"God doesn't bless where you don't belong"I'm a SUCKER for the story. Another guy I met in real life.
Flirty banter, per usual. But looking back on the convo, it was really little effort on his part...He used one of MY messages as a segway to set-up a date. Hmm... Humorous part is I was leaving a date when he inquired if I was still out. I informed him of my double the next day and asked, "who said I wanted you to crash my party?" He assured me it would be adding to the party. "Shhhyeah, but it is crashing the party if it's a date. For all you know, it could have been." #guilty He used THAT as his opportunity to ask me out!!! "Maybe Friday evening we can't do that?" I had to ask for clarity and he indeed asked me out. Sure, I'm not an innocent party here but then again, I was honest... he just didn't believe me. *shrugs* He picked a place for us to meet. Didn't even offer to pick me up. CLUES? So how does a lady respond to that? Well she get's her best friend to drop her off and she pregames, of course! 3 shots of vodka in on an empty stomach and I strut up the alley. Bowling alley that is. He said I looked beautiful and put our name on the bowling list. We made our way to the bar for MORE drinks. It was 8pm because he had just gotten off work so I know he didn't have time to eat. After our second drink at the bar I asked, "are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Well I'm gonna have to eat soon with drinking. I had a couple shots before I got here," I confessed. He laughed. "Cause I took so long? Yeah, we can eat after this." If this "clue" wasn't enough, he didn't wait for a romantic moment or comment, he just leaned over and kissed me. Drunk me kissed him back and lingered. *facepalm* After sweeping the lane and striking my 6'2 date out.... errrr sparing some time to show him how to bowl. I asked where we were getting nourishment and if he could give me a ride home. He said he didn't mind the place we picked was 3 minutes in the opposing direction of my house and then we got a booth. More kissing commenced and he revealed his 10 year relationship that ended 3 years ago. Things still seemed to be moving along. Hand holding, he didn't get my door, but I was still into it. Also, I was still inebriated. 8 shots of vodka, whiskey, and vodka redbull will do that to ya ;) Outside my house was where my puzzler got sore. He..... hope there's not sensitive ears here. He bent me over his car and pressed against me like a thumb to a stamp on the corner of an envelope. One large hand tugged at my hair while the other lightly gripped my neck. His tongue found my neck and just when my breathing quickened he backed up. Gasping for air I turned my whole head, staring at him blankly. "I have to work tomorrow at 6am." "Wow, you're a tease." He smirked before I could say, "wow, that's what this feels like." I scoffed and turned toward the gate outside my house. I muttered a wish of safe travels and luck for his shift tomorrow and I punched my number into the gate while he backed up. I don't even think he checked to see I made it into the house before peeling onto the road. Texted me two hours later "I'm home" when he only lives 40ish minutes away. From there, the conversation was about the business he had ahead and friend he was picking up from the airport. I can't be jealous if it was a girl but that was when our convo ended. ^^Even his mailbox has a red flag! I guess all do but... I liked him :(( I asked God if this boy was just going to hurt me, to remove him from my life."And he did." Not gonna correct the grammar or point out that a text message takes all of 58 seconds; I'm just going to take Blue's clues and God's answer to my prayer. 2 cups blanched almond flour
1 cup creamy almond butter ½ cup maple syrup 1 tsp. vanilla extract ½ tsp. cinnamon freeze-dried blueberries sprinkles
https://www.nickelodeonparents.com/these-blues-clues-you-cookies-are-all-bark-no-bake/
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Although my favorite Disney princess has always been a 3-way tie between Pochahontas, Mulan, and Belle, I have always wanted to be referred to as "Belle with her nose in a book." Even if someone somewhere just said it once.I used to spend hours in the Mount Pleasant library, 4 minutes from my house, collecting travel books, cookbooks, and devotionals for rent. There was one time when I even felt the eyes from the security guard on me; not because he thought I slipped a book in my bag without checking it out, but with interest of some sort. Then again, it could have very well been in my head. ;)Fast Forward to my library adventures in Texas post-heart expenditure: November 2020.Heart Expenditure (noun): The state in which one's heart has let too many "potentials" in, only to be underwhelmed. In this datesandcakes definition specifically, it was allowing 4 guys into my heart space in the span of 7 months. If you're thinking the math doesn't add up, you'll be happy to learn that insecurity was my common denominator. All of them retreated and I was left with the wreckage of myself and my own undoing in November 2020. Instead of living out the definition of insanity, I tried a new hobby to distract me from dating and breaking down. If you've ever sat in a room with me, you'd know within seconds that I do not. sit. still. So, reading novels has always been a struggle, even in school with AP classes that required summer reading. But, here I was, looking, hoping for something new. I read the book to the left in four days and the book on the right in five. They were RIVETING. I felt alive and accomplished and was providing my own approval for a change. One common theme (besides murder muhahah! What can I say? I always loved Nancy Drew even though it took me weeks to finish one because of all my "distractions") quickly surfaced that men should not be trusted. I'm sure you're thinking, how convenient that datesandcakes reads books to support her serial dating trend and is, like most women, an innocent bystander.
