I used to think being called cute is an insult. It's a "safe" compliment. It is also a common compliment for puppies and babies. BUT, it's preferred to sexy. I've only come to this conclusion THIS last week of April. I'm surprised my eyes haven't rolled into the back of my head. We'll start with the guy I was going out with when Mr. Blues Clues from last post texted me about "adding to the party" completely oblivious to the fact that I was not playing pool in a t-length dress 42 minutes from my house for "fun." This guy we will call Mr. You-Should-Take-This-As-A-Compliment. This guy was more attractive in person than pictures and certainly carried himself as such. His eyes scanned my thin, pencil shaped dress several times before the words "wow, you look great" fell out his mouth. The typical banter commenced as I sipped on his southern accent that didn't match his face and a chocolate rum drink shaken, not stirred. He bought the bartenders a round and referenced his friends that kept illuminating his phone. "Everyone is trying to hang when I'm in town" he explained. "God, you're so hot," he muttered as I rolled my eyes. Speaking of rolls, cue waitress stage left with our sushi rolls. He picked at his plain California rolls, eating only 4 pieces by the time I had consumed my complex order that claimed to be spicy, yet to no avail. "Let's go play poooool." He pleaded with emphasis on the double o's almost like a Brit. "In this dress?" "Yeah, why not?" Another eye roll and I was on my way to his souped up black Jeep in which he opened my door for me. *Tallied 1 for the visitor team* But then, removed the tally with his music selection. It was a playlist of rap "munchies" as I heard my younger sister refer to them once. Kodac Black and other young voices I'd never heard of. I had no concern he would keep driving and take me somewhere dangerous, never to return even though now I was miles from my car in a city 48 minutes from my house. I guess this comes with dating for 6 years. WOW that long. Jeez. He leaned in once he parked and I was curious how this one would feel. There's something about a first kiss that is thrilling. So many questions to be answered. Will it be sweet? Will it be slow and intentional or sloppy and hurried? What about the size of his lips-- mine are small so I need ones a bit more robust. Will he use too much tongue? Will he use it or park it in my mouth like it's a garage? As the thoughts flooded, so did the memory that we had kissed before. Rewind 2 nights. His messages were persistent. We had conversed on snapchat from a mutual swipe on FB Dating (the most effortless dating app to initiate when plastered) but it never formulated into meeting. He claimed that he usually "drops" people that don't make time to meet up but there was "something different about you and I don't know why." Color me NOT flattered. That's more of a line than the yellow ones on 35E. I don't know if it was the peanut butter whiskey I was sipping or the loneliness that kept calling but I gave him my address and my bed time so he knew he had approximately 90 minutes to converse with me and then skedaddle. .....guess his country accent was rubbing off on me. It was much more pronounced in person and I loved the contrast. He dressed preppy and clean cut but had a country twang and a smirk that made one part of your brain wonder... Banter was instant and after a few hugs, he lifted me and leaned in. I held my breath and wasn't disappointed. His lips were much bigger than mine (kinda pouty) and admittedly softer than mine. I shewed him out of my house before it got too steamy and he hounded me about "a real date" until I said yes the following Thursday. BACK TO CURRENT DAY: The kiss came with his right hand on my left hip. I leaned in and enjoyed the big lips that made mine feel almost held, embraced. We stayed there for just a moment and then my hand fell into his fairly small but significantly darker hand and we made our way to the busy brick bar. The energy poured onto the street as we walked the stairs inside. I saw a sea of green across the open floor plan of the bar with Stars fans energized with the second period in full swing projected on the front wall of the bar. My date led me to the bar ordering himself a jack and coke while I took a chance with a strawberry daiquiri. I figured I should stay with rum and I was still kinda hungry from the sushi so I figured the drink could meet me halfway. We made our way to the pool table where he broke the balls? I am very unfamiliar with pool terminology here.... I'm much better with swimming pools. lol I have lessons I'm giving today, actually. Pool beans. When I leaned to aim the cue ball toward one of the solids, I felt his eyes. I looked back and a lustful look was plastered on his face. I was actually surprised it was not complete with drool, that's how deep this look was. "Can I help you?" I blurted, popping my hip out and greeting it with my