A DatesandCakes on how-to: |
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There's been SO manyyyyyyy examples of this in my "dating." The current shut-down status of the world begged for the quotation marks because it seems globally we are shutting people out since life as we know it has shut down and rerouted our day-to-day existence. I cannot tell you the last time I actually felt like I "dated" someone. Seems lonely, but is only at times I'm not pushing myself for better.
Actually, datesandcakes' science of attraction and downfall of all the connections I've had in the last year (let's not bite off more than we can chew ;) could really be summed up to one painful truth. It's a personal problem. As arithmetic taught me, I'm the common denominator!
So, here's to working on me and maybe my next hypothesis will be have some ground to stand on.
You hear the man! And what better pair of flavors that exude the "laws of attraction" than.... (drum roll please)
Don't be peanut butter and jealous... as always, I share the recipe. I will say, that picture was for comedy purposes and this is the one DatesandCakes will be making:
- Cake:
- 1/2 cup salted butter, softened
- 1/2 cup peanut butter
- 1 cup light brown sugar
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup whole milk
- Frosting:
- 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened
- 1/2 teaspoon unsweetened grape Kool-Aid mix
- 3 Tablespoons grape jelly
- 3 1/3 cups powdered sugar
- 3 teaspoons warm water
- Additional peanut butter and jelly for garnish, if desired
- Purple food coloring
- Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour 3 (8 inch) round cake pans and set aside. Alternately, you can make 2 thicker cakes.
- In a medium bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Set aside.
- In the bowl of your mixer, beat butter, peanut butter and both sugars on medium speed for 2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each. Beat in vanilla extract.
- With the mixer on medium low, beat in flour and milk alternately, starting and ending with the flour mixture. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and give the batter a good stir from the bottom with a rubber spatula.
- Spread batter evenly in prepared pans and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until top springs back when lightly touched in the center. Remove from oven and let cool in the pans for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.
- Prepare frosting:
- In the bowl you your mixer, beat butter, Kool-Aid mix, and grape jelly until smooth. With the mixer on low, slowly add powdered sugar, a little bit at a time, until just mixed in. Add warm water food coloring and slowly increase mixer speed to high. Beat for one minute, until smooth and fluffy.
- Stack and frost cake. If desired, chill after frosting, until firm, then top with peanut butter and jelly for garnish.
Although my favorite Disney princess has always been a 3-way tie between Pochahontas, Mulan, and Belle, I have always wanted to be referred to as "Belle with her nose in a book." Even if someone somewhere just said it once.
I used to spend hours in the Mount Pleasant library, 4 minutes from my house, collecting travel books, cookbooks, and devotionals for rent. There was one time when I even felt the eyes from the security guard on me; not because he thought I slipped a book in my bag without checking it out, but with interest of some sort. Then again, it could have very well been in my head. ;)
Fast Forward to my library adventures in Texas post-heart expenditure: November 2020.
Heart Expenditure (noun): The state in which one's heart has let too many "potentials" in, only to be underwhelmed. In this datesandcakes definition specifically, it was allowing 4 guys into my heart space in the span of 7 months. If you're thinking the math doesn't add up, you'll be happy to learn that insecurity was my common denominator. All of them retreated and I was left with the wreckage of myself and my own undoing in November 2020.
Instead of living out the definition of insanity, I tried a new hobby to distract me from dating and breaking down. If you've ever sat in a room with me, you'd know within seconds that I do not. sit. still. So, reading novels has always been a struggle, even in school with AP classes that required summer reading. But, here I was, looking, hoping for something new.
- That's SUCH a compliment that you pegged me for a reader and a deliberate reader at that
- There's a reason I grabbed fiction murder mystery versus relationship/self-help reads... I want to know how it feels to see the protagonist continually put themselves in poor decisions and yet make it out alive; I know my mom and KC have both wondered that after reading or hearing about a handful of my craziest dates.
- Am I easily distracted? guilty. Am I a hopeless romantic? guilty. Have I self-sabotaged some of the good ones? guilty. Do I flee from comittment because I fear it could feel like a life sentence? also guilty. So.... what was that about me being innocent? ;) Wouldn't make for an interesting read or viewing (if tuning into the vlog) if I wasn't truthful even if it makes me look bad.... haha you should see me hungover!
- If you choose to ever pick up these INCREDIBLE reads, you will learn each woman has her secrets and stains that no amount of bleach could wash. I am not above this.
These books actually helped me realize how many of the guys I've dated are and will always be, strangers. I knew more about these characters and how they face fear, mortality, morals, integrity, and greed than the four from the pandemic.
But being totally shallow here (because deep down, we all have been at one time or another), these two titles scream some of my insecurities that lead me to date these guys that were not fit for me. AT ALL. I wanted to be a pretty thing on his arm and gosh, did I want to be seen. But the more carona cases reported, with maps stretched as far as the screen can capture, the more people I realize are out there that could be that match. Maybe my pretty thing is in Morocco and I've been too distracted with the wrong corners of the compass.