These books actually helped me realize how many of the guys I've dated are and will always be, strangers. I knew more about these characters and how they face fear, mortality, morals, integrity, and greed than the four from the pandemic. For cereal, if I do ever write a book or series of books, one of them HAS to be "The Four From the Pandemic: How to Date During a Pandemic and Insure You Leave Pieces Behind." But being totally shallow here (because deep down, we all have been at one time or another), these two titles scream some of my insecurities that lead me to date these guys that were not fit for me. AT ALL. I wanted to be a pretty thing on his arm and gosh, did I want to be seen. But the more carona cases reported, with maps stretched as far as the screen can capture, the more people I realize are out there that could be that match. Maybe my pretty thing is in Morocco and I've been too distracted with the wrong corners of the compass. I'm alone and could not be happier. .... I don't know if that's gasp worthy or cliche but.... today, at this moment while clacking this blog out, pressed against a heating pad when I should very well be asleep, I'm at peace with saying that. :)) The cakes will still be baked, the vlogs will still be recorded, and God knows the attention will still be yearned for, but I'm hopefully going to approach it better. Here's for hoping and for new hobbies! Single Ole Bird Left With PiecesPersonally, Reese's pieces are my least favorite of the Reese's family (the candy-coated sheep if you will). They have no chocolate, which seems like an impostor thing to do and m'nms are better so.... that's how the candy crumbles! BUT, with this post, and the introduction of my coined "heart expenditure," I found this candy suiting and this recipe humorous. Y'all know I enjoy a good joke and I often "roast" myself so.... Ingredients
Instructions
Her eyes are light in the storm of screams.
Cold as a metal, ripping scenes. Basking in a brutal brunette beauty. Festering in fallacies madness mutual. The cringe before the revolution. Harboring in the waves, she became the depression. Freedom is merely a security secession. Her future as a funnel, with remains a phone. She started like windows "alas, I'm alone." Ill-timed dating, a morphing revolution You Only Live Once (YOLO) so 2 years talking and 4 days in my bed and he's "just living for the moment."After standing up for myself like this, I should've known, the crumble was inevitable--"But that's the thing... You're not showing by actions or emotions. So I'll have to go on his words. And we don't know each other enough (even though we have two years of messaging), to take each other's word as gold. The destruction I've experienced in relationships and seen in marriages... There's no way I'm going to even lean toward something serious w/ someone who isn't going to prove it every day that they want to be with me. And I wouldn't expect anyone else to settle for less with me." Skittish and unmoving with weather forecasts of new weather Comfortable in your habitat, than i should've known better He said he wasn't "chasing me around the globe" yet, he loved that I was a gyspy in the beginning. THAT'S how the cookie crumbles. Ahh, oh so familiar. Umm HELLO, why do you think Carmen Sandiego is such a successful game? Why do you think "Where's Waldo" is a best seller with less than 70 words? Most hearts race for a little challenge; it's an adventure sprinkled with thrill. Waldo might have already found me.... we'll see if this next one can keep up. ;)) "I think that one of these days," he said, "you're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there. But immediately. You can't afford to lose a minute." Still figuring out where this is, and that's half the fun!
You're just another player in the game of operation.