fist, creating a triangle with my arm. Stirring, he shrugged. "You could." Agitated, I pushed the issue. "What? You don't want me to be attracted to you?" Taking a step back I replied, "yeah but there's more than just looks..." "You're so hot," he said, stepping toward me. I retreated to the other side of the pool table and took my shot and missed miserably... I guess like him. I sipped the worst daiquiri I've ever had, even pre-21 years and used that as my break from the tension he was single-handedly created. Begging the bartender to make ANYTHING else, I apologized and slipped him a couple dollars cash. I returned to my lustful date with Jameson Orange with a splash of soda. I played off his blunt stares and played the game.... and pool too. We played one more game and then agreed to go back to other section of bars where my car was awaiting me respectfully, not lustfully. I could hear the guy on Mr. You-Should-Take-This-As-A-Compliment's phone say, "yeah it's me and you know." My date replied, "oh your girl?" "Not really," the guy on the phone responded. Oooo I could not wait to get out of here. "Okay, we're headed there." He closed out his tab and then grabbed my hand and led me to the door. I mentioned work tomorrow and my long drive and he tried to coax me to stay. Once he closed my car door and he secured himself in his, is when he said it. "You know, I usually don't talk to girls that don't sleep with me on the first date." I looked at him like he just blew out my birthday candles and sneezed on the cake. "Then I'll happily get out when we get to my car." "No, but don't you think that means something that I'm still here with you?" For some reason, he took my dumbfounded face as permission to proceed. "I mean I have so much fun with you but sex is important eventually." "This is our first date and I'm just not that kinda girl," I barked. "I'm just saying you should take that as a compliment. Girls approach me all the time and I am staying with you even though you don't want to do that." And as if this statement wasn't repulsive enough, he continued with "there's just something about you." Upon getting to my car, a panic attack commenced.I would like to say that this next part is shameful and I should either omit it or have reconsidered sharing this entire story but it wouldn't be datesandcakes if I didn't tell the whole story no matter how it makes me look. Here comes the unbelievable response to the whole situation..... dun. dun. DUNNN. He refused to leave me with the panic attack happening. "What can I do? I don't want you to drive like this." I tried to explain that my attacks have no triggers and no estimated duration. He asked if I wanted him to sit with me and said he didn't care his friend was waiting so I nodded. He sat in the passenger's side of my best friend's ride.... oh wait, that's a song. He sat on my passenger's side and I KISSED HIM. WHAT THE GREAT SCOTT, MARTY IS GOING ON? The heaviness and struggle with my breathing continued so I took breaks and then told him I just needed to get home. The panic rode home with me and sat on my chest for hours before I could fall asleep. I wanted to end this post with hot independent girl energy saying, This is the only "Sale" I'm on:But... I waited a few attempts until agreeing on a second date (third meeting) with Mr. You-Should-Take-This-As-A-Compliment. Stay tuned for part 2 and the recipe.
1 Comment
"God doesn't bless where you don't belong"I'm a SUCKER for the story. Another guy I met in real life.
Flirty banter, per usual. But looking back on the convo, it was really little effort on his part...He used one of MY messages as a segway to set-up a date. Hmm... Humorous part is I was leaving a date when he inquired if I was still out. I informed him of my double the next day and asked, "who said I wanted you to crash my party?" He assured me it would be adding to the party. "Shhhyeah, but it is crashing the party if it's a date. For all you know, it could have been." #guilty He used THAT as his opportunity to ask me out!!! "Maybe Friday evening we can't do that?" I had to ask for clarity and he indeed asked me out. Sure, I'm not an innocent party here but then again, I was honest... he just didn't believe me. *shrugs* He picked a place for us to meet. Didn't even offer to pick me up. CLUES? So how does a lady respond to that? Well she get's her best friend to drop her off and she pregames, of course! 