I used to think being called cute is an insult. It's a "safe" compliment. It is also a common compliment for puppies and babies. BUT, it's preferred to sexy. I've only come to this conclusion THIS last week of April. I'm surprised my eyes haven't rolled into the back of my head. We'll start with the guy I was going out with when Mr. Blues Clues from last post texted me about "adding to the party" completely oblivious to the fact that I was not playing pool in a t-length dress 42 minutes from my house for "fun." This guy we will call Mr. You-Should-Take-This-As-A-Compliment. This guy was more attractive in person than pictures and certainly carried himself as such. His eyes scanned my thin, pencil shaped dress several times before the words "wow, you look great" fell out his mouth. The typical banter commenced as I sipped on his southern accent that didn't match his face and a chocolate rum drink shaken, not stirred. He bought the bartenders a round and referenced his friends that kept illuminating his phone. "Everyone is trying to hang when I'm in town" he explained. "God, you're so hot," he muttered as I rolled my eyes. Speaking of rolls, cue waitress stage left with our sushi rolls. He picked at his plain California rolls, eating only 4 pieces by the time I had consumed my complex order that claimed to be spicy, yet to no avail. "Let's go play poooool." He pleaded with emphasis on the double o's almost like a Brit. "In this dress?" "Yeah, why not?" Another eye roll and I was on my way to his souped up black Jeep in which he opened my door for me. *Tallied 1 for the visitor team* But then, removed the tally with his music selection. It was a playlist of rap "munchies" as I heard my younger sister refer to them once. Kodac Black and other young voices I'd never heard of. I had no concern he would keep driving and take me somewhere dangerous, never to return even though now I was miles from my car in a city 48 minutes from my house. I guess this comes with dating for 6 years. WOW that long. Jeez. He leaned in once he parked and I was curious how this one would feel. There's something about a first kiss that is thrilling. So many questions to be answered. Will it be sweet? Will it be slow and intentional or sloppy and hurried? What about the size of his lips-- mine are small so I need ones a bit more robust. Will he use too much tongue? Will he use it or park it in my mouth like it's a garage? As the thoughts flooded, so did the memory that we had kissed before. Rewind 2 nights. His messages were persistent. We had conversed on snapchat from a mutual swipe on FB Dating (the most effortless dating app to initiate when plastered) but it never formulated into meeting. He claimed that he usually "drops" people that don't make time to meet up but there was "something different about you and I don't know why." Color me NOT flattered. That's more of a line than the yellow ones on 35E. I don't know if it was the peanut butter whiskey I was sipping or the loneliness that kept calling but I gave him my address and my bed time so he knew he had approximately 90 minutes to converse with me and then skedaddle. .....guess his country accent was rubbing off on me. It was much more pronounced in person and I loved the contrast. He dressed preppy and clean cut but had a country twang and a smirk that made one part of your brain wonder... Banter was instant and after a few hugs, he lifted me and leaned in. I held my breath and wasn't disappointed. His lips were much bigger than mine (kinda pouty) and admittedly softer than mine. I shewed him out of my house before it got too steamy and he hounded me about "a real date" until I said yes the following Thursday. BACK TO CURRENT DAY: The kiss came with his right hand on my left hip. I leaned in and enjoyed the big lips that made mine feel almost held, embraced. We stayed there for just a moment and then my hand fell into his fairly small but significantly darker hand and we made our way to the busy brick bar. The energy poured onto the street as we walked the stairs inside. I saw a sea of green across the open floor plan of the bar with Stars fans energized with the second period in full swing projected on the front wall of the bar. My date led me