the Crown maybe told me a different story.
As soon as the genre changed to country, he, Mr. Other Accent of Honey approached me and spun me into a two-stepping spree. I have no clue what song it was, but I beamed. I loved it! A country nerd spinning and twirling me around in the moment like a bowl of whipping cream and powdered sugar.... foreshadowing. At some point, he asked for a kiss, but I told him this wasn't Hershey's.
As we turned, so did the clock and closing time was calling us home. We stepped outside as a group; him and his friend invited us back to their lake house, but before the invite fully dropped out of their mouth, I politely declined.
Mr. Other Accent of Honey turned his head, "Wool, ken I at leeeest git yur phoooone number?" <<<best phonetic imitation of this bearded Okie.
I slyly shook my head, with no fear of becoming dizzy. My bestie I suppose showed her sly side by slipping my number into his phone while I turned to look for our Uber. We parted ways with a smile and I knew that was the one and only time I'd hear that honey drawl and I was completely content. I kneaded that (like fresh dough on a floured surface). How simply our interaction illustrated that there are plenty of southern fish in the sea; some that are just here for fin and some that didn't belong in your part of the ocean anyway.
Actual footage of my heart:
- Measure equal parts of heavy whipping cream and powdered sugar in a deep bowl (about the depth you get with the wrong guys)
- Pour pure vanilla extract into bowl to your liking. Like the collateral damage, I hardly measure vanilla. Possibly 3 teaspoons, if I HAD to guess?
- Whip with a hand mixer until thicc
- lol. Ole fashioned hand mixer works better here than a standing mixer like a Kitchen Aid. To all the young bakers, I wanna shout, "Back in my day, I had to hold the mixer in one hand and stay in one place, which is a chore for a traveling girl like me. Oh and get off my lawn!" Just kidding! Gypsies don't have lawns lol
You Only Live Once (YOLO) so 2 years talking and 4 days in my bed and he's "just living for the moment."
Remember the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?" Well.... DatesandCakes has her own real approach on it!
Guess I'll have to continue to play the cards I've been dealt.
Anyone that has underestimated Steph or DatesandCakes is gravely mistaken-- including Steph herself.
I didn’t think you are sleeping w all these guys. Don’t worry about what others think, it is none of their business, and everyone has their own lenses for the world. You are making the best decisions for you and your life. I wonder what dessert that would be, one for you, a big heart for loving yourself so well and not settling out of fear, boredom, or hormones!
I've been running this race of life in a unique pair of shoes that have more than "soul." I've prided myself on not checking (or climbing inside) the boxes society has built:
~no kids
~no wedding
~no dog
~no house
~no tenure
~no debt
~no regrets
~only in love once
I've got more issues than Travel & Leisure, but you bet your sweet pippy, I'm still worth the read. We can take turns and one of us may want to turn around, but I'm going to smile more about getting the emotions and experiences out on paper (digitally). Getting it out is half the battle.
Aside from God and my friends (which are people that treat you like family; many happen to be blood), travel is what makes me tick. It's quite literally what I live for and dream about. Recently, and quite often in the past, I've had people cast disapproval on me for that "lifestyle." The guilt made me cower in the conversation like a hermit--- which could not be the furthest animal in comparison to me! My wit is a cheetah, my humor is a hyena, my commitment to a cause I believe in is a dog, and my endurance is a zebra. My emotions and existence is a zoo, but I'm worth admittance :))
*this applies to you*
After all, we're all running the race, but the real value is not in the crowning, but that you finish. And, that you gave it your damndest.
To be called a "horse's ass" may be a great insult, but is it worse than half-assing something?
In response to the challenge my blog friend, Anne posed, I have selected a decadent dessert for a sweet traveler empath; a triple threat needed to earn title of triple crown.
**Fun Fact: Stephanie actually means "crown"**
Kentucky is 1 of the 24 states I've visited. Practically 1/2 way there ;)))
The Dessert I Designated for Myself (for once) is Kentucky Derby Day Pie
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup flour
- 2 eggs slightly beaten
- 1 stick butter melted
- 1 cup pecans chopped
- 1 cup chocolate chips
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 unbaked 9" pie shell because I'm enjoying it today, since I often "fill" others around me anyway :))
- Preheat oven to 325.