3 shots of vodka in on an empty stomach and I strut up the alley. Bowling alley that is. He said I looked beautiful and put our name on the bowling list. We made our way to the bar for MORE drinks. It was 8pm because he had just gotten off work so I know he didn't have time to eat. After our second drink at the bar I asked, "are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Well I'm gonna have to eat soon with drinking. I had a couple shots before I got here," I confessed. He laughed. "Cause I took so long? Yeah, we can eat after this." If this "clue" wasn't enough, he didn't wait for a romantic moment or comment, he just leaned over and kissed me. Drunk me kissed him back and lingered. *facepalm* After sweeping the lane and striking my 6'2 date out.... errrr sparing some time to show him how to bowl. I asked where we were getting nourishment and if he could give me a ride home. He said he didn't mind the place we picked was 3 minutes in the opposing direction of my house and then we got a booth. More kissing commenced and he revealed his 10 year relationship that ended 3 years ago. Things still seemed to be moving along. Hand holding, he didn't get my door, but I was still into it. Also, I was still inebriated. 8 shots of vodka, whiskey, and vodka redbull will do that to ya ;) Outside my house was where my puzzler got sore. He..... hope there's not sensitive ears here. He bent me over his car and pressed against me like a thumb to a stamp on the corner of an envelope. One large hand tugged at my hair while the other lightly gripped my neck. His tongue found my neck and just when my breathing quickened he backed up. Gasping for air I turned my whole head, staring at him blankly. "I have to work tomorrow at 6am." "Wow, you're a tease." He smirked before I could say, "wow, that's what this feels like." I scoffed and turned toward the gate outside my house. I muttered a wish of safe travels and luck for his shift tomorrow and I punched my number into the gate while he backed up. I don't even think he checked to see I made it into the house before peeling onto the road. Texted me two hours later "I'm home" when he only lives 40ish minutes away. From there, the conversation was about the business he had ahead and friend he was picking up from the airport. I can't be jealous if it was a girl but that was when our convo ended. ^^Even his mailbox has a red flag! I guess all do but... I liked him :(( I asked God if this boy was just going to hurt me, to remove him from my life."And he did." Not gonna correct the grammar or point out that a text message takes all of 58 seconds; I'm just going to take Blue's clues and God's answer to my prayer. 2 cups blanched almond flour
1 cup creamy almond butter ½ cup maple syrup 1 tsp. vanilla extract ½ tsp. cinnamon freeze-dried blueberries sprinkles
https://www.nickelodeonparents.com/these-blues-clues-you-cookies-are-all-bark-no-bake/ Dedicated to: A guy that I had no business liking that STILL remains clueless that I ever liked him
Season: Fall 2021 He knows only of your existence Aloof to your mental resistance Lightly circling the topic of The next contender of whom to love Hope hopscotching lines in chalk Tempted to cross with tangled talks But alas, the play is one-sided His name: the one with the title beside it Dreams are cast-away on 12-hour shift Relationship: unlikeliest of gifts Extinguishing naivety is a must Weathered emotions naturally rust Discolored, he'll become distant Secret he'll never know he missed it Smiles at a jogger's pace
Attachment, there's no place. Curiosity always curved Sympathy seekers curbed. Lingering until latched, Genuine intention stashed. Liberally lining their pockets, Energy greater than sockets. Unplug upon satisfaction. Ignore embittered reaction. Sultry scan for a souvenir, Hardly the parasite pioneer. Dates and Cakes here addressing the fact that my posts have been sparse but not necessarily apologizing because, well, I've been distance dating. I've newly defined this word as:Distance Dating (v): The act of not actively dating but lapping up the attention from any potential suitor within reason. In order to engage in this act, you must meet the person organically or digitally without the use of a matchmaker ie: married friend set up, dating site, classifies ad, ect. Also, the person must not be convenient in literal distance from your residence, engages in drastically different extra curriculars, or is how do you say... "out of your lane" in terms of "leagues: There are several dating attempts that have yet to make the blog due to:
But what we do know.... is I definitely have not met my future ex-boyfriend. So many opportunities for bad, unsuccessful, unsatisfactory dates.... so, buckle up. Today's post though is for the connection casualties that caused damage. Unfortunately, since this happens to be my type, this new Carly Pearce song is dedicated to.... well at LEAST 5 guys that come to mind. I didn't love any of them, but a girl can dream... and my dreaming is astronomical. Hell-- I just got back yesterday from a solo trip to Cabo! AND I'm already kicking around plans for the next adventure. I like to think I'm getting better at this temporary thing. Sure, we live in a throw-away society but, never in my wildest dreams could I have placed myself in the same room as disposable. Middle school and college should have prepared me for that with some of the friendships that came to pass and quite frankly broke my heart. Alas, I continued to throw parts of my heart into things and encounters probably in 2018. 