to the bar ordering himself a jack and coke while I took a chance with a strawberry daiquiri. I figured I should stay with rum and I was still kinda hungry from the sushi so I figured the drink could meet me halfway. We made our way to the pool table where he broke the balls? I am very unfamiliar with pool terminology here.... I'm much better with swimming pools. lol I have lessons I'm giving today, actually. Pool beans. When I leaned to aim the cue ball toward one of the solids, I felt his eyes. I looked back and a lustful look was plastered on his face. I was actually surprised it was not complete with drool, that's how deep this look was. "Can I help you?" I blurted, popping my hip out and greeting it with my fist, creating a triangle with my arm. Stirring, he shrugged. "You could." Agitated, I pushed the issue. "What? You don't want me to be attracted to you?" Taking a step back I replied, "yeah but there's more than just looks..." "You're so hot," he said, stepping toward me. I retreated to the other side of the pool table and took my shot and missed miserably... I guess like him. I sipped the worst daiquiri I've ever had, even pre-21 years and used that as my break from the tension he was single-handedly created. Begging the bartender to make ANYTHING else, I apologized and slipped him a couple dollars cash. I returned to my lustful date with Jameson Orange with a splash of soda. I played off his blunt stares and played the game.... and pool too. We played one more game and then agreed to go back to other section of bars where my car was awaiting me respectfully, not lustfully. I could hear the guy on Mr. You-Should-Take-This-As-A-Compliment's phone say, "yeah it's me and you know." My date replied, "oh your girl?" "Not really," the guy on the phone responded. Oooo I could not wait to get out of here. "Okay, we're headed there." He closed out his tab and then grabbed my hand and led me to the door. I mentioned work tomorrow and my long drive and he tried to coax me to stay. Once he closed my car door and he secured himself in his, is when he said it. "You know, I usually don't talk to girls that don't sleep with me on the first date." I looked at him like he just blew out my birthday candles and sneezed on the cake. "Then I'll happily get out when we get to my car." "No, but don't you think that means something that I'm still here with you?" For some reason, he took my dumbfounded face as permission to proceed. "I mean I have so much fun with you but sex is important eventually." "This is our first date and I'm just not that kinda girl," I barked. "I'm just saying you should take that as a compliment. Girls approach me all the time and I am staying with you even though you don't want to do that." And as if this statement wasn't repulsive enough, he continued with "there's just something about you." Upon getting to my car, a panic attack commenced.I would like to say that this next part is shameful and I should either omit it or have reconsidered sharing this entire story but it wouldn't be datesandcakes if I didn't tell the whole story no matter how it makes me look. Here comes the unbelievable response to the whole situation..... dun. dun. DUNNN. He refused to leave me with the panic attack happening. "What can I do? I don't want you to drive like this." I tried to explain that my attacks have no triggers and no estimated duration. He asked if I wanted him to sit with me and said he didn't care his friend was waiting so I nodded. He sat in the passenger's side of my best friend's ride.... oh wait, that's a song. He sat on my passenger's side and I KISSED HIM. WHAT THE GREAT SCOTT, MARTY IS GOING ON? The heaviness and struggle with my breathing continued so I took breaks and then told him I just needed to get home. The panic rode home with me and sat on my chest for hours before I could fall asleep. I wanted to end this post with hot independent girl energy saying, This is the only "Sale" I'm on:But... I waited a few attempts until agreeing on a second date (third meeting) with Mr. You-Should-Take-This-As-A-Compliment. Stay tuned for part 2 and the recipe.
1 Comment
"God doesn't bless where you don't belong"I'm a SUCKER for the story. Another guy I met in real life.