- Mix sugar and flour well. Even though it's a different kind of flower, pick YOU.
- Add eggs, butter, vanilla, and subtract guilt.
- Add pecans and chocolate chips. Mix well.
- Pour into pie shell and bake 45-60 minutes or until golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean in the middle. If your crust starts to get too brown before the middle is cooked, you can cover the pie with foil and continue baking.
Oh! I broke two toes... did I forget to mention?
Well, on a beautiful October night in Fort Worth, I made the first bone break/fracture/sprain of my entire existence on this planet. My best guy friend in Texas...
[Side note: I have 3 best guy friends that are differentiated by location. They have earned their title in this chronological order:
- Texas- code name "Kitty" from Monster's Inc. Yes, I am "boo." Established in 2016
- Charleston- code name "The Beard to be Feared." We share the same favorite beer brewed in Kilkenny, Ireland; we shared it locally at Madre Rua in The Low Country. Established in 2018
- Mobile- code name "The Desk." We had failed travel plans but he's a great goober to keep around. Established in 2019]
Achem. Now back to the story! **There will probably be several more side bars. I regret nothing**
Meeting up with his crew (consisting of all couples this time), we began our own bar crawl and hit the high points of West 7th Street.
"Dude, my toes are killing me," I blurted to "Kitty."
"Steph, stop being a little BITCH!" he laughed, ordering two of his go-to vodka and Redbulls. Passing one over to me, we exchanged a smile and I swallowed the pain and the blueberry flavored energy drink with bottom-shelf vodka.
In between engaging in conversation with his friends and scurrying over to the dance floor that was illuminated with spinning lights and 10-year-old hip hop, I developed a new dance move:
"Gosh [Kitty], I'm in a 9 out of 10 in pain and I don't have insurance. What the fuck am I gonna do?"
"Shit dude, I don't know," he slurred.
"I'm gonna get another drink."
"Ayeee!" He cheered.
While waiting at the bar, I watched the male bartender on the north side flirt with a pair of blondes while popping open two slim, silver cans. Once setting them on the bar, they were revealed to be nothing other than White Claws. I chuckled at the stereotype and an array of endless memes crossed my mind.
Smiling, he fired some flirty compliment across the bar I didn't commit to memory.
"A vodka soda would be delightful if you don't mind."
"Certainly, babe."
Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my card as I looked over my shoulder. The two blondes with White Claws were watching. Awk-ward, I thought.
Sliding my card on the only part of the bar that was dry, I thanked the flirtatious bartender. Thinking to myself, I swear, if this fool winks at me.... and he did.
Good grief, Charlie Brown. I retrieved my card and passed the White Claw representatives. After returning to the table, one of the girls in the group rocking a pair of Vans informed me we were going to stay at her place.
"Oh, are you sure?"
"Steph, look at him. You really think [Kitty] can drive? And you can't drive a stick."
Not in any state to argue with her facts (Lysol kills 99.9% of germs), I nodded and offered a "thanks, girl."
We made it back to her and Kitty's best friend in the group's apartment, revealing a sofa-bed for the two visitors, Kitty and I. Needing some air, I walked onto the patio with the girl rocking the Vans. Both feeling our drinks a little, it turned into a confession session. She asked why I was so adamant about me and kitty being friends and colored us as 'a cute couple.' I brought up the past and his reputation in high school, in which he dated 3 of my friends... some, concurrently. Then, called me "Sarah" when he saw me at a bar 7 years after high school.
Wait. Hold up. Carry the one.... yup, the math computes: I'm old.
She told me what I should've seen then, "But, that was the past...."
The stylish girl with the Vans had many other insightful things to say that night, but I am still transfixed on those 5 words. Gah, how many times have I let it rule me, stop me.... and even change me? I always gloat that I wouldn't change my past because... you guessed it-- It made me who I am. But the Stephanie today has to beg the question, why do I let it define a person and actions moving forward? Fear of repeating history. That's why it's a tested subject in school, isn't it? To prevent a revolving hamster wheel reality. This revelation did not hit the drunk, blue-streaked brunette with two broken toes... no, no. Instead, this clumsy creature was hit with the spins, nausea, and a hell of a hangover the Sunday to follow. I stayed balled up on my side of the spring-supported bed until it was time to recover in my own bed.
