"God doesn't bless where you don't belong"I'm a SUCKER for the story. Another guy I met in real life.
Flirty banter, per usual. But looking back on the convo, it was really little effort on his part...He used one of MY messages as a segway to set-up a date. Hmm... Humorous part is I was leaving a date when he inquired if I was still out. I informed him of my double the next day and asked, "who said I wanted you to crash my party?" He assured me it would be adding to the party. "Shhhyeah, but it is crashing the party if it's a date. For all you know, it could have been." #guilty He used THAT as his opportunity to ask me out!!! "Maybe Friday evening we can't do that?" I had to ask for clarity and he indeed asked me out. Sure, I'm not an innocent party here but then again, I was honest... he just didn't believe me. *shrugs* He picked a place for us to meet. Didn't even offer to pick me up. CLUES? So how does a lady respond to that? Well she get's her best friend to drop her off and she pregames, of course! 3 shots of vodka in on an empty stomach and I strut up the alley. Bowling alley that is. He said I looked beautiful and put our name on the bowling list. We made our way to the bar for MORE drinks. It was 8pm because he had just gotten off work so I know he didn't have time to eat. After our second drink at the bar I asked, "are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Well I'm gonna have to eat soon with drinking. I had a couple shots before I got here," I confessed. He laughed. "Cause I took so long? Yeah, we can eat after this." If this "clue" wasn't enough, he didn't wait for a romantic moment or comment, he just leaned over and kissed me. Drunk me kissed him back and lingered. *facepalm* After sweeping the lane and striking my 6'2 date out.... errrr sparing some time to show him how to bowl. I asked where we were getting nourishment and if he could give me a ride home. He said he didn't mind the place we picked was 3 minutes in the opposing direction of my house and then we got a booth. More kissing commenced and he revealed his 10 year relationship that ended 3 years ago. Things still seemed to be moving along. Hand holding, he didn't get my door, but I was still into it. Also, I was still inebriated. 8 shots of vodka, whiskey, and vodka redbull will do that to ya ;) Outside my house was where my puzzler got sore. He..... hope there's not sensitive ears here. He bent me over his car and pressed against me like a thumb to a stamp on the corner of an envelope. One large hand tugged at my hair while the other lightly gripped my neck. His tongue found my neck and just when my breathing quickened he backed up. Gasping for air I turned my whole head, staring at him blankly. "I have to work tomorrow at 6am." "Wow, you're a tease." He smirked before I could say, "wow, that's what this feels like." I scoffed and turned toward the gate outside my house. I muttered a wish of safe travels and luck for his shift tomorrow and I punched my number into the gate while he backed up. I don't even think he checked to see I made it into the house before peeling onto the road. Texted me two hours later "I'm home" when he only lives 40ish minutes away. From there, the conversation was about the business he had ahead and friend he was picking up from the airport. I can't be jealous if it was a girl but that was when our convo ended. ^^Even his mailbox has a red flag! I guess all do but... I liked him :(( I asked God if this boy was just going to hurt me, to remove him from my life."And he did." Not gonna correct the grammar or point out that a text message takes all of 58 seconds; I'm just going to take Blue's clues and God's answer to my prayer. 2 cups blanched almond flour
1 cup creamy almond butter ½ cup maple syrup 1 tsp. vanilla extract ½ tsp. cinnamon freeze-dried blueberries sprinkles
https://www.nickelodeonparents.com/these-blues-clues-you-cookies-are-all-bark-no-bake/
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Dating has seemed to lose its luster so in the inbetweens, I find reading is actually something productive that provides a sense of accomplishment instead of chipping away at the self-worth I've worked tirelessly to build over the last 11 months. The wild thing about the books I stumble upon are that they provide deep insight to relevant things in a young, single, hustling female. My latest page turner, "We Are All the Same In the Dark," took place in Texas, which his a first... so the first quote is pertaining to that, but the others are quite profound in sound.... Texas is a beautiful poison you drink from your mother's breast; the older you get and the farther you run, the more it pounds in your blood."