I'm alone and could not be happier.
.... I don't know if that's gasp worthy or cliche but.... today, at this moment while clacking this blog out, pressed against a heating pad when I should very well be asleep, I'm at peace with saying that. :)) The cakes will still be baked, the vlogs will still be recorded, and God knows the attention will still be yearned for, but I'm hopefully going to approach it better. Here's for hoping and for new hobbies!
Single Ole Bird Left With Pieces
- 6 Tablespoons salted butter
- 8 cups mini marshmallows
- 12 cups Rice Krispies cereal
- Non-stick foil
- A light-weight cup (I used a red solo cup)
- Cooking spray
- White paper
- Clear tape
- Tooth picks
- Reese's Pieces or whatever "stuffing"you want
Instructions
- Cover the cup with foil and make sure the non-stick side is up on that as well. Spray it well with cooking spray.
- Lay out a large piece of foil with the non-stick side up next to the serving platter.
- Melt your butter over medium heat.
- Spray a mixing spoon with cooking spray and stir in the marshmallows until they've melted.
- Remove pan from heat and stir in your Rice Krispies until well combined.
- Pour this mixture onto the piece of non-stick foil and allow it to cool for a moment or two.
- Working fast, divide the Rice Krispie Treat mixture so that there's 2/3 of it to make the body and set 1/3 of it to the side to make the wings and drumsticks.
- Starting with the 2/3 portion of the Rice Krispie Treat mixture, take a small amount of it and create a base about an inch thick on the serving platter.
- Place the cup on it's side onto the base so that open part of the cup is slightly off of the base where the turkey's opening will be so the majority of the cup is laying on the base.
- Build the rest of Rice Krispie Treat mixture around the cup to create the turkey's carcass with the cup in it's cavity (once this is set you'll be able to pull the cup out and stuff it with candy). Make sure the mixture around the cavity isn't too thin. Be sure to press the mixture in well so that it's not too loose when it dries.
- Next, take the other 1/3 of the Rice Krispie Treat mixture and divide it into four parts.
- Use each part to mold two drumsticks and two wings and set them aside and make sure you press them into shape tightly. (I kept these on the a separate pan lined with non-stick foil- keep in mind that you'll want to shape the wings so that the thinner back parts of them go up in different directions since they will be on either side of the Turkey).
- Cover everything with the nonstick side of the foil and allow it to rest and set for at least 30 minutes in the refrigerator (overnight is preferable).
- To make the bone end of the drumsticks, take strips of white paper, and fold them in half length-wise.
- Cut half way up along the fold every half inch or s and wrap it around the ends of drumsticks and secure with a piece of clear tape.
- Use toothpicks to carefully secure your drums and wings to the turkey (this can be a bit tricky and you'll need to rig it up the right certain spots depending on your drumsticks and gravity).
- Stuff the turkey with candy and serve birrrrrr birrr birrrr birrr birrd bird bird is the word.
An excerpt from DatesandCakes in the early days:
The Connection?
Since I haven't posted much since the last ache, this story is recovery.
- I was obviously, painfully not looking for anything else
- I was ready to shake my ass with no restrictions
- I was ready to pump my body with liquid courage that I didn't need
- I was dolled up and smiling with the bestie near by
Wait... what? Gave ya something to chew on, huh? ;)
Lol anywhooooooooooo
My eyes trimmed in coal mascara skimmed the bar. They came to a screeching halt when I read a graphic t-shirt that read: pizza planet.
There's something about an accent so thicc, I can spread on toast...
haha I HAD TO with the zillenial spelling of the word thick ;))
Well, this gent and I got to talking about interests and he said he lays pie-puh for work.
I'm sorry, what?! Accent so thick, I could spread it on toast! It was sweeter than the green apple crown he got me. Then, ADHeffingD Stephanie tuned into the Shakira song that the dj delighted the honky tonk with. Without missing a beat, this country stranger from Oklahoma got to see first hand, Stephanie in her natural habitat.
Breaking it down on the dance floor like I was back in Spain with that strong Reggaeton beat, I was in my element. Not quite a spectacle, but the Crown maybe told me a different story.
As soon as the genre changed to country, he, Mr. Other Accent of Honey approached me and spun me into a two-stepping spree. I have no clue what song it was, but I beamed. I loved it! A country nerd spinning and twirling me around in the moment like a bowl of whipping cream and powdered sugar.... foreshadowing. At some point, he asked for a kiss, but I told him this wasn't Hershey's.
As we turned, so did the clock and closing time was calling us home. We stepped outside as a group; him and his friend invited us back to their lake house, but before the invite fully dropped out of their mouth, I politely declined.