Flirty banter, per usual. But looking back on the convo, it was really little effort on his part...He used one of MY messages as a segway to set-up a date. Hmm... Humorous part is I was leaving a date when he inquired if I was still out. I informed him of my double the next day and asked, "who said I wanted you to crash my party?" He assured me it would be adding to the party. "Shhhyeah, but it is crashing the party if it's a date. For all you know, it could have been." #guilty He used THAT as his opportunity to ask me out!!! "Maybe Friday evening we can't do that?" I had to ask for clarity and he indeed asked me out. Sure, I'm not an innocent party here but then again, I was honest... he just didn't believe me. *shrugs* He picked a place for us to meet. Didn't even offer to pick me up. CLUES? So how does a lady respond to that? Well she get's her best friend to drop her off and she pregames, of course! 3 shots of vodka in on an empty stomach and I strut up the alley. Bowling alley that is. He said I looked beautiful and put our name on the bowling list. We made our way to the bar for MORE drinks. It was 8pm because he had just gotten off work so I know he didn't have time to eat. After our second drink at the bar I asked, "are you hungry?" "I could eat." "Well I'm gonna have to eat soon with drinking. I had a couple shots before I got here," I confessed. He laughed. "Cause I took so long? Yeah, we can eat after this." If this "clue" wasn't enough, he didn't wait for a romantic moment or comment, he just leaned over and kissed me. Drunk me kissed him back and lingered. *facepalm* After sweeping the lane and striking my 6'2 date out.... errrr sparing some time to show him how to bowl. I asked where we were getting nourishment and if he could give me a ride home. He said he didn't mind the place we picked was 3 minutes in the opposing direction of my house and then we got a booth. More kissing commenced and he revealed his 10 year relationship that ended 3 years ago. Things still seemed to be moving along. Hand holding, he didn't get my door, but I was still into it. Also, I was still inebriated. 8 shots of vodka, whiskey, and vodka redbull will do that to ya ;) Outside my house was where my puzzler got sore. He..... hope there's not sensitive ears here. He bent me over his car and pressed against me like a thumb to a stamp on the corner of an envelope. One large hand tugged at my hair while the other lightly gripped my neck. His tongue found my neck and just when my breathing quickened he backed up. Gasping for air I turned my whole head, staring at him blankly. "I have to work tomorrow at 6am." "Wow, you're a tease." He smirked before I could say, "wow, that's what this feels like." I scoffed and turned toward the gate outside my house. I muttered a wish of safe travels and luck for his shift tomorrow and I punched my number into the gate while he backed up. I don't even think he checked to see I made it into the house before peeling onto the road. Texted me two hours later "I'm home" when he only lives 40ish minutes away. From there, the conversation was about the business he had ahead and friend he was picking up from the airport. I can't be jealous if it was a girl but that was when our convo ended. ^^Even his mailbox has a red flag! I guess all do but... I liked him :(( I asked God if this boy was just going to hurt me, to remove him from my life."And he did." Not gonna correct the grammar or point out that a text message takes all of 58 seconds; I'm just going to take Blue's clues and God's answer to my prayer. 2 cups blanched almond flour
1 cup creamy almond butter ½ cup maple syrup 1 tsp. vanilla extract ½ tsp. cinnamon freeze-dried blueberries sprinkles
https://www.nickelodeonparents.com/these-blues-clues-you-cookies-are-all-bark-no-bake/ Season: Winter 2022 Location: Arlington, TX Mr. Trucking to Bucking was quick-witted and flirty and direct. All qualities that peaked my interest but inevitably lead to his downfall. Our first date, after weeks of phone calls and humorous story ping-ponging, took place in his town a couple minutes from his favorite watering hole. Okay, I drink like a fish so not a problem yet.... his approach to the whole date is probably what hammered the nail for him. "We're gonna have a good time obviously so you can spend the night and if you'd prefer, you can sleep on the couch." Unsure if I should react to him offering to put me on his couch IF I preferred or to him thinking that on the first date I was going to spend the night. Mama didn't raise no: fool, pansy, introvert, or lightweight. I popped back like a rubber band being stretched to its limit. Not to mention I was slightly frustrated in his assumption that I couldn't hold my liquor. I don't put myself in the situation where I lose ability in my cognitive functions, ESPECIALLY when:
His response was a car alarm at the flea market. "GOD. I was even hesitant if I should say that. No, I don't think you're kinda girl. Damn, so dramatic." I said something to the effect of standing up for myself.... chivalry... blah blah... feminism.... blah blah there's girls everywhere that spread like frosting but it ain't me. I have a feeling that's what he heard. I'm not sure if he couldn't find a replacement date in time or really liked the challenge to see if I could still be lulled to his original plan, but we still had the date. I'm sure you've got your gavel ready to judge lil ole datesandcakes over here but.... well, you would be right. Nothing really came of the date. SURE, I enjoyed the Korean BBQ, sake bombs, bar banter, and he even gave me a Harry Potter magazine he picked up in a truck stop off Highway 66 but.... guess he didn't find it magical because I declined his offer 3x for more shots. I had four and kept my ground. Then, ironically, didn't keep my eyes on the ground because I fell in a hole. LITERALLY. With my left sprained ankle. Dropped me off at my car with a hug and crickets. Oh gosh not real ones. That's a literal nightmare of mine. He messaged me two days later asking if my ankle was alright and I said no and then never heard from him again. Been reel. Better drop a new line. Would love to call this dump truck cookies but we didn't get to the stage where dumping could even happen. |
_ | Mister Nice Guy with a knack for spilling tea, Shy sapphire eyes with complexity Pierced from the past and imprinted with studs Dazzling with wit, not accrediting above Declares himself timid and toxic Intimate, but his heart, he locks it. Infidelity observer and others' habits Aspires for more than fucking like rabbits Intricate path wired a short fuse Between racing and friends: rather not choose Unique sense of style, options "shoed" Possibility potential not yet pursued Curious of his next cup to spill Content or another shallow thrill? Anticipating boiling tap water He'd be different if he caught her |
Attachment, there's no place.