I limped out of Kitty's car and phoned guy friend number 3 to seek medical advice. After free consult from the highly-acclaimed medical trainer, "The Desk" deemed they were broken. Even if I had the concept, an American over 26 with a job that doesn't offer benefits doesn't have the luxury of, the doc couldn't do anything but put it in a boot and collect his/her copay. So, I polled the audience and found a boot I could borrow ;) Shout out to Elle.
Don't believe me?
GASP! Did she just admit...
You bet your friendship I did! Oh, speaking of friendship-- today's blog post is brought to you by a foundation for a delightful loaf bread called Friendship Bread. You can't make the bread without this labor-intensive "starter."
"Kitty" could not have been more apologetic when I informed him of the breakage.
"Shit, Steph! You were for serious!"
"I know you can feel my eye roll through this phone line," I spat.
Laughter was exchanged on both lines of the phone and we made plans for his birthday bash.
This story became the staple when people asked what happened when they saw my boot.... Feeling a sequel coming on..... hold the drum roll and my earrings!
To Start the Recovery of Brokenness, Amish Friendship Bread Starter
- .25 ounce active dry yeast (or 1 packet)
- ¼ cup warm water 110° F/45° C
- 1 cup flour
- 1 cup sugar
- 1 cup milk
Instructions
- In a small bowl, dissolve yeast in water. Let stand 10 minutes.
- In a 2-quart glass, plastic or ceramic container, combine 1 cup flour and 1 cup sugar. Mix thoroughly with a whisk or fork.
- Slowly stir in 1 cup milk and dissolved yeast mixture.
- Cover loosely and let stand at room temperature until bubbly. Consider this Day 1 of the 10-day cycle.
A map contains infinite road ways to my heart; mine presently has 9 countries and counting.
My road of singleness is a blessing. Being the sole navigator to my next destination is liberating.
- quit my Job in Charleston at the start of 2019
- drop my car filled with all my belongings in Pensacola
- move to Spain in January for a few months and frolicked to other countries on the weekend
- stand in two weddings in Dallas in March and then proceed to a downtown city in the Florida panhandle
- explore the white sandy beaches in Pensacola until summer ended
- September was for shifting from Pensacola to New Orleans to Manhattan to Charleston to San Antonio to Austin
- October was split between Dallas and Charleston
- The holidays seem to be Dallas bound until Christmas itself
I'm kind of a bad ass bitch (no DNA test needed) and a force to be reckoned with because I survived the alleged sex trafficking and terrorism in Europe. I actually enjoy spending time with myself, which is contrary to how I felt before this trip. I learned I don't want to tolerate life, but enjoy it. My initiative on this trip proves that I have the power to change anything that makes me unhappy my life, within reason of course.
I also learned, not in a feminist way, but empowering way that I don't need a man. Like fighting this societal trend of pressuring you to feel like you need someone else to be complete when you're rapidly approaching the age of 30. I didn't let myself down. And honestly, people thought I would be home sick and get sex trafficked or kidnapped or would have you and I had nothing but great stories to come back with and a certain fulfillment that I wasn't even looking for....
Like the dots on a map, the raspberries are just that; sweet upon meeting and tart upon departure.
Raspberry Chocolate Truffle Cake
- 6 large eggs, at room temperature
- 1 pound (455 g) semisweet chocolate (50% to 60% cacao mass), finely chopped
- 1 cup (2 sticks; 226 g) unsalted butter, at room temperature, cut into pieces
Glaze & Decoration:
- 1 cup (240 ml) Dark Ganache Glaze, liquid and ready to pour
- 1 half-pint firm and dry fresh raspberries
- For the Cake: Preheat the oven to 375°F/190°C. Coat the inside of an 8-inch by 2-inch deep (20 cm x 5 cm) heart shaped cake pan with nonstick spray, line bottom with parchment, then spray parchment. (Cut the parchment to fit by tracing the pan).