Mr. Other Accent of Honey turned his head, "Wool, ken I at leeeest git yur phoooone number?" <<<best phonetic imitation of this bearded Okie.
I slyly shook my head, with no fear of becoming dizzy. My bestie I suppose showed her sly side by slipping my number into his phone while I turned to look for our Uber. We parted ways with a smile and I knew that was the one and only time I'd hear that honey drawl and I was completely content. I kneaded that (like fresh dough on a floured surface). How simply our interaction illustrated that there are plenty of southern fish in the sea; some that are just here for fin and some that didn't belong in your part of the ocean anyway.
Actual footage of my heart:
- Measure equal parts of heavy whipping cream and powdered sugar in a deep bowl (about the depth you get with the wrong guys)
- Pour pure vanilla extract into bowl to your liking. Like the collateral damage, I hardly measure vanilla. Possibly 3 teaspoons, if I HAD to guess?
- Whip with a hand mixer until thicc
- lol. Ole fashioned hand mixer works better here than a standing mixer like a Kitchen Aid. To all the young bakers, I wanna shout, "Back in my day, I had to hold the mixer in one hand and stay in one place, which is a chore for a traveling girl like me. Oh and get off my lawn!" Just kidding! Gypsies don't have lawns lol
He was fine being in the background because he values his freedom more than his space; for him, they are not interchangeable. He wants his space to be consumed with bright screens, clouds of smoke, materialism, ammunition for verbal and physical jousts, and mentions of wanting a family.
The freedom is for the freaking. He was a strategist, apparent in his use of words and applications of compliments. He alludes to you being the "perfect woman" but, never the perfect woman for him. It's irrelevant if I thought we were compatible. Which, since I'm pouring this out... I didn't, point blank.
The timing was "just right," revealing "just the right amount" of what-you-wanna-hear while spooling the mystery. He never revealed too much, yet talked quite a bit-- especially leading up to the trip where he flew into my space, head, and fears.
In the countdown of the 2 weeks prior to him landing in Dallas, he strategized the physical aspect of our anticipated time together. After our first encounter, he revealed that he seldom speaks to girls that sleep with him on the first date. The double standard that he relayed through the phone enraged me and quite frankly, should have ceased future efforts.
I rebuttled with, "Shhyeah, like you weren't naked pressed against me. You wouldn't have stopped me if we did it."
"Probably not, but how am I to know that girl doesn't sleep with other guys on the first date?"
Rolling my eyes, I must have suppressed that red flag wrapped conversation because I entertained not one but two flights for our second encounter/date/rendezvous. The first one, I canceled because of Covid and another lust-interest that was pursuing me HARD.
He even went as far to make a bet with me of who would give-in first to sex. YUP, for $50. So much for reserving bets for noble steeds.
Am I so naive to scroll past the painfully sexual text messages to see what I wanted to hear and ONLY what I wanted to hear? Like the card game, I'm gonna call BS on ALL of it.
- us
- my person
- I see you
- how could guys treat you that way?
- you are such an amazing woman
- I can't believe a woman like you exists
- I'm not just trying to sleep with you, I JUST want to spend time with you
- Now all I'm missing is you
- I'm just living for the moment
- I want to see you again, but I'm not made of money *after buying a $400 hat*
- Sorry, I'm not ready to marry you
In no effort to be ironic, his dessert is a British breakfast and he is the closest person to Ron Swanson I've ever met. I give you, like the 3 home-cooked meals I gave him with not as much as a "thx bro,"
Fried Banana and Almond Maple Porridge
- 1/2 cup steel cuts-deep oats
- 1 1/2 cups almond milk
- 4 tsp maple syrup
- pinch sea salt; can't you see how salty I am?
- 1 tbsp coconut oil
- 1 tsp brown sugar
- 2 pinches cinnamon
- 1 banana (ripe, like the sting of this long-term interaction)
- 1/4 cup almonds (chopped suey like my faith in guys, again)
- 2 tbsp almond buttered-me-up
- In a sauce pan add steel cut oats. Bring to medium heat and toast oats stirring often until it they create a nutty aroma (3-5 mins). Then pour in almond milk, maple syrup, and pinch salt.
- Bring steel cut oats and almond milk to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer. Cook oats stirring occasionally for 25-30 mins, or until cooked. Optional to add splashes more almond milk while cooking for desired consistency.
- Meanwhile, add coconut oil to a skillet and bring to med heat. Sprinkle pan with coconut sugar and cinnamon. Cut your banana in half down the centre and place cut side down on the skillet. Fry each side for approx. 30s-1 min, or until golden brown.
- Remove bananas from skillet and add chopped almonds. Toast almonds in skillet stirring occasionally until browned (approx. 5 mins).
- Divide oats between two bowls and top with fried bananas. Drizzle with almond butter, sprinkle with toasted almonds.