Curiosity always curved
Sympathy seekers curbed.
Lingering until latched,
Genuine intention stashed.
Liberally lining their pockets,
Energy greater than sockets.
Unplug upon satisfaction.
Ignore embittered reaction.
Sultry scan for a souvenir,
Hardly the parasite pioneer.
Dates and Cakes here addressing the fact that my posts have been sparse but not necessarily apologizing because, well, I've been distance dating. I've newly defined this word as:
Distance Dating (v): The act of not actively dating but lapping up the attention from any potential suitor within reason. In order to engage in this act, you must meet the person organically or digitally without the use of a matchmaker ie: married friend set up, dating site, classifies ad, ect. Also, the person must not be convenient in literal distance from your residence, engages in drastically different extra curriculars, or is how do you say... "out of your lane" in terms of "leagues:
- It physically makes me ill to rehash the details of him? hims? them?
- I've been trying to job hunt, soul search, and take up reading
- I've been recording many of them for the vlog (subscribe on youtube: datesandcakes)
But what we do know.... is I definitely have not met my future ex-boyfriend.
Today's post though is for the connection casualties that caused damage. Unfortunately, since this happens to be my type, this new Carly Pearce song is dedicated to.... well at LEAST 5 guys that come to mind. I didn't love any of them, but a girl can dream... and my dreaming is astronomical. Hell-- I just got back yesterday from a solo trip to Cabo! AND I'm already kicking around plans for the next adventure.
I like to think I'm getting better at this temporary thing. Sure, we live in a throw-away society but, never in my wildest dreams could I have placed myself in the same room as disposable. Middle school and college should have prepared me for that with some of the friendships that came to pass and quite frankly broke my heart. Alas, I continued to throw parts of my heart into things and encounters probably in 2018.
2017 was my first year dating around EVER. Single, cute, no kids, no divorce, and a listener? The possibilities were endless. The chase was riveting and my attention span matched the longevity of each encounter. It wasn't until I got tired of sharing my story (which had been spark-noted with a dose of mysterious) and wanted to be my quirky, loud self with one of the guys I was dating that I started to lean toward boy friend boulevard.
I'd like to say the forgetting is easier, because the goodbye certainly is. I'd like to say "next time is gonna-- I'm not gonna..."
Dedicated to: [you know who you are]
I am my mother's daughter
I watched her with my father
I saw it all, the good and bad
Should've known better than that
You found me at the right time
I loved you from that first night
Bet everything on what we had
Should've known better than that
[Chorus]
I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste
You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame
Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known bеtter
Than to break what you couldn't fix
Boy, what a shame what you'rе gonna miss
Why'd you go and do what you can't take back?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that
[Verse 2]
You sold me on a fantasy
Damn it, it all felt real to me
Thought you were the man in the photograph
Should've known better than that
Oh, I should've known better than that
2
[Chorus]
I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste
You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame
Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better
Than to break what you couldn't fix
Boy, what a shame what you're gonna miss
Why'd you go and do what you can't take back?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that
[Instrumental Break]
[Bridge]
Still some nights, I'm crying on the floor
But I'm not sleeping in the bed you made, no more
[Chorus]
I gave you my heart, you let it go to waste
You made me do the leaving and you made me take the blame
Does it make you feel good, to make me feel bad?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better
Than to break what you couldn't fix
Boy, what a shame what you're gonna miss
Why'd you go and do what you can't take back?