- Place the whole eggs, in their shells, in a bowl filled with hot tap water for 5 minutes. Warming the eggs ensures maximum volume when they are whipped.
- Place the chocolate and butter in a large heatproof bowl and set over a pot of simmering water or microwave until chocolate is three-quarters of the way melted. Remove from heat source and whisk gently every now and then for a few minutes until chocolate is completely melted and mixture is smooth.
- Meanwhile, crack whole eggs into bowl and beat with mixer on high speed until tripled in volume, pale yellow and thick enough to hold a very soft peak.
- Add about 1/4 of the egg mixture to the cooled chocolate. Gently combine by hand, using a whisk. It’s OK if streaks of egg remain. Add remaining eggs and fold in, first using the whisk, then finishing with a large silicone spatula. The batter will deflate a bit, but try to retain as much volume as possible. The mixture will look like chocolate mousse. Scrape batter into pan and level with a small offset spatula.
- Place the pan in a large roasting pan filled with 1-inch of hot water. Bake for about 12 to 15 minutes. The surface will look dull. If you tilt the pan slightly, the edges will come away from the sides of the pan. Both of those visuals are important and the only way to really tell that it is done. It will still be very soft, like a pudding. Don’t fret. Remove pan from water and cool pan completely on rack. Wrap with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight. (Cake may be frozen at this point up to 1 week; defrost in refrigerator overnight before continuing).
- For Unmolding: Unwrap pan, flip it over (the cake will not fall out) and allow hot tap water to run all over the bottom of the pan. The warmth from the water should loosen the cake from the sides and bottom of the pan. Warm an icing spatula under hot water and blot dry. Run the spatula around the sides of the cake. Apply pressure out towards the pan, not in towards the cake, or you might accidentally shave off some of the cake’s side. Flip the cake over and firmly shake and wiggle the pan back and forth; you are trying to get the cake to release its surface tension with the pan. The cake should slip out. If it doesn’t, repeat the warm water and jiggling steps. Gently lift off the pan completely. Peel off the parchment.
- For Glaze & Decoration: Place cake on rack set on a sheet pan. Pour the ganache glaze over the cake and use an offset spatula to gently spread the cover the top of the cake and allow to drip down the sides. Use spatula to help the ganache adhere to the sides as well. Allow the cake to sit for several minutes for the glaze to begin to set.
- Use a strong broad spatula to lift cake and place on serving platter. Cake may be refrigerated at this point up to overnight.
- Right before serving, arrange fresh berries on top of cake as desired. I made a single row around the outer edge, but you might create a different design. Feel free to use the entire half-pint. Cake is ready to serve cold or at room temperature.
I was astounded that you would spend your literary gift on me. I'd be lying if I said I thought you would spend romanticism, letters, and songs on me. Let's pretend I wasn't impressed by your willingness to venture to a new place for first date. Let's pretend we didn't have our own version of "You've Got Mail," but possibly better. And let's pretend I don't still have those emails, more than a year later.
Let's pretend you didn't think you'd be the envy of all my friends with the weekly flowers. Let's pretend I wasn't as disappointed the hurricane spoiled our plans for our weekend getaway in Maine, complete with arrangements for my best friend to tag along.
Let's pretend I didn't get giddy like a schoolgirl when family followed my advice to call the missed reservation office to get a partial refund, but you called me "your girlfriend" in your explanation to the customer service person. I wish I could pretend we actually went on that trip that I thought was bound to be one of the cutest first dates.
Let's pretend your liquored words didn't chip away at your established chivalry and that you didn't try to pin alcoholism on me in the end. Let's pretend you didn't practically blacklist me from your publications, which you swore you'd never do "regardless of how it ends."
Let's pretend you would have actually given me the space I asked for. My, things could have ended without spats via email, painful poetry, immaturity at its finest, and blame for why good guys are extinct.
Let's pretend I wasn't invested in an artist I never met that painted me in lights I seldom allowed; that's why when your light turned to shadows of villains, I closed the book on my passion because you were my muse for months. Let's pretend it didn't revive demons most people couldn't imagine fighting; thanks for that. Let's pretend your increase in followers and pity didn't add to the list of "self-proclaimed victim's" in my life. Let's pretend I'm the loose, heart-breaking, materialist, alcoholic narcissist you swindled your fans into believing. Oh.... guess according to you, it's not pretend.