I selected a recipe with a fried topper to symbolize the flash-in-the-pan that we were. I'm sure he'd cringe at me referring to him and I as we. I'm still hot like the popping grease that I became JUST LIKE every other girl he's talked to. Gave it up, only to be left empty and loathing myself.
They say hate and love is a fine line, but I've never heard anyone apply that to themselves; I hate myself for letting him in (in all ways that apply).
Throw Back to Fall 2016 when the dating bonanza all started...
"Take down paradise and put up a parking lot" plays in the background
He took me on a walk-and-talk type date after early dinner in Southlake Towncenter. He seemed like such a genuine person and we had so much in common. A decent kisser and his height was certainly a plus. Mama always said find someone good to look up to. Come to think of it now... I don't think this is what she had in mind.
We scheduled another date in the heart of Fort Worth at a cocktail bar on Magnolia. I have to admit... I double booked that particular Saturday. Plans for an after party would open the floor for two possibilities: if the date went well, he could meet my friends, but if it didn't, I could dance the night away with my girls. I take back-up plans and exit strategies seriously.
THAT WAS WHEN I BEGAN STANDING UP TO GUYS. I'm not sure if it was more the fact that I hadn't received much attention from guys at this point in my 26 years of life or I just hadn't been involved with one's that I had to deem unworthy. Not that I'm putting myself above them but I'm building myself up by saying there's ways you don't deserve to be treated. It's easy to list Nicholas Sparks and Disney fairy tale expectations for how you wish to be treated but it seems a little dark to list things you simply won't tolerate. It wasn't easy or very empowering to say (in more than just words) that they blew their chance.... but, this was just the beginning.
Spoiler alert: the date did not go well. I mean, this is datesandcakes afterall.... usually the bad dates are the ones that make for the best recipe
The irony here that I claimed this (back in 2017 when I reflected on this dating encounter at the tail-end of 2016) is when I started standing up to guys. What happened? Four years later and I'm still getting tread on. My, my, my. History does repeat itself.
One of the times I looked back at him, I got a clingy, yet creepy vibe from him. It wasn't quite a stalker creepy vibe, but more than a Halloween spooky vibe. My bestie beckoned over the music, "he gonna bounce or?"
I never asked if she experienced the same discomfort, or if she was just reading my body language. I rolled my eyes in agreement, finished the Shakira song, and made my way, four strides to his table.
I forget how I got him to his feet, but I politely tried to convey that this date was over. I walked him back to his car as a peaceful parting. When I went in for a hug before leaving, that was when he grabbed me and kissed me. His left arm wrapped around the top of my shoulder and his right arm strapped against my lower back, locking his hand on my hip. I pulled away where there was about a head space between us. His lips moved toward mine as I tried to pull free from the abrasive hug. His left arm slid to my forearm and held a tight grip.
Trying not to panic, I shot him a look right before twisting my arm free. His right arm reached for my belt loop as my unsteady voice projected into the dimly lit parking garage, "Stt-top! Let go!"
"What?" He coaxed.
I lunged backward as I saw the eyes of a couple assessing the situation from a few yards away.
I nearly jogged away from his car stammering, "what the FUCK" under my breath as I zipped across the garage and back to the sidewalk in front of the bar that my friends were awaiting my return.
I was in disbelief. Utter disbelief that I just lived the beginning of a CSI episode, yet luckily made it out before they called in the investigators.
This was more about us both having alcohol in our system. This is a real risk of dating strangers.
He called me a week after the incident befuddled why I hadn't returned his call. After explaining my side, he refuted my words as sharply as he had refuted my desire to stop kissing the week before.
"You know what? I don't want to talk about this anymore. I didn't feel safe and I have to go," I spoke firmly and clearly. A smile crept across my face as I hit the end button and my screen dimmed. I exhaled. I was tired of "being polite" in uncomfortable situations. That call was the beginning of respecting and looking out for me. I had mastered dismissing the guy that put his social needs before me, and now for guy that puts his physical needs before me-- dismissed.
This girl is a fighter💪 in more ways than one.
I'm again, breathing heavily reliving this as I punch the ending of this encounter into my keyboard. My friends were there but there was nothing they could do. I was alone and he was the least likely (in my poor judgement of a call) to put me in a situation like that. I guess judging a book by its cover continues to teach its lessons...
This dessert could only be paralleled to:
Boxing Bagels
For the dough
- 1 tablespoon maple syrup
- 1 pkg. (¼-ounce) active dry yeast
- 1 1/4 cups warm water
- 4 1/3 grams bread flour*
- 2 teaspoons sea salt
- 1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
- 1½ tablespoons maple syrup
- 2 teaspoons baking soda
- ½ tablespoon salt
- 1 egg white plus 1 tablespoon water, optional
- 2 Tbs brown sugar
- 1 Tbs cayenne
- 1 tsp rock salt
- Prepare the dough: In a small bowl, combine the maple syrup, yeast, and water, and proof for 5 minutes or until foamy.