With your Ivory fingers on the tweezers, Your red lips are a thin line touring the connector box. The power source is a perfect formulation of numbers. Numbers so tightly wound, Their sparks of electricity bring vulnerability. I don't slight you from holding that back. Our relationship would be a disaster so, It only reinforces your surface interaction. A sharp connection, a stylus in a groove
Rhythm and words quite familiar A melodic explanation of a mood Track 8 presumes her a filler Then an anthem not for sharing Lyrics establish loyal pursuit One-and-only self-preparing Steel trust now accessible loot A flash of light with notification His active dating app chorus Revealing wilting patience B flat taunts: there was no "us" Flashbacks of a similar cadence Side two seals it with kiss Force his memory into just a dance Unfinished record, inevitable dis Sure showed the record player Leveling up the harp and heart string Casting her skies shades grayer Farewell to another shoal fling We all know immediately following a second chance, that person is on their catholic school's BEST behavior. Mr. Hook was minding his P's Q's LMNO's ...the whole alphabet soup.Plainly, I'm too exasberated to recall the "good things" Mr. Hook did and feelings he evoked. Hook yourself a bag of popcorn and sink down into a beanbag chair for this spin of events. He "made it up" to me (still not sure if that is all he made up) by recreating our skype movie date complete with date attire and an energy drink in hand (since he works nights, he wanted to ensure he was engaged and alert in our afternoon date). Things continued as they were before the first date disappointment and possibly were even better. What makes me say that? As illustrated by Dates N. Cakes: Laughing I said, "yeah when he was my man." "I wish you would let me be your man." "Pshh, you said you wanted to wait until we meet in person." "I mean... I thought that's what you wanted. I was trying to read you; I know what I want." {nothing sexier than when a man knows what he wants.... okay I could think of a handful of things ;))} "Well...." I smiled. "There's only one way to find out..." "Stephanie?" "Hook?" "Stephanie?" "Yes?" "Will you... be my girlfriend?" Could barely keep a smile from my thin lips when they formed the word "Yes." We continued in a long-distance relationship for 3 daysThe Tuesday [before it went down], we had a LONNNGGGGGG talk in which he stated he was in this for the long-term. He even called ME OUT when I questioned his intentions claiming I was deflecting. I agreed. Hey! I appreciate when people call a spade a spade. Not to mention, it's kind of a turn-on when guys do it to me... ;) As the 6 hour conversation into the night continued, he mentioned the word "marriage." Like 96.821% of females, that word stops us in our tracks. Even though, presently, I'm not even sure if I want that anymore, I pushed it aside nervously. Remembering how pivotal honest intentions and trust is to Mr. Hook, I revealed a secret about myself that I wasn't quite ready for. Upon hearing this news, he uttered, "I have to marry ya now." He said a variation of this phrase again and then we engaged in certain relations... ;) It played out like this after I called him 3 times in a drunken daze missing my "babe." He answered in a groggy phase, even though on the REGULAR, I stayed up with him until 6 or 7 am my time, talking and enjoying every moment...which I must have mistaken as mutual. I told him I missed him, naturally since I assumed it is a safe space when you're official with someone. I was officially wrong. He said he was stressed about his failing grade in school and an upcoming exam on Tuesday. So, I suggested we chill until then and he snapped with, "Well, I'll have another after that. I'll continue with them until June." "But June is when you leave California..." My voice trailed as I could feel the distance in his voice. He said nothing. "What are we gonna do?" I whispered as I rolled over in the full sized bed, 2 time-zones away from his. I don't remember his tone, I just remember that I pressed on. "What do you--- I thought you wanted this." "I wanted this, but I want my career more." The past tense in his weak word choice triggered tears. "But you knew this before you started this..." "I really have to get my grade up and pass these and between school and my friends I just..." Sobbing was all I could release. His end of the phone was silent. I think what hurt the most was how little he cared in this moment, but had no problem ordering handcuffs for us to use, conveniently pinning the "m word" (marriage, marry, m'nms) on me as a manipulative trick I've now experienced 7 times (from 7 different dudes that obviously didn't step to back up their little words), and dismissed anything we were or exchanged before. "I don't think it would be fair to you..." he said halfheartedly. How do I convey the rage building? The betrayal and abandonment AGAIN? Genie, take it away:
"I guess so," he said. "Can I call you tomorrow or something?" "I don't get the point." I said in deep devastation.
Have I learned NOTHING in my datesandcakes history? Guh, you bet your sweet pippy that there is gonna be an explosive vlog about this.... stay tuned ;) I thought it was the times |
AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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