2017 was my first year dating around EVER. Single, cute, no kids, no divorce, and a listener? The possibilities were endless. The chase was riveting and my attention span matched the longevity of each encounter. It wasn't until I got tired of sharing my story (which had been spark-noted with a dose of mysterious) and wanted to be my quirky, loud self with one of the guys I was dating that I started to lean toward boy friend boulevard. Is it wrong to want to wear mismatching pj's, get hangry when dinner is delayed more than an hour, and belt classic rock on the radio when going on dates? Sigh. THAT'S what earned me some heart wear and tear. Sure, I've "learned" but damn, this "lesson" is a rocky road with no turn-around's. I'd like to say the forgetting is easier, because the goodbye certainly is. I'd like to say "next time is gonna-- I'm not gonna..." So, I'll continue to whip up datesandcakes vlogs and blogs and jump on planes (or out of them #adrenalinejunkie) and stay sweet. The hardest part is not SCREAMING that they are all the same.... because well, prove me wrong ;) Dedicated to: [you know who you are][Verse 1]
I am my mother's daughter I watched her with my father I saw it all, the good and bad Should've known better than that You found me at the right time I loved you from that first night Bet everything on what we had Should've known better than that [Chorus] I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad? Yeah, you should've known better, should've known bеtter Than to break what you couldn't fix Boy, what a shame what you'rе gonna miss Why'd you go and do what you can't take back? Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that [Verse 2] You sold me on a fantasy Damn it, it all felt real to me Thought you were the man in the photograph Should've known better than that Oh, I should've known better than that 2 [Chorus] I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad? Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better Than to break what you couldn't fix Boy, what a shame what you're gonna miss Why'd you go and do what you can't take back? Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that [Instrumental Break] [Bridge] Still some nights, I'm crying on the floor But I'm not sleeping in the bed you made, no more [Chorus] I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad? Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better Than to break what you couldn't fix Boy, what a shame what you're gonna miss Why'd you go and do what you can't take back? Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that Romanticize minutes spent
Standards to oblige-- bent Anticipation of something built Following bios and emotions spilled Sheer intrigue wrapped like candy Something shore leaves you sandy Different dawn and dialect This one too, I must forget Although my favorite Disney princess has always been a 3-way tie between Pochahontas, Mulan, and Belle, I have always wanted to be referred to as "Belle with her nose in a book." Even if someone somewhere just said it once.I used to spend hours in the Mount Pleasant library, 4 minutes from my house, collecting travel books, cookbooks, and devotionals for rent. There was one time when I even felt the eyes from the security guard on me; not because he thought I slipped a book in my bag without checking it out, but with interest of some sort. Then again, it could have very well been in my head. ;)Fast Forward to my library adventures in Texas post-heart expenditure: November 2020.Heart Expenditure (noun): The state in which one's heart has let too many "potentials" in, only to be underwhelmed. In this datesandcakes definition specifically, it was allowing 4 guys into my heart space in the span of 7 months. If you're thinking the math doesn't add up, you'll be happy to learn that insecurity was my common denominator. All of them retreated and I was left with the wreckage of myself and my own undoing in November 2020. Instead of living out the definition of insanity, I tried a new hobby to distract me from dating and breaking down. If you've ever sat in a room with me, you'd know within seconds that I do not. sit. still. So, reading novels has always been a struggle, even in school with AP classes that required summer reading. But, here I was, looking, hoping for something new. I read the book to the left in four days and the book on the right in five. They were RIVETING. I felt alive and accomplished and was providing my own approval for a change. One common theme (besides murder muhahah! What can I say? I always loved Nancy Drew even though it took me weeks to finish one because of all my "distractions") quickly surfaced that men should not be trusted. I'm sure you're thinking, how convenient that datesandcakes reads books to support her serial dating trend and is, like most women, an innocent bystander.