- In the bowl of a mixer fitted with a dough hook attachment, place the flour, salt, and the yeast mixture. Mix on medium-low speed for 5 to 7 minutes, until the dough is well-formed around the hook.
- Transfer the dough to a clean work surface and knead 2 to 3 minutes, until smooth and barely tacky, then pour in chips before forming into a ball.
- Place into a large bowl, cover, and set aside in a warm spot for 60 to 90 minutes, until the dough has risen (it may double in size).
- Line 2 baking sheets with parchment paper, grease them very lightly with oil, and set aside. Flip the dough out onto a clean, unfloured, mat errr work surface and divide into 8 pieces. Form each piece into a ball by boxing and rolling on the countertop with a cupped hand. As you work with each piece through the next few steps, keep the dough that you’re not working with covered in plastic wrap.
- Sprinkle a few drops of water onto the countertop. Take each dough ball and roll into a rope about 9 inches long. Place one hand palm up so that your four fingers are centered on top of the rope. Fold each side of the dough over your fingers, so that the ends overlap by about 2 inches. (see photo above). Holding the dough, turn your hand over and roll your hand on the countertop to seal the two ends together.
- Place each finished piece onto a baking sheet. Dust the tops with a very slight amount of flour to keep the plastic wrap from sticking to the dough. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight.
The next morning:
Remove the pans from the fridge and let sit at room temp for 1 hour.
- Preheat the oven to 450°F.
- Place one bagel into a small bowl of water to make sure it floats. If it sinks, let the dough proof for an additional 30 minutes or until one floats.
- Prepare the poaching water: In a large pot, bring two quarts of water to a boil with the maple syrup, baking soda, and salt.
- Add 3 bagels (or as many that comfortably fit) to the pot, reducing the heat if the water starts to boil over. Boil for 1 minute per side. Transfer the bagels back to the baking sheet, flipping them over so the smooth side is on top. Repeat with remaining bagels.
- Prepare the toppings: Combine last three ingredients in a small bowl to give these a nice KICK
- Beat the egg white and water together in a small bowl, if desired. Brush the bagels with the egg wash and dunk the top of the bagel straight into the seasoning
- Bake for 14 to 18 minutes or until lightly golden brown.
I fell right between the lines, so you could leave me for dead.
Learn from DatesandCakes, you're NOT an option, you're the solution-- hell, you may well be the purpose. You're the fire and the fight that makes it all worth it. You're to be pursued and wooed. You're the warmth that is otherwise unattainable. You are valued, cherished, treasured, and damn well are enough.
Remember the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days?" Well.... DatesandCakes has her own real approach on it!
Guess I'll have to continue to play the cards I've been dealt.
Catfishing is when someone posts an attractive picture of themselves that is no longer an accurate portrayal of them, current day. Sometimes, they even go to the extent of using someone else's picture!
I was minding my business, baking as usual when a new add from snapchat flashed on my phone. I glanced at the screenname to ensure it wasn't something like grinder4lyfe or puffNpussy and then the bitmoji icon and accepted the request. For those less than obsessed with Snapchat, you can create your own avatar on Snapchat to resemble you.... mind you, this is typically how that person sees themselves and isn't always an accurate portrayal.
Why would you prose such a statement, Stephanie? Could you be foreshadowing something?
I returned to the conversation. His nerd side was exemplified when he geeked out about Lord of the Rings and Game of Thrones (I have seen neither). I know, I know. GOT is on "my list" to watch but, I don't really sit still long enough to get wrapped into a show and I fell asleep in the theater for Lord of the Rings. I actually enjoy seeing someone nerd out on something that is important to them since I do the same with classic Disney, all things Joker, and Harry Potter (think I'm a Griffinpuff). The words exchanged between him and I mixed like melted butter and melting marshmallows.
As I continued to multitask, I received another snap message, which took my focus off Mr. Bottom Feeder for a few seconds. When my eyes returned to the list of screen names, It took me at least 30 seconds to figure out which one he was (sorry not sorry? plenty of fish in my sea ;)
When I finally found which one was him, I asked for a picture to save in the chat. He sent one already loaded on his Tinder. This is where my suspicion rose.
"I like your beard," I commented politely, "but can you send me a current one?"
Confrontation for the FIN!
He tried to blame society and the shallow focus and I was having NONE of that.
I said, "Look, if guys are able to swipe left or leave a date with a girl that is not his preferable circumference, then I can certainly do the same. This was dishonest and I have nothing left to say on the matter."
I left in a splash.
Dessert should be something fishy.... lol maybe with Swedish fish or imitating?