Yeah, you should've known better, should've known better than that
Standards to oblige-- bent
Anticipation of something built
Following bios and emotions spilled
Sheer intrigue wrapped like candy
Something shore leaves you sandy
Different dawn and dialect
This one too, I must forget
I'm attracted to accents, beards, height, humor, and unfulfilled potential. The last of these is the one that gets me into trouble.... and quite possibly earns me a fraction of these datesandcakes stories.
I lust over the story-- "our story" that we could tell others how we met. I live for the chase and impossible situation that only we together could make possible. I pretend that time-zone conversion will be a conversion of the soul. Okay... that one was too far.
- He's only talking to me
- He genuinely wants to get to know me
- He sees potential in me and maybe even excited about it
- He wants to get to know me on the inside and not just get there
- He couldn't possibly just be killing time
- He would pursue long-distance if he found someone worth it
- He is bound to belt the Hootie and the Blowfish song "I Only Wanna Be With You," even if it's just to himself about... well, your's truly
- He will not make me settle down
- His more reserved side will even us out as a couple
- He'll want to tell his friends about me
- He won't leave me on read intentionally
- He'll respect me
- He'll be as thoughtful as I am (to my inner circle -xoxo)
I figured a baker's dozen is a good place to stop ;))
You can't read between lines that aren't even drawn in the sand. Number 11 and 12 are probably the biggest jokes of all, at least lately....
It's like I didn't understand science or the scientific method AT ALL. Stephanie, your hypothesis is continuously wrong!
|
There's been SO manyyyyyyy examples of this in my "dating." The current shut-down status of the world begged for the quotation marks because it seems globally we are shutting people out since life as we know it has shut down and rerouted our day-to-day existence. I cannot tell you the last time I actually felt like I "dated" someone. Seems lonely, but is only at times I'm not pushing myself for better.
Actually, datesandcakes' science of attraction and downfall of all the connections I've had in the last year (let's not bite off more than we can chew ;) could really be summed up to one painful truth. It's a personal problem. As arithmetic taught me, I'm the common denominator!
So, here's to working on me and maybe my next hypothesis will be have some ground to stand on.
You hear the man! And what better pair of flavors that exude the "laws of attraction" than.... (drum roll please)
Don't be peanut butter and jealous... as always, I share the recipe. I will say, that picture was for comedy purposes and this is the one DatesandCakes will be making:
- Cake:
- 1/2 cup salted butter, softened
- 1/2 cup peanut butter
- 1 cup light brown sugar
- 1/4 cup granulated sugar
- 3 eggs
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 1 cup whole milk
- Frosting:
- 2 sticks salted butter, slightly softened
- 1/2 teaspoon unsweetened grape Kool-Aid mix
- 3 Tablespoons grape jelly
- 3 1/3 cups powdered sugar
- 3 teaspoons warm water
- Additional peanut butter and jelly for garnish, if desired
- Purple food coloring
- Preheat oven to 350. Butter and flour 3 (8 inch) round cake pans and set aside. Alternately, you can make 2 thicker cakes.
- In a medium bowl, combine the flour and baking powder. Set aside.
- In the bowl of your mixer, beat butter, peanut butter and both sugars on medium speed for 2 minutes, until light and fluffy. Scrape down the sides of the bowl, then add eggs, one at a time, mixing well after each. Beat in vanilla extract.
- With the mixer on medium low, beat in flour and milk alternately, starting and ending with the flour mixture. Scrape down the sides of the bowl and give the batter a good stir from the bottom with a rubber spatula.
- Spread batter evenly in prepared pans and bake for about 25-30 minutes or until top springs back when lightly touched in the center. Remove from oven and let cool in the pans for 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.
- Prepare frosting:
- In the bowl you your mixer, beat butter, Kool-Aid mix, and grape jelly until smooth. With the mixer on low, slowly add powdered sugar, a little bit at a time, until just mixed in. Add warm water food coloring and slowly increase mixer speed to high. Beat for one minute, until smooth and fluffy.
- Stack and frost cake. If desired, chill after frosting, until firm, then top with peanut butter and jelly for garnish.
A new emotion surfaced. Just then, on page 314, this character playing the part of a romantic, but is really deep down a conman, said those three words that I'll never forget were said to me.