Strangers are powerful. They can mark you in twenty seconds. They can rob you at gunpoint so you never feel safe again. They can mention you're pretty at a party when no one else ever has, and then you don't kill yourself that day or maybe any other day. It's like a diamond tossed out a car window you were lucky enough to catch. I always found it interesting that children are taught to avoid strangers, yet everyone is a stranger at one point or another. That begs the question, how do you meet new people or familiarize someone if their existence in relation to you is well, strange? I've had strangers enlighten and empower me and friends of years betray me (one or two of them in the worst of ways). Maybe this is why Dates and Cakes has come to be and never seems to be depleted of stories: the amusement with those unfamiliar. The luster of the "new car smell" only lasts through so many hailstorms, trips to and from the beach, hauls of baseball equipment, drunk friends, and moving boxes. Then, the smell is gone and the nose is distracted by freshly baked bread, strongly brewed coffee, or popping popcorn. Life is never yours. You are just renting it out while the landlord in the sky ups the price until you can't pay anymore. But what are you going to do? Like Charles Manson said, we're all living with the death penalty." Alas, another Carpe Diem quote. LOVE. Yes, Dates and Cakes is still baking. I GUESS Dates and Cakes is still dating but with much less interest and effort put forth. This dessert, if I had to parallel one, would be Banana Crumb Cake. Sure, circumstances can be crumby, but we need to seek what is appeeling and create our own sweetness. Crumb Topping:
For the Banana Cake:
For the Glaze:
For the Banana Cake:
For the Glaze:
Romanticize minutes spent
Standards to oblige-- bent Anticipation of something built Following bios and emotions spilled Sheer intrigue wrapped like candy Something shore leaves you sandy Different dawn and dialect This one too, I must forget Although my favorite Disney princess has always been a 3-way tie between Pochahontas, Mulan, and Belle, I have always wanted to be referred to as "Belle with her nose in a book." Even if someone somewhere just said it once.I used to spend hours in the Mount Pleasant library, 4 minutes from my house, collecting travel books, cookbooks, and devotionals for rent. There was one time when I even felt the eyes from the security guard on me; not because he thought I slipped a book in my bag without checking it out, but with interest of some sort. Then again, it could have very well been in my head. ;)Fast Forward to my library adventures in Texas post-heart expenditure: November 2020.Heart Expenditure (noun): The state in which one's heart has let too many "potentials" in, only to be underwhelmed. In this datesandcakes definition specifically, it was allowing 4 guys into my heart space in the span of 7 months. If you're thinking the math doesn't add up, you'll be happy to learn that insecurity was my common denominator. All of them retreated and I was left with the wreckage of myself and my own undoing in November 2020. Instead of living out the definition of insanity, I tried a new hobby to distract me from dating and breaking down. If you've ever sat in a room with me, you'd know within seconds that I do not. sit. still. So, reading novels has always been a struggle, even in school with AP classes that required summer reading. But, here I was, looking, hoping for something new. I read the book to the left in four days and the book on the right in five. They were RIVETING. I felt alive and accomplished and was providing my own approval for a change. One common theme (besides murder muhahah! What can I say? I always loved Nancy Drew even though it took me weeks to finish one because of all my "distractions") quickly surfaced that men should not be trusted. I'm sure you're thinking, how convenient that datesandcakes reads books to support her serial dating trend and is, like most women, an innocent bystander.
These books actually helped me realize how many of the guys I've dated are and will always be, strangers. I knew more about these characters and how they face fear, mortality, morals, integrity, and greed than the four from the pandemic. For cereal, if I do ever write a book or series of books, one of them HAS to be "The Four From the Pandemic: How to Date During a Pandemic and Insure You Leave Pieces Behind." But being totally shallow here (because deep down, we all have been at one time or another), these two titles scream some of my insecurities that lead me to date these guys that were not fit for me. AT ALL. I wanted to be a pretty thing on his arm and gosh, did I want to be seen. But the more carona cases reported, with maps stretched as far as the screen can capture, the more people I realize are out there that could be that match. Maybe my pretty thing is in Morocco and I've been too distracted with the wrong corners of the compass. I'm alone and could not be happier. .... I don't know if that's gasp worthy or cliche but.... today, at this moment while clacking this blog out, pressed against a heating pad when I should very well be asleep, I'm at peace with saying that. :)) The cakes will still be baked, the vlogs will still be recorded, and God knows the attention will still be yearned for, but I'm hopefully going to approach it better. Here's for hoping and for new hobbies! Single Ole Bird Left With PiecesPersonally, Reese's pieces are my least favorite of the Reese's family (the candy-coated sheep if you will). They have no chocolate, which seems like an impostor thing to do and m'nms are better so.... that's how the candy crumbles! BUT, with this post, and the introduction of my coined "heart expenditure," I found this candy suiting and this recipe humorous. Y'all know I enjoy a good joke and I often "roast" myself so.... Ingredients
Instructions
Her eyes are light in the storm of screams.