- 4 tbsp butter
- 4 cups miniature marshmallows
- 6 cups crispy rice cereal
- 20 gummy worms
- 2 boxes green-colored Fruit Roll-Ups
- 30 fish-shaped gummy candies
- Prepare a 12 by 17 inch baking sheet by lining it with waxed paper and spraying the paper with nonstick cooking spray.
- Place 2 tablespoons of butter in a large microwave-safe bowl, and microwave until melted about 45 seconds.
- Add 2 cups of miniature marshmallows to the bowl, and microwave until the marshmallows are completely melted, about 1 minute, stirring every 30 seconds. Stir the mixture until it is completely smooth.
- Add 3 cups of rice cereal and stir until completely coated. Immediately pour the mixture out onto the prepared baking sheet. Spray your hands with nonstick cooking spray, and begin to press the candy into the sheet in a thin layer. Begin working from the edge of the shorter side of the sheet. The mixture will only cover approximately half of the baking sheet.
- With the short side of the baking sheet nearest you, place a pair of gummy worms an inch from the edge. Place another pair directly below, and repeat until you have a line of worms stretching across the baking sheet.
- Using the waxed paper to help you, roll the cereal mixture around the gummy worms, pressing firmly to make a tight roll. Take a large sharp knife and cut the log away from the rest of the mixture. Place it off to the side, and repeat the worms/rolling/cutting procedure for the remainder of the cereal.
- Slice the logs into 1-inch rounds. Wrap each round in a strip of green-colored Fruit Roll-Ups.
- To make the fish-topped “nigiri,” repeat steps 1 to 4 to make the rice candy base, but do not press the rice mixture as thinly. It should be about 3/4 inch thick once pressed into the baking sheet.
- Cut the candy into rectangles about 3/4 inch by 1 1/2 inches. Place a candy fish on top of each rectangle, and wrap a 1/2-inch strip of green Fruit Roll-Up around the entire package.
- For a finishing touch, decorate your sushi platter to look more authentic. Suggestions include substituting chocolate sauce for soy sauce, green-tinted whipped cream (or melted white chocolate) for wasabi, and thinly sliced pink fish for pickled ginger.
Spring 2020
Anyone that has underestimated Steph or DatesandCakes is gravely mistaken-- including Steph herself.
I didn’t think you are sleeping w all these guys. Don’t worry about what others think, it is none of their business, and everyone has their own lenses for the world. You are making the best decisions for you and your life. I wonder what dessert that would be, one for you, a big heart for loving yourself so well and not settling out of fear, boredom, or hormones!
I've been running this race of life in a unique pair of shoes that have more than "soul." I've prided myself on not checking (or climbing inside) the boxes society has built:
~no kids
~no wedding
~no dog
~no house
~no tenure
~no debt
~no regrets
~only in love once
I've got more issues than Travel & Leisure, but you bet your sweet pippy, I'm still worth the read. We can take turns and one of us may want to turn around, but I'm going to smile more about getting the emotions and experiences out on paper (digitally). Getting it out is half the battle.
Aside from God and my friends (which are people that treat you like family; many happen to be blood), travel is what makes me tick. It's quite literally what I live for and dream about. Recently, and quite often in the past, I've had people cast disapproval on me for that "lifestyle." The guilt made me cower in the conversation like a hermit--- which could not be the furthest animal in comparison to me! My wit is a cheetah, my humor is a hyena, my commitment to a cause I believe in is a dog, and my endurance is a zebra. My emotions and existence is a zoo, but I'm worth admittance :))
*this applies to you*
After all, we're all running the race, but the real value is not in the crowning, but that you finish. And, that you gave it your damndest.
To be called a "horse's ass" may be a great insult, but is it worse than half-assing something?
In response to the challenge my blog friend, Anne posed, I have selected a decadent dessert for a sweet traveler empath; a triple threat needed to earn title of triple crown.
**Fun Fact: Stephanie actually means "crown"**
Kentucky is 1 of the 24 states I've visited. Practically 1/2 way there ;)))
The Dessert I Designated for Myself (for once) is Kentucky Derby Day Pie
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup flour
- 2 eggs slightly beaten
- 1 stick butter melted
- 1 cup pecans chopped
- 1 cup chocolate chips
- 1 tsp vanilla
- 1 unbaked 9" pie shell because I'm enjoying it today, since I often "fill" others around me anyway :))
- Preheat oven to 325.
- Mix sugar and flour well. Even though it's a different kind of flower, pick YOU.
- Add eggs, butter, vanilla, and subtract guilt.
- Add pecans and chocolate chips. Mix well.
- Pour into pie shell and bake 45-60 minutes or until golden brown and a toothpick comes out clean in the middle. If your crust starts to get too brown before the middle is cooked, you can cover the pie with foil and continue baking.
Nothing like fresh pain to bring to life, words of a song you never paid mind to. This song has been out for about a year and was showed to me by my best friend. I didn't conceal my disinterest in it, yet she said it helped her.
