Mr. Struck By Lightning was EVERYTHING. I know, I know, past tense tells us where this ends before it begins AND how many times I have I felt, blogged, or screamed that before? This story is stale and is in need of a ziplock or re-baking. It all started like they all do... :( Guh that feels as awful as it sounds. Then again, so does Nickelback yet they've won over 27 awards including "worst band." How's that for "How You Remind Me?" This guy was intelligent, caring, generous beyond belief (mostly drawn from his profession choice), nurturing, found me funny (requirement), nerdy, honest (maybe a bit too much off the bat but still hit a single ;), and ambitious. He cooked for me on our first date, which was all too humorous since I detest pasta, which I know is unamerican and anti-italian and mama mia! I should be hit with a meatball but... it's just not my jam (or peanut butter). Anywhooooo, he is Italian and saw this as a challenge to show off his skills in the kitchen with his grandmother's recipe. He plated a lemon garlic pasta with arugula, panchetta, and Parmesan. He was so excited when his fork plunged into his masterpiece while I.... couldn't contain my taste-bud tango. Looking at me with his big blue eyes he beckoned, "What do you think?" My face said it all. I tried to mask it but Mardi Gras was not yet upon us. He saw the truth like a polygraph. "Oh, you really don't like it?" His face sunk. I couldn't help but laugh and utter, "I mean, it's good.." while I twirled my fork in the spaghetti. My hunger and strict upbringing of "finish your plate" and "when someone makes something for you, you eat it" compelled me to finish the bowl. It really wasn't that bad by the time I scrapped up the last bite. I did however feel a little like Lucy with Vitavitavegamin. Well.... it surprisingly made the date all the more comfortable. We were ourselves and I lapped up every moment. I became quickly drunk on his honesty of his divorce, the cleanliness of his home that you could tell wasn't just a deep cleaning before the girl comes over, and the way he looked at me with those deep color-changing eyes. He was like a mood ring that I just HAD TO HAVE. Somewhere between date number 1 ^^ and date number 2 where I also spent it at his house and later spent the night.... I found myself cropping this guy and pasting him in my future plans. Not just the weeks leading up to his birthday in March but beyond. To infinity.... yes, I was buzzed ;)) Another thing to note: we were never drunk. Never. The most we had was two drinks on the first date and the second, we were just consumed with each other. It was freeing and consuming all at once. So what went wrong? This is datesandcakes afterall.... something always doesWell, like chalk on concrete, my boundaries with those I care about are colorful, fun, and washable. My best friend, whom I've mentioned countless times and was featured on the blog several times is my constant. She's dated with me, nursed the ending of the relationship we thought "was it," lost our grandmothers, moved three states together, raised the cutest damn bulldog you've ever seen and made this thing called life more tolerable. The bestie and I danced, drank, and dreamed our pain away for 16 years now. So, to say she's not involved in my love life is a bold face lie. But... to what extent is healthy? Confession session: I still don't know. She's fueled with past potentials of mine a number of times, inevitably ending in well, the end. So.... with Mr. Struck By Lightening, I was stoked when she gave me her seal of approval about him. She loved his passion for scary movies, his openness to answering questions about if he truly was divorced, age of his daughter, and intentions with me. Excessive or is my bestie just thorough? Maybe that's revealing my weakness of not gathering the courage to ask some of those questions myself or maybe I'd prefer living in the aloofness fantasy of not knowing. Or maybe... I should have let things build over time instead of condone an interrogation... but, you have to admit, the seal is pretty cute. In the 7+ hours gushing on the phone and 29 hours that we spent engrossed in conversation and electric "like," I grew incredibly fond of this man and really REALLY thought it was going to blossom into something soon, like a flower on speed. I don't know plant terminology... not as "green" as I should be I guess *rolls green eyes* Well, it all was at stake (medium rare) when the bestie questioned his motives the day before date number 3. First, she interrogated me, pressing me about details about his daughter and why we haven't gone on a date in person and then about the details about his credit cards, which were his reason the third date MAY or may not happen, contingent upon the status of his flagged card that was being resent to his house hopefully by the date of the date. Haha, thank you comic relief. Since I couldn't provide specific details to the bestie, she decided to verify herself since her faith in men had been recently corrupted due to multiple acts of infidelity from her long-distance boyfriend. That catastrophic event was discovered days before me and Mr. Struck By Lightening's date. This is where it got ugly. OH heavens no! This was actually where it got sexy ;)) Mark of his passion after date number two. Again, my attempt at comic relief because I'm distraught about the ending of this one. You heard me! DISTRAUGHT. Usually I leave and never look back... this one, well, didn't make it so easy. After the interrogation about the cards and yelling between him and my bestie, they both apologized. It was strange to watch and honestly, I couldn't believe a couple things:
Naturally, he rescheduled date #3. He felt "a bit defeated" and needed some time to "dust himself off and pick himself up." All to say: he's human and is also probably trying to wrap his head around the fact that it actually is butter. lol Ugh. Next day went by and the conversation took a terrible turn via text. I was a bit tied with work so wasn't able to respond too much into it so called before dinner. He responded a short, "okay... sorry you feel that way" to my call of "I really thought you could be the one but now I don't know how we can continue from here." And he didn't fight for me. So... I blame myself for allowing things to get this out of hand where it became a 3 person relationship. He probably feels he dodged a bullet and can't believe he got matched with such a crazy... then again, part of me feels he wasn't as into me as I thought since he was able to quit me cold turkey (or chicken). Guess the Stephona is curable... and yet, I still yearn to hear from him. Potentially the biggest SMH moment of datesandcakes history! Thoughts are welcome...
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I'm attracted to accents, beards, height, humor, and unfulfilled potential. The last of these is the one that gets me into trouble.... and quite possibly earns me a fraction of these datesandcakes stories.In no way am I saying these guys are not "doing the damn thing" we call life and looking good doing it. What I'm saying is, I look at each one of these guys as what they could be to me and what we could be together. Selfish, right? Instead of basing it off their arrangement of words, gestures, and follow-through (or absence of follow through). I lust over the story-- "our story" that we could tell others how we met. I live for the chase and impossible situation that only we together could make possible. I pretend that time-zone conversion will be a conversion of the soul. Okay... that one was too far. Probably 96% of what is manifesting between this guy and I, (whether it's been 2 weeks or 3 days) is sheer fantasy. This is not to be confused with the perfume, Fantasy by Brittney Spears, who is free now. YOU GO GIRL; 2007 is finally over for you! I make assumptions and expectations with absolutely no scientific evidence. Ones like:
I figured a baker's dozen is a good place to stop ;)) You can't read between lines that aren't even drawn in the sand. Number 11 and 12 are probably the biggest jokes of all, at least lately.... It's like I didn't understand science or the scientific method AT ALL. Stephanie, your hypothesis is continuously wrong!
I'm so consumed with the beauty of what it would mean to be a beautiful structure that people from every land marvels at, that I ignore the lack of building materials, motivation, or color to make such a relationship happen. I lose sense of reality for a little bit and act like Dorothy or Alice, allowing only my imagination and shiny things to guide me. There's been SO manyyyyyyy examples of this in my "dating." The current shut-down status of the world begged for the quotation marks because it seems globally we are shutting people out since life as we know it has shut down and rerouted our day-to-day existence. I cannot tell you the last time I actually felt like I "dated" someone. Seems lonely, but is only at times I'm not pushing myself for better. Actually, datesandcakes' science of attraction and downfall of all the connections I've had in the last year (let's not bite off more than we can chew ;) could really be summed up to one painful truth. It's a personal problem. As arithmetic taught me, I'm the common denominator! So, here's to working on me and maybe my next hypothesis will be have some ground to stand on.You hear the man! And what better pair of flavors that exude the "laws of attraction" than.... (drum roll please)Don't be peanut butter and jealous... as always, I share the recipe. I will say, that picture was for comedy purposes and this is the one DatesandCakes will be making:
A new emotion surfaced. Just then, on page 314, this character playing the part of a romantic, but is really deep down a conman, said those three words that I'll never forget were said to me. When they didn't seem to savor their first slice.I thought some of these connection casualties would have left me empty, like a "shell" of a person.... Turns out, they were just shell-fish and now are new additions to "crusty" remains of relationships that could have been. You know what the ball of painful puns means.... |
AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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