Let's pretend the sting of your backlash didn't tarnish the honey of your courting; the poems, the songs, the serenades, and even your published works-- spoiled.
Like your story, these contents are robust and complex. To get to the sweet stuff, the steps are intricate and requires precision.
Beesting Cake
- 2 cups whole milk
- 2 large eggs
- 2 large egg yolks
- 1/4 teaspoon salt
- 2/3 cup granulated sugar
- 4 teaspoons vanilla extract
- 1/4 cup cornstarch
- 3 tablespoons cold unsalted butter cubed
Dough:
- 1 cup + 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter at room temperature
- 1 tablespoon granulated sugar
- 1 teaspoon instant yeast
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1 large egg
- 2 tablespoons tepid water
Topping:
- 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 2 tablespoons honey
- 1 tablespoon heavy cream
- 3/4 cup sliced almonds
Instructions
Filling:
- Place the milk in a medium-sized heavy saucepan and set pan over medium heat. Warm milk until very hot, but not boiling.
- While milk is heating, combine the eggs, egg yoks, and salt in a medium mixing bowl. Beat with an electric mixer set to medium speed until thickened, 3 to 4 minutes. With mixer on medium-high, gradually add the sugar (2 to 3 tablespoons at a time), beating 30 seconds after each addition. Continue beating until the mixture is very thick and pale, about 3 minutes more.
- Turn mixer to low and beat in the vanilla and cornstarch, mixing until very smooth. With mixer still on low, gradually add the hot milk—beat in about 1 teaspoon at a time at first, then slowly begin adding more, beating well after each addition.
- Once all the milk has been added, pour the mixture back into the saucepan you used for the milk. Add the cold butter, then set the pan over medium heat. Heat the mixture, stirring constantly with a rubber spatula. When mixture begins to thicken (it will look lumpy), decrease the heat and switch to stirring with a whisk. Continue stirring the mixture gently for another 7 or 8 minutes, until very thick. At this point, reduce heat to very low and cook 1 minute more, stirring with your spatula again.
- Remove from the heat and scrape mixture into a medium mixing bowl. Cover with plastic wrap, pressing the wrap onto the surface of the pastry cream. Cool to room temperature, then refrigerate overnight.
Dough:
- Combine all ingredients in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the dough hook and mix on low speed until ingredients are combined. Turn mixer to medium and mix until the dough becomes smooth and supple, about 5 to 10 minutes. (You do this by hand if your mixer is too large to knead the dough effectively.)
- Lightly spray a large mixing bowl with cooking spray. Transfer dough to the prepared bowl and cover loosely with plastic wrap. Let rise for 1 hour, until puffy.
- Generously spray an 8-inch round cake pan with cooking spray and set aside.
- Transfer the dough to a lightly greased work surface and deflate gently. Pat into an 8-inch circle. Place dough circle in the prepared pan.
- Cover pan loosely with plastic wrap and allow to rise for 30 minutes. After 30 minutes, gently stretch the dough so it reaches the edge of the pan.
- Ten minutes before the dough finishes rising, make the topping and preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
Topping:
- Melt the butter in a small saucepan set over medium heat. Stir in the sugar, honey, and heavy cream. Bring the mixture to a boil, stirring occasionally, and boil for 2 to 3 minutes, until lightly golden. Remove from the heat and stir in the almonds.
- Spread the topping into an even layer on top of the dough. Bake for 20 to 25 minutes, until the top is golden. Cool in the pan on a wire rack for 30 minutes, then run a knife around the edge of the pan to loosen the cake. Gently remove cake from the pan, then cool completely on a wire rack almond-side up.
- Once cake is cool, use a large serrated knife to split it in half horizontally. Top the bottom layer with the chilled pastry cream. Slice the top layer into 8 wedges, then place on top of the pastry cream. (Slicing the top first prevents the filling from oozing out when you slice the cake.) Serve and enjoy.
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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