Fast forward to my first break-up in which I was the one being dumped/left/broken/questioning since 2010 before midnight on New Years. Yeah, what a way to bring in the new year, am I right? My dating life never ceases to amaze me. Sidebar, that ex-boyfriend has actually been married twice now.... just a nugget of information I learned from one of his fraternity brothers I still keep up with.
Well, since it has been quite awhile since I've been left like that, I forgot the emptiness and abandonment. Sure, I've felt the sting of rerouting your day to remove the cute text messages, late night dates, insiders, and plans we made for two.... BUT that was when I was in control. That was when I was the one that held the answers and the hope of something else out there. Not someONE, just something that I couldn't seek with casually dating the person I was with. I say casually with the upmost respect; what I mean by it is we were not official. He didn't pin me, make me his girl, exclusively ensure we were solely dating each other, and make me his sole focus as far as intimacy is concerned.
Well, since this particular hook pulled a few things from me, I've been diving in unfamiliar territory. Just yesterday, I was faced with admittance. For me, this is monumental since denial is my favorite state (Louisiana is a close second).
I was quiet, staring at the wall in my best friend's kitchen when she sent me the song again with the caption, "Steph, give this song another listen." Humorous that she sent it sitting next to me, I saved it as we played it on her light-up speakers; those were the only things to light up in that room.
Where'd you learn how to act like that?
You know one day you're gonna want to change it back
I think I know who's messing with your mind
But don't worry, I don't wish I were bread.
Today's suitable recipe is pain d’épices
In English, pain d’épices translates to "Spice Bread"
- 2/3 cup (210g) honey
- 1 cup (110g) rye flour because he rung me out to rye
- 3/4 cup (110g) all-intensive purpose, I was his flour, till I died
- 1/2 cup (110g) cold plain (like his heart) milk
- 3 Tablespoons (40g) caster sugar
- 1 pinch of salt
- 2 teaspoons (12g) baking powder
- 2 large eggs
- 1/3 cup (75g) melted (like he pretended to do for and over me) butter
- 1 teaspoon lemon zests
- 1 teaspoon orange zests
- 1 teaspoon 5 spice powder*
- 1 teaspoon cinnamon... notice it's not cinnaman
INSTRUCTIONS
- Preheat the oven to 300°F (150°C). Grease a loaf pan with butter.
- Pour honey in a large bowl, since his sweetness has dried up.
- Add rye flour, which is overbearingly bitter in regards to types of flour. This includes oat, chickpea, flax, corn, and almond flours. I have no pride issue or problem admitting, this guy has made me incredibly bitter in the amount of time it takes to make a loaf of bread. Personally, I loathe the taste, smell, and even texture of rye; even in Iceland, it lingers on your taste-buds with an abrasive attitude.
- Mix until well combined, which I thought we did so so well. Whatever method you choose to combine, know that there is a grave possibility it can come undone.... but not likely in this recipe with your binding agents.
- Incorporate one at a time all-purpose flour, cold milk, sugar, salt, baking powder, eggs and melted butter, stirring well after each addition.
- Add the spices of rehearsed lines, benefits for yourself, empty promises, and stir well.
- Pour the batter into the prepared loaf pan and bake for about 50 minutes.
- When the cake is lukewarm, like the relationship you kinda sorta maybe believed in, unmold it and transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.
- You'll cool down. You've got to, right?
We all know immediately following a second chance, that person is on their catholic school's BEST behavior. Mr. Hook was minding his P's Q's LMNO's ...the whole alphabet soup.
He "made it up" to me (still not sure if that is all he made up) by recreating our skype movie date complete with date attire and an energy drink in hand (since he works nights, he wanted to ensure he was engaged and alert in our afternoon date). Things continued as they were before the first date disappointment and possibly were even better. What makes me say that? As illustrated by Dates N. Cakes:
Laughing I said, "yeah when he was my man."
"I wish you would let me be your man."
"Pshh, you said you wanted to wait until we meet in person."
"I mean... I thought that's what you wanted. I was trying to read you; I know what I want."
{nothing sexier than when a man knows what he wants.... okay I could think of a handful of things ;))}
"Well...." I smiled. "There's only one way to find out..."
"Stephanie?"
"Hook?"
"Stephanie?"
"Yes?"
"Will you... be my girlfriend?"
Could barely keep a smile from my thin lips when they formed the word "Yes."
We continued in a long-distance relationship for 3 days
Hey! I appreciate when people call a spade a spade. Not to mention, it's kind of a turn-on when guys do it to me... ;)
As the 6 hour conversation into the night continued, he mentioned the word "marriage." Like 96.821% of females, that word stops us in our tracks. Even though, presently, I'm not even sure if I want that anymore, I pushed it aside nervously.