Cold as a metal, ripping scenes. Basking in a brutal brunette beauty. Festering in fallacies madness mutual. The cringe before the revolution. Harboring in the waves, she became the depression. Freedom is merely a security secession. Her future as a funnel, with remains a phone. She started like windows "alas, I'm alone." Ill-timed dating, a morphing revolution You Only Live Once (YOLO) so 2 years talking and 4 days in my bed and he's "just living for the moment."Indecision of familiarity
Obnoxious interest there with me. Mental gymnastics Recyclable fears sort plastics. Coy connection of parts Bullseye wit, teal darts. Strictly fun, strictly forgotten Serial dater story: rotten. Country and coastal flare Headphones for accent blare. Delectable with every syllable Nectar interest, spillable. Prints stained with more than smoke Rugged ocean collar bloke. Blurring freckles like cinnamon Sharply seasoned by his skin. Forbidden fore contrasting morals Soft silver in his almond portals. Giving light to soul yet explored, Disguised by ground earth adored. Reputation route well-known; Unraveling bows of hearts on loan. Long lashes and long conversation, Held until sexual alleviation. Lazy Boy, symbolic possibility Recline relation simplicity. Short of stock to invest, Another leg pair to impress. Horizon is quilted with clouds Overcast of doubt, he's proud. Realistic opening as an umbrella, This season is one I mustn't dwell. After standing up for myself like this, I should've known, the crumble was inevitable--"But that's the thing... You're not showing by actions or emotions. So I'll have to go on his words. And we don't know each other enough (even though we have two years of messaging), to take each other's word as gold. The destruction I've experienced in relationships and seen in marriages... There's no way I'm going to even lean toward something serious w/ someone who isn't going to prove it every day that they want to be with me. And I wouldn't expect anyone else to settle for less with me." Skittish and unmoving with weather forecasts of new weather Comfortable in your habitat, than i should've known better He said he wasn't "chasing me around the globe" yet, he loved that I was a gyspy in the beginning. THAT'S how the cookie crumbles. Ahh, oh so familiar. Umm HELLO, why do you think Carmen Sandiego is such a successful game? Why do you think "Where's Waldo" is a best seller with less than 70 words? Most hearts race for a little challenge; it's an adventure sprinkled with thrill. Waldo might have already found me.... we'll see if this next one can keep up. ;)) "I think that one of these days," he said, "you're going to have to find out where you want to go. And then you've got to start going there. But immediately. You can't afford to lose a minute." Still figuring out where this is, and that's half the fun!
Throw Back to Fall 2016 when the dating bonanza all started..."Take down paradise and put up a parking lot" plays in the backgroundMr. Height to Cause Flight was a 6"2 goofy guy with a beard. Sweet, sensitive family oriented guy in search of a wedding date. He was one of my first matches that I turned into a meeting, while being on Plenty of Fish. I know what you've heard, but I met some real gripping guys on the dating site that's been around since yahoo chatrooms. #vintage #OG He took me on a walk-and-talk type date after early dinner in Southlake Towncenter. He seemed like such a genuine person and we had so much in common. A decent kisser and his height was certainly a plus. Mama always said find someone good to look up to. Come to think of it now... I don't think this is what she had in mind. We scheduled another date in the heart of Fort Worth at a cocktail bar on Magnolia. I have to admit... I double booked that particular Saturday. Plans for an after party would open the floor for two possibilities: if the date went well, he could meet my friends, but if it didn't, I could dance the night away with my girls. I take back-up plans and exit strategies seriously. THAT WAS WHEN I BEGAN STANDING UP TO GUYS. I'm not sure if it was more the fact that I hadn't received much attention from guys at this point in my 26 years of life or I just hadn't been involved with one's that I had to deem unworthy. Not that I'm putting myself above them but I'm building myself up by saying there's ways you don't deserve to be treated. It's easy to list Nicholas Sparks and Disney fairy tale expectations for how you wish to be treated but it seems a little dark to list things you simply won't tolerate. It wasn't easy or very empowering to say (in more than just words) that they blew their chance.... but, this was just the beginning. Spoiler alert: the date did not go well. I mean, this is datesandcakes afterall.... usually the bad dates are the ones that make for the best recipeThe irony here that I claimed this (back in 2017 when I reflected on this dating encounter at the tail-end of 2016) is when I started standing up to guys. What happened? Four years later and I'm still getting tread on. My, my, my. History does repeat itself. What "went down" was actually almost me. Jokes aside, I was not really feeling the date anymore. He continued with me to the next bar where I was supposed to meet my friends. He got himself a beer and slumped on a bar stool, while I made my way to the dance floor, the distance of two four-top tables away. He had a perfect view as I smiled back at him from my twerking stance with my bestie. Just kidding, I didn't know how to twerk at this point in my young life. One of the times I looked back at him, I got a clingy, yet creepy vibe from him. It wasn't quite a stalker creepy vibe, but more than a Halloween spooky vibe. My bestie beckoned over the music, "he gonna bounce or?" I never asked if she experienced the same