These books actually helped me realize how many of the guys I've dated are and will always be, strangers. I knew more about these characters and how they face fear, mortality, morals, integrity, and greed than the four from the pandemic. For cereal, if I do ever write a book or series of books, one of them HAS to be "The Four From the Pandemic: How to Date During a Pandemic and Insure You Leave Pieces Behind." But being totally shallow here (because deep down, we all have been at one time or another), these two titles scream some of my insecurities that lead me to date these guys that were not fit for me. AT ALL. I wanted to be a pretty thing on his arm and gosh, did I want to be seen. But the more carona cases reported, with maps stretched as far as the screen can capture, the more people I realize are out there that could be that match. Maybe my pretty thing is in Morocco and I've been too distracted with the wrong corners of the compass. I'm alone and could not be happier. .... I don't know if that's gasp worthy or cliche but.... today, at this moment while clacking this blog out, pressed against a heating pad when I should very well be asleep, I'm at peace with saying that. :)) The cakes will still be baked, the vlogs will still be recorded, and God knows the attention will still be yearned for, but I'm hopefully going to approach it better. Here's for hoping and for new hobbies! Single Ole Bird Left With PiecesPersonally, Reese's pieces are my least favorite of the Reese's family (the candy-coated sheep if you will). They have no chocolate, which seems like an impostor thing to do and m'nms are better so.... that's how the candy crumbles! BUT, with this post, and the introduction of my coined "heart expenditure," I found this candy suiting and this recipe humorous. Y'all know I enjoy a good joke and I often "roast" myself so.... Ingredients
Instructions
Her eyes are light in the storm of screams.
Cold as a metal, ripping scenes. Basking in a brutal brunette beauty. Festering in fallacies madness mutual. The cringe before the revolution. Harboring in the waves, she became the depression. Freedom is merely a security secession. Her future as a funnel, with remains a phone. She started like windows "alas, I'm alone." Ill-timed dating, a morphing revolution You Only Live Once (YOLO) so 2 years talking and 4 days in my bed and he's "just living for the moment."Mr. Fine Lines is a guy that I thought was special since he picked me over my bestie through Snapchat. He kept contact throughout the course of three homes I packed and unpacked through and through 2 1/2 boyfriends. Sidebar: It's not that "the 1/2" was half a man but, he was someone I was kind of serious about but declined his request to become his girlfriend. He was fine being in the background because he values his freedom more than his space; for him, they are not interchangeable. He wants his space to be consumed with bright screens, clouds of smoke, materialism, ammunition for verbal and physical jousts, and mentions of wanting a family. The freedom is for the freaking. He was a strategist, apparent in his use of words and applications of compliments. He alludes to you being the "perfect woman" but, never the perfect woman for him. It's irrelevant if I thought we were compatible. Which, since I'm pouring this out... I didn't, point blank. The timing was "just right," revealing "just the right amount" of what-you-wanna-hear while spooling the mystery. He never revealed too much, yet talked quite a bit-- especially leading up to the trip where he flew into my space, head, and fears. In the countdown of the 2 weeks prior to him landing in Dallas, he strategized the physical aspect of our anticipated time together. After our first encounter, he revealed that he seldom speaks to girls that sleep with him on the first date. The double standard that he relayed through the phone enraged me and quite frankly, should have ceased future efforts. I rebuttled with, "Shhyeah, like you weren't naked pressed against me. You wouldn't have stopped me if we did it." "Probably not, but how am I to know that girl doesn't sleep with other guys on the first date?" Rolling my eyes, I must have suppressed that red flag wrapped conversation because I entertained not one but two flights for our second encounter/date/rendezvous. The first one, I canceled because of Covid and another lust-interest that was pursuing me HARD. He even went as far to make a bet with me of who would give-in first to sex. YUP, for $50. So much for reserving bets for noble steeds. Am I so naive to scroll past the painfully sexual text messages to see what I wanted to hear and ONLY what I wanted to hear? Like the card game, I'm gonna call BS on ALL of it.You teased me with words like:
Your finale wouldn't be complete without:
His actions conveyed he dreaded a relationship with me since my plans, like most living in this pandemic, are not etched in ink. This is contrary to his words in a prior conversation about an ex-interest of mine that has now deemed himself pan-sexual. Mr. Fine Line got slightly heated and used choice words about such an arrangement. He stressed that it should be just you and your person. Then, in person, he exhibited macho status when Since he was all about things being "just right" and him "not wanting to share" yet he could be active on dating apps In no effort to be ironic, his dessert is a British breakfast and he is the closest person to Ron Swanson I've ever met. I give you, like the 3 home-cooked meals I gave him with not as much as a "thx bro," |
AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
April 2022
Categories
All
|