Combination of words: one part cliche and one part desired for reasons unbeknownst to me. Words that has he sent them through my ear piece, affirmation rushed over me like the light breeze accompanying a big wave, just as it crashes on your anchored feet in Sullivan's Island sand.
"I see you."
Rage becomes me as a girl becomes a woman in a sea of confusion and cramps and blood. My memory fumes of the boy that strategically staged those three words to unravel my yarn barricade of protection from "boys like him."
I gripped a black ballpoint pen as if it were his phone, since I could never inflict real farm on such a stoic shell. His reputation precedes him and I was a con's opportunity of a different hue. Benevolent and beautiful, but with wavering worth. Perfect.
The other pages were third person and self-righteous, so to turn to a prologue with depth was irresistible. It was all about the wait, like string lights on a timer.
Reminders hidden through seasons and capitalizing on tapered male relations. Withholding is the guilt-free gun that provides the same overall impact, but with the precision men of war exist on. A being that never actually thrives but survives on numbing. Substances, seductresses when simple and serving, and luxuries consumed until used up and tired. Then, his exhaustion fingerprinted with disinterest, shrugs off his fixation and falls to familiar once more.
He's more hollow than he allowed you to feel. Your erosion of feeling is a discovery that you too "see him." You pray it's for the last time.
When they didn't seem to savor their first slice.
I thought some of these connection casualties would have left me empty, like a "shell" of a person.... Turns out, they were just shell-fish and now are new additions to "crusty" remains of relationships that could have been. You know what the ball of painful puns means....
Time for the KRUST
- 2 and 1/2 cups (315g) all-purpose flour (spoon & leveled)
- 1 teaspoon salt
- 6 Tablespoons (90g) unsalted butter, chilled and cubed
- 3/4 cup (148g) vegetable shortening, chilled
- 1/2 cup (120ml) ice water
Instructions
- Mix the flour and salt together in a large bowl. Add the butter and shortening.
- Using a pastry cutter (the one I own) or two forks, cut the butter and shortening into the mixture until it resembles coarse meal (pea-sized bits with a few larger bits of fat is OK). A pastry cutter makes this step very easy and quick.
- Measure 1/2 cup (120ml) of water in a cup. Add ice. Stir it around. From that, measure 1/2 cup (120ml) of water– since the ice has melted a bit. Drizzle the cold water in, 1 Tablespoon (15ml) at a time, and stir with a rubber spatula or wooden spoon after every Tablespoon (15ml) added. Do not add any more water than you need to. Stop adding water when the dough begins to form large clumps. I always use about 1/2 cup (120ml) of water and a little more in dry winter months (up to 3/4 cup).
- Transfer the pie dough to a floured work surface. The dough should come together easily and should not feel overly sticky. Using floured hands, fold the dough into itself until the flour is fully incorporated into the fats. Form it into a ball. Divide dough in half. Flatten each half into 1-inch thick discs using your hands.
- Wrap each tightly in plastic wrap. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
- Roll out one disc with a pin (preferably not bowling). Start from the center of the disc and work your way out in all directions, turning the dough with your hands as you go.
- Lay it down to sleep in a 8" pie dish and pierce center with fork multiple times (like these dates and cakes features did with your heart)
- 1/2 cup sugar
- 1/4 cup cornstarch
- 2 cups half-and-half
- 4 egg yolks
- 3 tablespoons butter
- 1 cup sweetened flaked coconut
- 2 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract, divided
- 2 cups whipping cream
- 1/3 cup sugar
- Garnish: toasted coconut
Step 2
Stir in butter, 1 cup coconut, and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Place plastic wrap directly on pan to cover and let stand for 30 minutes. Spoon custard mixture into crust, cover and chill 30 minutes or until set.
Step 3Using an electric mixer, beat whipping cream at high speed until foamy; gradually add 1/3 cup sugar and remaining 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla, beating until soft peaks form. Pipe or spread whipped cream over pie filling. Garnish with toasted coconut if desired.
https://www.southernliving.com/recipes/coconut-cream-pie
Author
Chef Steph cooking up trouble. If she can't find anything real, she bakes real good sweets. Chocolate really may mend a broken heart...
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