discomfort, or if she was just reading my body language. I rolled my eyes in agreement, finished the Shakira song, and made my way, four strides to his table. I forget how I got him to his feet, but I politely tried to convey that this date was over. I walked him back to his car as a peaceful parting. When I went in for a hug before leaving, that was when he grabbed me and kissed me. His left arm wrapped around the top of my shoulder and his right arm strapped against my lower back, locking his hand on my hip. I pulled away where there was about a head space between us. His lips moved toward mine as I tried to pull free from the abrasive hug. His left arm slid to my forearm and held a tight grip. Trying not to panic, I shot him a look right before twisting my arm free. His right arm reached for my belt loop as my unsteady voice projected into the dimly lit parking garage, "Stt-top! Let go!" "What?" He coaxed. I lunged backward as I saw the eyes of a couple assessing the situation from a few yards away. I nearly jogged away from his car stammering, "what the FUCK" under my breath as I zipped across the garage and back to the sidewalk in front of the bar that my friends were awaiting my return. I was in disbelief. Utter disbelief that I just lived the beginning of a CSI episode, yet luckily made it out before they called in the investigators. I originally wrote this piece as a "Me Revolution" but, honestly, this was a survival story. Grant it, nothing happened, but I was genuinely afraid. I had shit to do in the morning and snatching would've really impeded with my plans. Humor is my coping mechanism for most incongruencies, but for cereal: no person should ever make you feel like that: unsafe, panic-stricken, and trapped. This was more about us both having alcohol in our system. This is a real risk of dating strangers. He called me a week after the incident befuddled why I hadn't returned his call. After explaining my side, he refuted my words as sharply as he had refuted my desire to stop kissing the week before. "You know what? I don't want to talk about this anymore. I didn't feel safe and I have to go," I spoke firmly and clearly. A smile crept across my face as I hit the end button and my screen dimmed. I exhaled. I was tired of "being polite" in uncomfortable situations. That call was the beginning of respecting and looking out for me. I had mastered dismissing the guy that put his social needs before me, and now for guy that puts his physical needs before me-- dismissed. This girl is a fighter💪 in more ways than one. I'm again, breathing heavily reliving this as I punch the ending of this encounter into my keyboard. My friends were there but there was nothing they could do. I was alone and he was the least likely (in my poor judgement of a call) to put me in a situation like that. I guess judging a book by its cover continues to teach its lessons... This dessert could only be paralleled to: Boxing BagelsIngredients
For the dough
The next morning: Remove the pans from the fridge and let sit at room temp for 1 hour.
So, this Dates and Cakes' post will pick up the fork in the road and visit the places that plated the best love affairs. Food is an art that draws me in with the aroma, colors, and presentation. The first place that came to mind when thinking of food I fell in love with was actually the food in the Salt Lake City... I just returned from a solo trip there (yes, even during new spikes in our Carona-induced world.... Dos Equis gets no love). I know this sounds like a crazy confession, but they had Venezuelan food, true Mexican mole, and great sour beers that they made in house! What more could you ask for in a mountain town? Well... it's near a mountain (or two). Since I started in the states, it's only fair to mention the C'est si bon food that IS New Orleans; they probably have the best food in the country. How can I make such bold claims? Simple, I'm Cajun. San Francisco had great sourdough bread and baguettes. While we're here, I'll throw two more your way: Charleston has some great southern food and have revolutionized brunch. Then, Hillcountry and the metroplex in Texas has great BBQ, tacos, Tex-Mex, Mexican, and burgers.... "Put some south in your mouth" as the wise ones say... But how elementary of my palate to stay in the states for good eats? My heart fluttered with the flavors the central of Belize provided me. I loved the food in Belize because it's a humble country, so all the citizens I encountered were friendly and welcoming. Their food is phenomenal and they cook it right in front of you out on big pits. Sizzling meat Greece also had a really good food because they fry their cheese oh gosh! Belgium has good food too! When I was in Brussels and Brugges, I just ate my way through those cities. This pastry was something we stumbled upon while exploring Brussels by foot. It was a cream cheese tart with middle eastern influence (we were in an Arabian neighborhood/district kilometres outside city center).And obviously Rome has really really really really really good pasta. Like the homemade tortellini I could have eaten without the sauce but then he put hand-grinded pesto sauce and I seriously thought I was going to go into a food coma. Prague did not disappoint with their fairy tale cottages of sweets. Unfortunately, their staff's customer service was no fairy tale. Madrid has GREAT tapas and Bordeaux has incredible bread. Even from their grocery store like one croissant was like equivalent to $0.85 and I almost wept, it melted in my mouth. Two words: STREET MEAT. Where? Budapest and Brussels
"Put a fork in me, I'm done!"
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AuthorChef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart... Archives
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