Remembering how pivotal honest intentions and trust is to Mr. Hook, I revealed a secret about myself that I wasn't quite ready for. Upon hearing this news, he uttered, "I have to marry ya now."
He said a variation of this phrase again and then we engaged in certain relations... ;)
Then, he was distant.... for 3 days, unlike the metaphorical hook he lodged in my cheek.
Then, he hit me with a regular "good morning" instead of the fuckboi response I had grown accustomed to "good morning beautiful/gorgeous/cutie." He also didn't call as usual so, Detective Stephanie's suspicions were aroused.... and for good reason.
Subconsciously, I already began coping the inevitable by indulging in a WHOLE chocolate bunny (hop hop HOP), endless vodka redbull's, and wrote a poem about deep emotion entrapment.
He answered in a groggy phase, even though on the REGULAR, I stayed up with him until 6 or 7 am my time, talking and enjoying every moment...which I must have mistaken as mutual. I told him I missed him, naturally since I assumed it is a safe space when you're official with someone.
I was officially wrong.
He said he was stressed about his failing grade in school and an upcoming exam on Tuesday. So, I suggested we chill until then and he snapped with, "Well, I'll have another after that. I'll continue with them until June."
"But June is when you leave California..." My voice trailed as I could feel the distance in his voice.
He said nothing.
"What are we gonna do?" I whispered as I rolled over in the full sized bed, 2 time-zones away from his. I don't remember his tone, I just remember that I pressed on. "What do you--- I thought you wanted this."
"I wanted this, but I want my career more."
The past tense in his weak word choice triggered tears. "But you knew this before you started this..."
"I really have to get my grade up and pass these and between school and my friends I just..."
Sobbing was all I could release.
His end of the phone was silent. I think what hurt the most was how little he cared in this moment, but had no problem ordering handcuffs for us to use, conveniently pinning the "m word" (marriage, marry, m'nms) on me as a manipulative trick I've now experienced 7 times (from 7 different dudes that obviously didn't step to back up their little words), and dismissed anything we were or exchanged before.
"I don't think it would be fair to you..." he said halfheartedly.
How do I convey the rage building? The betrayal and abandonment AGAIN? Genie, take it away:
- I didn't ask for this.
- He pursued me.
- He begged for a second chance.
- He swore age was nothing but a number and that he wanted something serious.
- He enjoyed talking to me and was as hooked as he clearly hooked me
- He went into details about all the plans for our first meeting on the west coast
- He waited for me to finish lent, in which I gave up dating
- He made me feel like he wasn't talking to anyone else and was saddened and seemed to sit up right when I told him there were 2 other guys that had asked me out in one day
- He told me his life story, encouraging that I share mine
- He created such a space that I expressed things to him that I hadn't even admitted to myself
- He talked about meeting my parents and I meeting his grandpappi
- He talked about dating a military man 3 years down the road and how he would understand if it was too hard for me, but hoped it wouldn't be
- He talked about how he's never talked to a girl like me and is honored I gave him a chance
- He told my best friend I was drop dead gorgeous
- He told me things that streamline operators of the game, so I guess the swindled is to blame and cannot be deemed the victim
"I guess so," he said. "Can I call you tomorrow or something?"
"I don't get the point." I said in deep devastation.
- On our last convo on Tuesday, this MUFFIN TOP told me that he would have to show me in actions. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you that I'm different. I'm going to show you with actions, Stephanie. I'm not like other guys you've been with."
Have I learned NOTHING in my datesandcakes history? Guh, you bet your sweet pippy that there is gonna be an explosive vlog about this.... stay tuned ;)
Featured in the vlog as the young navy guy that wants to date me and respected my "giving up dating for lent."
Although he respected that and asked me on the first conversation we engaged in if I would come visit him on the west coast, his actions didn't measure up to his talk.
On the day that ends lent, that calendars deem Easter, I went on another disappointing first date. It was not because:
- He hit on the bartender
- In chronological order, listed why I am single
- Took me to an AA meeting
- Dumped me before taking me to Disney
- Bored me outta my mind
- Made me drink 4 glasses of water at a bar with him so he could pass his breathalyzer
Although all those are true datesandcakes first dates, this one didn't take our date seriously and for the first time in years, I knew I deserved better.
Naturally, he schmoozed me and talked me into a second movie with him. Oh, but don't get ahead of yourself. We didn't watch it.... he had to go talk to his buddies in a couple hours so cut it short before another movie was brought up a second time.
I was ASTONISHED that yet ANOTHER guy that claimed to care failed to follow through with actions. I felt foolish and lonely and quite frankly, desperate. If you've read even 2 DatesandCakes posts, you'd know that this is new concept or lesson to learn.
While I was fuming later that night, he asked for my address, to which I reluctantly released as to not seem "crazy."
These were the results......
Yes, he listened for my favorite flower BUT, still owes me royalties for using my Stephanie Original that quotes Tony the Tiger...
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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